Good morning beloved terrible ones! Here’s your terrible news for terrible people :D
Was Pam Bondi shitcanned as Trump II’s first attorney general for not wiping the Epstein Files of all the alleged Trump rapes, or for going too easy on his Enemies? Why not por los dos? (The New Republic)
DOJ appealing to throw Liam Ramos, the little boy in the bunny hat whose picture you’ll never forget, out of the country, some more, again. (Joyce Vance)
Hey, how many criminal investigations did the DOJ under Pam Bondi drop so they could try to deport Liam Ramos some more, again? How about 23,000, does that sound good to you? (Pro Publica)
Here’s what it’s like at Dilley, the ICE prison we already broke Liam out of once. SPOILER: Everything’s spoiled. (Mother Jones)
Oh no is Tulsi in danger? Oh no. (Guardian)
Well shoot, when I read that Todd Blanche was Trump II’s first (acting) replacement attorney general I cackled meanly because that guy has already been hospitalized twice for stress, but then it turned out that was ICE director Todd Lyons :( (Politico)
Yes of course Trump wants to end Medicare and Medicaid and daycare and everything else to have money for his not a war which he already won. He would want to end them anyway! (HuffPost)
Is firing the Army chief of staff a good sign for the not a war which we already won? (CBS News) Almost totally forgot (less than a week later!) that this guy was refusing to block promotions of women, people of color. (Robyn! Right here! At Wonkette!)
“The world can’t even believe what it’s seeing,” well yeah. That’s not a compliment. (Krugman)
The two week war to be over in another two weeks, plus some pudding cups. (Tiedrich)
Things are going to get worse before they get even worse. There’s no good way out of this stupid war because this war was fucking stupid from the jump. (Cassidy Steele Dale)
Have you been waiting for Our Liz to address the January 6 rioters suing the cops? Well so have I! (Our Liz at Public Notice)
This by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, on Kristi Noem’s husband Bryon’s bimbofication and Mar-a-Lago Face, is excellent: empathetic and explanatory. (She fucks up the detail about Kristi Noem’s sex woobie, which you and I both know but maybe most people don’t.) (Alisa Writes)
Saturday night’s Wonkette Movie Night is Smoke Signals, available for free with ads on Pluto TV and YouTube. $3.99 in the usual places. Join your friend ZiggyWiggy at 9 p.m. Eastern!
From the comments, new banger by Bette Midler doing Woody Guthrie.
Have you sent Wonkette to a friend today?
Your friend Callyson hipped us to Bookshop.org: the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here’s our Bookshop affiliate link, when you buy books, we get a taste!
Wonkette has NO PAYWALL, EVER, because how the hell are we supposed to fight disinformation when we won’t let people read us? If you are holding, and you are able, here is where you may make a one-time or recurring donation in any amount your heart desires. We love you!
This is the button for giving us all your extra money (ONLY IF IT IS EXTRA) but with Venmo.
Parties incoming!
Bilbies! Find out more about your seasonally-appropriate hed gif critter here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/bouncin-bunny-like-bilbies
And here’s your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/fecd17c4-7f12-4d45-8f07-c08be81521aa?utm_source=share
I do think it’s darkly funny that Bondi, who broke so many laws and norms and perverted so much justice in service of her bloated orange master, still wasn’t able to sufficiently please him. Oh well, ya tried. The country may never fully recover, but at least you throughly sold your soul in the most embarrassingly corrupt way you could.
Now Tulsi, on the other hand, I’m sure her master Vlad is quite, quite pleased with her.