GIRL, IT IN TROUBLE. Tabs, Wed., April 16, 2025

Morning news roundup! Things to read!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

I know your first question is “DID I (you mean you) SAVE THE DAY YESTERDAY WHEN YOU SHRIEKED AND CRIED AT US TO SEND YOU MONEY?” The answer is yes, probably, there were an awful lot of you. We shall just see if we stop putting fuckfaces all over the website, won’t we? (Thank you, we love you.)

Sign Up Bitchez, Wonkette Needs YOU.

Here’s a subscription button, or there’s another below!

Now on to today’s fresh horrors!

Smart and legal.

So that’s smart and legal. Oh, should we imprison blue state governors for human trafficking for trying to keep ICE out of your elementary school? Yeah? That’s smart and legal too, border czar Tom Homan! (The New Republic)

My goodness Pam Bondi loves to lie and lie! Plus the depraved presidents getting semi-chubs thinking about imprisoning citizens in a foreign prison from which they promise there is no return. (Techdirt)

I guess George Soros is spreading his protester money around Iowa now? They’re all like [gargles with some sandpaper], “yooo gohn bring that guy back?”

(That is joke. Nobody is paying anybody to protest and/or vote except Elon Musk.)

HISTORY FACTS: So, was the egregious Korematsu decision, which said it was kosher to imprison everybody for “being Japanese American,” ever overturned? Or nah? The answer might surprise you! In that nobody really knows! (Madiba Dennie at Balls and Strikes)

Hey, so did anybody even talk about Josh Shapiro’s governor’s mansion getting FUCKING FIREBOMBED? (Patrick Murphy)

This story has the boringest most NPR hed, but the reporting into what the Doggie boys are doing at all the agencies is pretty harrowing and also:

Meanwhile, his attempts to raise concerns internally within the NLRB preceded someone “physically taping a threatening note” to his door that included sensitive personal information and overhead photos of him walking his dog that appeared to be taken with a drone[.]

Plus they’re accessing their DOGE hacker shit from somewhere in Russia? Seems legit. (NPR)

What is it with Republicans trying to throw out military votes? (Talking Points Memo)

How do you do tax season at the IRS when everybody’s getting fired all over the place? Very carefully. Mike is a customer service representative in Philly in his 70s. Bet five bucks Mike is a Wonker. (New Yorker)

The lunatics who want you to bag up your abortion pill blood and return it as medical waste are pretty sure there’s something in the water. (It’s your whore pills.) (Abortion, Every Day)

Pam Bondi and Barron Trump are Marine Todd in these AI slop fables. (Mother Jones)

Oops, “raw” pet food is giving your cats bird flu :/ (That weird slap at organic farmers though seems unnecessary and suspicious!) (Stat News)

Liz Warren is here to rap at ya about the economy! (Spoiler: GIRL, IT IN TROUBLE.) (Senate Banking Democrats)

When the racists discover that being ruled by idiots with personality disorders isn’t worth the “getting to be racist out loud” part, hahahahahahahahahaha. I mean, that must be very hard for them :( (Michelle Goldberg at the New York Times, gift link)

---

This is how you sign up for Wonkette’s newsletter for money. (From you. To me.) (We also love sending you newsletters for freeeee!)

And this is how you sign up to donate any amount of your choosing, with the paypals, one-time or monthly.