GOP Candidate For George Santos’s Seat Caught Padding Resume, Is Actually Democrat

Meanwhile, Santos is working on a plea deal and living his best life.

While other states are teeing up their primaries, early voting began Saturday for New York’s Third Congressional District for the Hermes-scented seat vacated by George Anthony Botulinum Devolder L'Oréal Ravache Santos.

And because time is a flat circle, Republicans have once again gone with a fake it ‘til you make it candidate. Mazi Pilip, who currently serves in the Nassau County Legislature, is getting called out for fluffing her bio, in which she claims to have been an Israeli paratrooper. This appears to be a common delusion among members of her alleged party. But in fact, Pilip was actually only paratrooper-ish and did not jump out of planes, instead working as a gunsmith for her unit. But the part about being Jewish and an actual immigrant was true, and she doesn’t appear to have swindled a veteran out of funds for his sick dog, so … congratulations, Gippers!

There’s also the inconvenient detail that the Ethiopian-Israeli mother of seven is registered as a Democrat, but she promises to switch party affiliations if elected to the seat, so YOLO. 

One can dream that Pilip, if elected, would turn out to be the Democrats’ answer to Manchin and Sinema, casting off the dreary hate and going all-in for universal healthcare, or even passing one single bill about anything at all. But given that she’s palling around and fundraising with Reps. Elise Stefanik and Mike Johnson, probably not.

At least she has some experience, serving a whopping two entire years for the 10th district of Nassau County, where she said very little and did even less, voting with Republicans on issues like redistricting, but also skipping key votes. And in typical Republican fashion, Pilip opposes the very programs she benefited from with no trace of irony, claiming that the Immigration bill — which gives Republicans literally everything they want, including WALL, and which they’re now adamantly against — “puts into law the invasion currently happening at our southern border.” (Fact check: There’s no invasion at the southern border. Most unauthorized immigrants entered legally and overstayed.) One thing members of the GOP all have in common: When reality is not looking good for you, just make up your own, and then con someone else into paying for it!

The approach seems pretty weaksauce, but the Third District has been redrawn since the 2020 Census, making it a tougher race for former incumbent Democrat Tom Suozzi, the Democrat who vacated the seat in an ill-advised run for governor that allowed Santos to get in in the first place, and is considered a tossup.

It’s almost enough to make you miss George. Sure, he was a compulsive liar who graduated from passing phony checks in Brazil and possibly allegedly robbing ATMs in the US to stealing campaign funds to spend on Botox, OnlyFans, and shopping sprees at Sephora and Hermes. But least he was zingy!

Now, though, Santos still faces 23 criminal counts in federal court, though he has been claiming for more than a month now that he is hammering out a plea deal. 

His trial is set for September 9, 2024, and the election to fill his old seat will be decided on February 13.

Time to vote!