Grasp Thy Pearls And Smelling Salts, For The US House Is Plagued By Democrats' Incivility, Tumult, And Rowdydow
No Dems waving around dick pics on C-SPAN, though.
We are sad to report that the US House of Representatives, that bastion of civility and thoughtful consideration of important legislative matters, has been roiled of late by some seriously undignified shit. We refer not to Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s sharing barely censored stolen private photos of Hunter Biden getting a consensual blowie in the House Oversight Committee (which is indeed a bad place to get a consensual beej), because that would be uncivil whataboutism of the vilest sort.
Rather, we refer to a most rude and shocking breach of decorum by the Gentlelady from Missouri, Rep. Cori Bush (D), who yesterday interrupted House Majority Leader Steve Scalise while he was giving a very dignified speech — with no oral sex photos, even — about how Republicans would add all the culture wars amendments they want to any budget bill they saw fit, which is what having a tiny flaccid majority in the House means.
As Scalise decorously closed his very proper ultimatum and decorously yielded to House Minority Whip Katherine Clark (D-Massachusetts), Bush shouted, “Your bills are racist!” — a statement that even without congressional immunity would not be defamatory because truth is always a defense. Also, she did not wave around private photos of a tumescent man being fellated. The Republicans then went decorously batshit because Bush was out of order, this whole HOUSE is out of order:
You can just barely make out Bush saying “I said what I said” in the general hubbub, bub.
Once order was restored, Rep. Clark very decorously said Bush was right, because the Rs have been adding riders that ban diversity, equity and inclusion policies, prohibit funding for transgender healthcare, and re-ban abortion wherever possible, with or without the playing of a skin flute:
“Mr. Leader, we are going to continue to stand in this country for some basic principles that we are sent here for the American people, that we are sent here to defend their freedom, that we are sent here to grow an economy that isn’t just for the wealthy and well-connected, but is for the American family.
“That’s the work we’re doing, that is the basis of the great economic news coming out, and we are going to continue that fight. We hope that you will say no to extremism, to hatred, to bigotry that is put into these appropriation bills, and say yes to solutions and fairness for the American people and to build an economy where they can see themselves.”
She didn’t even have to add, “you pigsucking racists.”
In another, even less decorous incident, the Daily Beast reports — alas, sans definitive audio, sans video, sans teeth, just as well — that back on June 21, when House Republicans voted to censure Rep. Adam Schiff (D-California) for being on MSNBC too often and making them sad, Schiff’s California caucus-mate Eric Swalwell (D) said some delightfully undecorous things to Speaker Kevin McCarthy, another Californian but the titular head of the House Republicans.
While other Dems in the chamber chanted “Shame! Shame!” at the unjust censure, Swalwell — according to two anonymous members of the House — said very clearly to McCarthy, “This is pathetic. You’re weak. You’re a weak man.” Rude though that may be, we should add that at no point did he hold up a lewd photo of a presidential offspring receiving consensual oral pleasure upon his reportedly enormous hog.
The conflict grew even more strained the next day, as Swalwell and McCarthy encountered each other outside a restroom near the House chamber.
McCarthy apparently told Swalwell, “If you ever say something like that to me again, I’m gonna kick the shit out of you,” according to a Democratic representative. We’ll turn over the narrative duties to the Daily Beast here, while reminding you again that all this went down without any photographic imagery of goings-down.
Another member who witnessed the exchange provided even more context: “They were in each other’s faces. Basically nose-to-nose. And Swalwell said something like, ‘Are we really gonna do this?’”
After some back-and-forth, with chests puffed out, McCarthy issued a challenge to Swalwell: “Call me a pussy again, and I’ll kick your ass,” the Speaker allegedly said.
While both members told nearly identical versions of this story, they both delivered Swalwell’s response in exactly the same way.
“You. Are. A. Pussy,” Swalwell told McCarthy.
After a brief moment of glaring angrily at each other, McCarthy stepped aside and let Swalwell go into the WC, ass quite unkicked.
The Republic continues on, somehow, even though both sides are just the worst.
[Mediaite / Daily Beast]
Yr Wonkette is funded entirely by reader donations. If you can, please help us keep this kittycat purring by subscribing, or by making a one-time donation.
>> "we should add that at no point did he hold up a lewd photo of a presidential offspring receiving consensual oral pleasure upon his reportedly enormous hog." <<
================================
Is that what passes for a Wonkette dick joke these days?
Why I remember in days of comity long past, when Wonkette was the home of decorous dick jokes. Nay, the home of dick jokes that were downright artisanal! And yet, in this time of strife and partisanship, we have been reduced to laughter over shock-jock penis pips.
I wonder, I do, if perhaps the best of Wonkette's dick jokes are these days stuck in your throat, limply inchworming towards her articles, never to find the sweet release of publication in these days of premature issuance.
'“Call me a pussy again, and I’ll kick your ass,” the Speaker allegedly said.
[...]
“You. Are. A. Pussy,” Swalwell told McCarthy.
After a brief moment of glaring angrily at each other, McCarthy stepped aside and let Swalwell go into the WC, ass quite unkicked.'
I'm not normally a fan of masculine-themed poppycocking, especially amongst people whose responsibility it is to not only lead but to set an example for the country. But if you say you're going to kick someone's ass if they step over the line, and they step right over it looking you dead in the eye with you doing nothing, then yeah buddy, you ARE weak.