Greg Gutfeld Having Hissy Because John Roberts Was Mean To Daddy
All these white men having inadequacy attacks, it sure is somethin'.
Something that would seem helpful in grappling with and ultimately defeating authoritarianism is, aside from understanding the nature of the tyrants and their psychology, to understand the psychology of the people who immediately obey them. The supplication, the subservient adoration, the crybaby sensitivity whenever somebody criticizes their leader. The daddy issues.
Who are these people who literally crave authority figures? Who can’t function without understanding where they rank in the hierarchy, simultaneously demanding reassurance of who they’re better than while also angrily defending whoever they’ve been taught is Father Who Knows Best, even when Father is clearly an evil buffoon?
Fox News’s Greg Gutfeld had a whole tantrum on Tuesday, fuuuuuuuuck, y’all. There are many examples of this genre right now, obviously — just scan the front page of Media Matters and document the tantrums — but Gutfeld’s wailing reaction to Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts mildly suggesting that shitting your pants and demanding impeachment isn’t the proper patriotic American adult reaction to a judge ruling against you, hoo boy.
He’s going through some things, bless his heart.
Let’s all have a big hissy ugly cry together over big mean John Roberts:
GUTFELD: Maybe a guy in a robe in DC can follow all the protocols, but Trump is the “f-ing” president of the United States who protects 300 million plus people. He is a leader who does not have the luxury of opening up his little books to read “Oh, my god, maybe he didn't do it the right way.”
Presidents simply do not have time to open up tiny little so-called “books” to see if they’re following some alleged “Constitution.” And they certainly don’t have competent staff to check such things for them, because DOGE fired all the smart ones and whatever dimwitted racist cowfucks are left, well they’re no help.
The president isn’t a ROBE GUY, OK?
GUTFELD: Roberts, shut the “f” up!
Uh oh, here comes some masculinity, the kind that’s always bottling itself up inside Greg Gutfeld.
It’s causing the prissy poopypants afternoon Fox News host to get so mad he’s telling the Supreme Court chief justice — the conservative who literally gave Trump the broad immunity he and all his adoring Nazi followers are enjoying today — to SHUT THE “F” UP!
Better watch out, Greg might say the initials of all the other swear cusses he knows!
GUTFELD: This is something that a president has to do. He has to do this.
Daddy knows best, and Daddy says this is important, Daddy says he has to do this, and Daddy wouldn’t lie about the men he’s selling into slavery being terrorists, Daddy says this is a important national security operation!!!!! and not just insecure pighumping white racism, and Greg loves Daddy, and if you say Daddy is wrong and bad then YOU’RE wrong and bad, and little Greg will give you a shiner after third period for saying those things about Daddy!
GUTFELD: It blows my mind how wrong I was in 2016, or 2015, when Trump came down the escalator, and we were, I was like, I can't believe he said these things. Everything he said was right. They are sending bad people. They're sending bad people. What did he say? “They're sending killers and rapists...” Do you remember this?
It helps to talk out loud about the people who are saying wrongthinks about Daddy, even when those people are our former selves, before we learned our lesson and started obeying. Gotta teach former self a lesson!
So yeah, hoo boy.
As we said, there are so many of these white man masculine inadequacy tantrums happening this week — hey look, here’s two more real alpha males of the genre — it’s impossible to take the time to laugh at each one individually. Lord, the time alone it requires to sufficiently make fun of Trump immigration Nazi Tom Homan and his frustrated PE teacher whistle.
But we’re willing to try if you are.
Patriotism comes in many forms, after all, and there are all different ways to help save your country.
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>>GUTFELD: Maybe a guy in a robe in DC can follow all the protocols, but Trump is the “f-ing” president of the United States who protects 300 million plus people.
Funny, I don't feel real protected right now. And I'm a straight white dude that's reasonably well off.
Working on his routine for his one-man show at the Kennedy Center?