Time for a shock, are you ready? Remember Aileen Cannon, the two-bit hack in Florida who was assigned the case of Donald Trump and his stolen classified secrets, and then dismissed that case because she is an idiot piece of MAGA dryer lint and she loves Donald Trump SOOOOOO MUCHLY BIGLY TOO MUCH AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH?
She’s on Trump’s shortlist for attorney general, reportedly.
Amazing how that works, reportedly!
You get what you pay for, we guess. (With your integrity and your entire professional reputation.)
ABC News reports:
Cannon's name appears on a document reviewed by ABC News titled “Transition Planning: Legal Principals,” which lists potential staffing for the White House counsel's office, the Department of Justice, the FBI, and U.S. attorneys' offices, as well as proposed candidates for the top legal positions within multiple government agencies, should Trump be reelected.
The document was drafted by Trump's top advisers with input from Boris Epshteyn, who oversees Trump's legal team and is one of Trump's most trusted advisers, sources familiar with the matter said.
Cannon was so famously out of her league when it came to trying to preside over the Trump case, she could barely write an order. “Analysis paralysis,” we think Asha Rangappa called it. She seemed so scared she was going to make a mistake — and thereby give Special Counsel Jack Smith an easy reason to go to the 11th Circuit appeals court so they could all laugh at her while kicking her off the case — that she just kept hearing bullshit motions and asking stupid questions, having to have the easiest concepts explained to her over and over and over again.
It was like watching particularly stupid paint dry.
Of course, now that Cannon has dismissed the case, Smith has officially gone to the 11th Circuit, asking them to please explain to her (again) that she is a moron who is bad at judging, and to get the case reopened.
It’s unclear from the reporting whether Cannon knows what attorneys general do all day, or that it wouldn’t just be dismissing cases against Trump all day. That’d be the first day, probably — there are still a lot of felony counts pending against Trump. You know, as soon as she does some icebreakers and trustfalls with DOJ staff. But after that, is Aileen Cannon really ready on day two to be Trump’s Justice Department enforcer, the deputy Nazi to go after his enemies? Or would she just DERP DERP DERP that up too?
Bet she couldn’t even find Hunter Biden’s laptop with both hands.
We don’t know how seriously we should take this reporting. It’s only a short list, after all. ABC News’s report says Cannon’s name appears second on the list of possible AGs, after former SEC chief Jay Clayton. It says there are “nearly a dozen” names on the list, and that Cannon’s name didn’t get added until WELL after she had done Trump a favor, though, and dismissed Trump’s case out of a lack of personal professionalism and judicial ability, because she’s stupid.
Also, there are a whole bunch of other people on the list who might be even better at being Trump’s Nazi generals than Cannon:
For instance, other documents circulated within Trump's transition operation show that potential candidates under consideration for attorney general include Jeffrey Clark, who pleaded not guilty after being indicted in Georgia for his alleged efforts to overturn the 2020 election; Mike Davis, who has posted several controversial statements on social media promoting plans to target Trump's political opponents, imprison members of the media in “gulags” and put migrant children “in cages”; and Mark Paoletta, a former White House lawyer and longtime friend of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, who also represented Thomas' wife Ginni during the House Select Committee's investigation into the Jan. 6 assault on the U.S. Capitol.
Nah, she isn’t getting the job.
Sorry, dumbfuck.
Sometimes the prize is just getting nominated, womp womp, the end.
[ABC News]
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Guys, this is the type of shit that a little Stoicism can help with. The universe of shitty things Trump would do if he gets elected is infinite. There is no use getting worked up about it. The only thing you can do is vote, so do that and stop running around with your hair on fire over every potential outrage.
putting this here because it just happened (and I'm still blown away by it)
DID YOU ALL JUST SEE VICE PRESIDENT HARRIS FLIP THE MEDIA ON ITS OWN HEAD??
And push them – force them - to talk about what SHE wanted to talk about … instead of 24/7 Donald and his schemes, which get them ratings and give them “horserace” so they don’t have to think about anything even though that’s a false equivalence that dulls the necessary critical thinking skills the American citizenry needs to vote well and make the right choice for unified Democratic government (so we can save democracy, the Constitution, and the country in some cases from itself)?
She even fooled me, and it’s part of my job generally to watch for these things. Given the reports this morning about N Korea sending troops to Russia (which is all sorts of things, we’re trying to take one thing at a time here) AND the fact that she was holding what might be the shortest but most impactful press delivery in modern Administrations outside the residence at the Naval Observatory – I thought she was there to talk about that.
But she didn’t. She said “Donald Trump is a Nazi and a wannabe fascist in pursuit of unchecked power who disrespects our troops, and we have proof from Republicans who served with him that that is what she wants” – and she forced us to pay attention and she forced even the billionaire-backroom-driven corporate media to pay attention.
She didn’t take questions. She directed the media’s attention to what a Republican in the Trump Administration said about Donald Trump – which is that he wanted his generals to be like Hitlers. Then she went into the reasons why that was bad (because she knows Republicans have starved public education for 50 years so that generally people don’t read).
And now they’re not only talking about what SHE wants them to – she’s also not permitting them to bury DONALD TRUMP IS A FASCIST in the news cycle and forget not only that he wants it and he said it, but that we have ACTUAL EVIDENCE that he said it (unlike his and Rudy’s claims of “voter fraud” when we all know by know it’s almost only ever Republicans who do that – and what they actually mean is “Black people should not have been able to vote because White people should always be in charge” – since we all know a White majority has not put Democrats in charge of the White House since 1968).
Masterclass. Everybody pay attention, kids. When we talk about the lens through which “the news” these days is produced and we need to pay as much attention to what the messengers pick and choose to talk about and leave out – THIS is what we need to pay attention to. THIS is what the MVP just handled and taught us how to do by example.
#VoteBlue, everybody
💙💙