Guess Who’s NOT Living In White House If Trump ‘Wins’ 2024 Election? No, Guess.
We know one way to make sure of it.
Here’s one of those tidbits that probably surprises no one: If Donald Trump somehow manages to steal/weasel his way back into the White House in November — you know, like if one of America’s enemies hacks the voting machines, or if enough American voters TEACH US A LESSON about how both parties are actually “the same” LOL — then one person who’s probably definitely not moving back to DC is Melania Trump.
Can you imagine? Her having to feign involvement in that marriage all over again? Pffffft yeah. Get used to not having a first lady again if you let Trump near that place, America.
Maybe Alina Habba can go to state dinners or something.
Axios says don’t expect Melania in DC “more” or “at all, really,” if Trump were to snake his way into a second term. (Axios is also already writing breathless articles about “These could be the new Trump hangouts in DC” during a second term. Such losers.)
Axios talked to America’s top “Melania-ologists” — we guess it’s one of the lesser-known specialties students zero in on around year three of medical school — and they all said nah, she’s got other shit to do:
More likely: jetting between Palm Beach (where she's spent the past four years) and New York (where tongues are wagging about Baron maybe attending NYU), coming to the White House only for ceremonial undertakings like state dinners or special events.
Yeah, well, we already made that joke about Alina Habba doing the state dinners, so we’ll just pretend Axios didn’t say that.
Mary Jordan, a Washington Post associate editor and author of a book about Melania, puts it simply: "Melania does what Melania wants."
‘Kay.
Axios notes that Melania didn’t show up for her husband’s porn peener payoff trial, the one about the woman he paid off to stay quiet during the 2016 campaign about the time they spent fucking while Melania was at home nursing young Barron. This wasn’t unexpected, because come on, really? Fuck off.
However, the Melania-ologists DO think that if she was first lady, she would try to bring back that dumbass “Be Best” shit, so we’d all get to make fun of that pathetic garbage again.
Of course, we know one way for sure to make sure Melania doesn’t ever so much as have a drawer for her tacky jackets in the White House, and it is called VOTING, to make sure we never again have to look at her or the incel Trump freaks who would populate Washington if we let MAGA trash back in the door.
[Axios]
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Wonkette: A vote for Biden means Melania doesn't go back to the White House.
Melania: [votes Biden]
Awwww-we wouldn’t have “Xmas in Minas Morgul”?