Happy Winter Solstice And Also ... Australian Gravy Day????

It is the reason for the season!

Miss Pickles and Tipitina, courtesy of my pal … well, me!

Hello hello and welcome everyone to Saturday morning! Robyn had the day off yesterday which means I am in charge of your weekly gift and looking up “what is today” on the Internet, and it only took me a minute to go UH DUHHH, SOLSTICE. So I hope you have a lovely pagan day and with all your partying convince the sun to stop running away from … the devil? No idea. Lazy. Hardly work at all for the money y’all throw in my g-string, as is right and proper.

The internet also tells me it is Gravy Day in Australia, which reminds me that our newest full-time writer, Marcie (as of this month!), referenced Wavy Gravy in a post last week, because she is a whippersnapper (in her 50s) who knows what you Octogenarian Wonkers (and you are legion!) like. Also, we should all have some poutine. Betty Crocker, I love you, but pretty sure you’re supposed to nuke those cheese curds a tiny bit meltier! I actually bought a 16-pack of tiny boxes of premade gravy (they were — but not anymore — on crazy sale on Martie!), thinking I would frozen-french-fries-and-gravy some easy poutine here and that was like six months ago and I STILL haven’t done it, even though I brought home curds and frozen french fries a few weeks ago just for that and then people ate them separately instead of just making the fucking poutine, jesus christ, SHY.

Aha, BUT. While we are yelling at my husband Shy, let us yell at him WITH LOVE even though he did not even make the poutine. He did something even better if you can even believe that!

Friday morning, he was gone for hours after dropping the girls at school, and I wondered where he had been? “Shopping,” he said, and I assumed he meant something for me, but he meant something wonderful.

A husband.

He had gone shopping for all the things he needed to make “bum socks” (because he is offensive): stockings, McDonald’s gift certificates, candy, a couple of joints, a pack of cigarettes, and cash money. He came down to show off his work, and I was so happy. What a fucking cool guy.

I’m not posting this to brag (except that my husband is rad). I don’t say anything out loud, much less Mr. Beast (?)-styley videotape it, when I share with people who need it. I’m posting it because it was SUCH a good idea, and I thought a lot of you might like it so much you’d do the same. The important bits are the money, the food, and the shit that’s bad for you. It’s nice to give homeless people socks and underwear and I would never ever knock it! But nobody’s giving them joints and cigarettes, and they’re what an awful lot of people on the street would really like. Also the casheesh.

Socks do last longer though.

Now to copy-paste the endnote Robyn always puts here and GET GONE! Y’all be joyous.

XOXOXO

Wonkette

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