Hate To See Trudeau Go, Love To Watch Him Walk Away. Tabs, Tues., Jan. 7, 2025
13 days until hell.
Hey it’s tabs!
Donald Trump’s lawyers begged New York Judge Juan Merchan to delay his porn peener payoff sentencing, Merchan said fuck off, because AT LEAST ONE PERSON in this country knows how not to obey in advance. [CNN]
Trump’s lawyers are also BEGGING BEGGING BEGGING to block the release of Jack Smith’s final report on Trump, which is apparently done and coming out soon. They are begging Attorney General Merrick Garland, they are begging Trump Cub Scout troop den mother Aileen Cannon in Florida (because two of his co-defendants are still on trial) they are BEGGING BEGGING BEGGING. We know Cannon is an unqualified MAGA hack, and we know Garland is a coward, but we are hopeful we will yet see this fucking thing. [NBC News]
Justin Trudeau is resigning as the leader of his Liberal Party, which means he won’t be the prime minister of Canada anymore as soon as the Liberals picks a new leader. Donald Trump has been trying to intimidate him, but we think this is more because he’s historically unpopular at home. We trust that Wonkette’s Canadian correspondent will explain all of this to us this weekend. Personally we can predict that Canada’s next PM probably won’t be as hot as Trudeau, because we have the expertise for that. [AP]
In related news, Trump continues amusing himself with his taunts about Canada becoming the 51st state. What’s that all about? Is part of it because he knows on some level his presidency will drive some of this country’s best and brightest to relocate to places like Canada for sanity and safety, and like the adjudicated rapist he is, this is him saying no you can’t escape me? Is it because he’s just a loser who sees everything through the lens of his failure to actually become a world class real estate mogul who isn’t viewed by the real New York society and business worid as outer borough trash, so he’s always trying to make a real estate deal that will REALLY impress people? Who cares why it is, fuck that piece of shit Hitler wannabe. [JoeMyGod]
Wanna see what prissy little trash MAGA men are? Watch this video of Nebraska Republican Senator Deb Fischer’s husband Bruce refusing to shake Vice President Kamala Harris’s hand after Fischer’s swearing in. [Republicans Against Trump]
Honduras says maybe if Trump follows through on mass deportations they might have to follow through on kicking the US military out of the base in Honduras where it’s been parked rent-free for ages. Good. [New York Times]
Also the pope is sending a nice woke cardinal who’s outspoken in his support for migrants to be the new archbishop in DC. That’s not subtle. [New York Times]
Ben Shapiro really needs to show us on the doll where Jimmy Carter dropped a Habitat for Humanity House on top of his mom, because good lord, Sparky, get a grip. [Media Matters]
This house in Grand Junction, Colorado, looks like Elon Musk designed a house for the express purpose of making a place for him to have sleepovers with other dads who are as divorced as he is. He would call these men his “boys,” but he would pronounce it like “BOOOOOO-EEEEEEEEEEEYS!” in his weird accent, because that was something that was hip and happening in like the 1990s. [Zillow]
Have you seen Alien: Romulus yet? If you’re into that sort of thing and you haven’t, you should. We rewatched all the Alien series over December, both in order of release and in chronological order, and finally made it to Romulus.
SPOILER there are these aliens and they’re like WHOA. Sorry if we just ruined it for you.
No link, we are just saying that movie recommendation.
OK that’s enough. We’d give you a recipe but we haven’t cooked a damn thing since before Christmas.
Oh and if you missed my recap of the top 10 posts of 2024 at my weekly Friday newsletter place, go see them and subscribe to me there too! [The Moral High Ground]
OK that’s it for real bye.
Evan has a side project called The Moral High Ground, you should check it out and subscribe there too!
Follow Evan Hurst on BlueSky!
Follow Evan on Facebook.
Look out for the puppy stampede, you might get run over (with cuteness). It’s your hed gif source link: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/corgi-puppy-stampede
And today’s meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/c25b8ba9-7f39-4332-a5d6-5410a19c2703?utm_source=share
IMO the Canada/Greenland/Panama thing is about normalizing/giving a permission structure for Russia taking over Ukraine and China taking over Taiwan someday. Expansionism, doesn't everybody want to do it?