567 Comments

Dear IKTTHIPTRTTD,

If you don't have the spoons to engage with a combative conspiracy-spreader, feel free to start reporting every post she makes as untrue. Most social media platforms have some kind of report function, and I believe if she starts seeing her posts taken down for being lies, she may get angry enough to stop posting them (because let's be honest, she won't see the error of her ways). Good luck!

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If she's posting racy pictures on FB imagine what's being posted on Adultfriendfinder!

The other I'd ask what they are reading so you could check it out too. An embarrassed or too enthusiastic response can help you gauge your next step.

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It's pretty easy to get grandkid pictures via Google Photos albums and text messages these days. That's how my family does it any more since we aren't big on Facebook anyway.

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Even one of my closest friends from high school that I’ve known most of my life announced this summer that he’s “officially a republican.” He’s always been a very affable, likable guy. Not very political either. But he’s a small town guy whose father was an avid gun nut and he’s worked in auto manufacturing plants for 25 years, where the bigotry and misogyny aren’t uncommon. The turning point was the Bud Light trans-crises. He felt Bud Light was “shoving it in our faces.” He tries to walk a fine line between saying he’s fine with people being themselves, as long as it’s hidden from him. But really he’s uncomfortable with anything or anyone different from himself. I don’t devote much time arguing with him or trying to change him or anyone, but I don’t ignore it either. We don’t regularly see or speak, but we do share a small circle of old friends. Most of us try to communicate to him that he’s a better person than that, and telling people you are fine with them so long as they remain invisible isn’t something to be proud of.

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It’s useful to keep a couple of folks like that on your feed in order to stay aware of what we’re up against

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I, too, have a high school buddy that I reconnected with on FB, only to find out he'd gone full MAGA. I spent a few months debunking some of the shit he'd post, only to be told my sources were "fake news", before finally telling FB I didn't want to see anything else from him. I used to date his sister. Now I'm kinda glad we broke up after a year or so.

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My oldest sister is 84, and pretty gullible. Plus she lives in a retirement community full of whacko nutjobs. So she's constantly putting stuff on Facebook that is just not true. Over a good ten years of her younger sisters going "Actually, ...." in the comments, she now starts those posts with "I'm not sure if this is true, but...." which is a great improvement and all we can hope for. I've shown her at least a dozen times how to do some basic vetting on social media, but she's old, she's not that tech savvy, and she's not that great at absorbing new information, so here we are. And at least this way any of her friends who see the bullshit post also see it being debunked.

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Ta, Sara. Sound advice, as usual. Always good to see you here, and I love your email address.

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if you mean to thank all the writers for all their articles, 'ta' works. it really doesn't mean hello. it's from Gaelic for 'thank you'. been buggin' the shit out of me to see that in all the scrolls while sensing that you don't actually know its meaning. 'Ta very much' means thank you very much, not 'hello very much'. pardon my annoyance, but it rankles my sensibilities.

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Links! We need links!

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Nov 4, 2023·edited Nov 4, 2023

To: The Exhibit Supply Co.

Attn: To Whom It May Concern (You Know Who You Are)

In re: Brolly Lady

Dear Sir or Madam,

I have been perusing your most interesting catalogue of variegated and heteroclite images with assiduous attention as well as a certain amount of sexually-aroused trembling and drooling. Indeed, this particular item has garnered the discriminating approval of many of my close friends and associates as well as that of some dubious characters lurking in the shadows.

Some, in sooth, prefer it even to your photograph (No 731-a among your July offerings) entitled "Ecdysiast with Strategically-Placed Bubbles," heretofore your most widely-acclaimed offering.

Although I have no intent to kink shame anyone, could you be so kind as to explain, in sufficient detail as to satiate my curiosity, how the lissome and thoroughly delightful young lady in the above picture managed to skewer herself with a decorative bumbershoot, handle end first, and yet maintain her admirable (and at the same time, dare I suggest, strangely alluring) sangfroid?

Your prompt and comprehensive reply will be most appreciated by myself as well as by others who share my tastes and interests.

I, Good Sir or Madam, remain Sincerely Yours etc..

R. R. Mehmeister, Jr,

Acting Secretary, The Nude Umbrella Fetish and Eclair-Eaters Club of America, East Jehoshaphat, NJ Chapter

cc (as attachment): The Editor, Penthouse Magazine

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Not enough upvotes in the whole damn substack.

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You do know, of course, that the lovely woman in question would be 115 years old if still alive? I kinda love old time naughty pictures, it gives me a delicious time warp to hold the image of her young loveliness, her maturity and (hopefully) eventual very old age, and now she's probably gone. She was probably somebody's embarrassing grandma, probably feisty right up to the end. I love that.

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I was told there would be no math.

But yeah, she would be a much more senior citizen than I am, were she still among us.

You know who else would be 115? Carole Lombard!

And of course, if I were the kind of person who actually wrote that letter, I would have been a dirty old, mutton-chopped rascal pretending to be an Edwardian gentleman. Call me old-fashioned but I think that a man of 178 should not be chasing after 115 year-old girls.

Come to think of it, though, I actually *did* write that letter.

Tempus fuckin' fugit.

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Yeah, of course I knew that you knew that she'd be old and or dead. Still, I love the time warp of thinking "oh she's hot!" at the same time as "Oh, she's probably dead!"

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To: R. R. Mehmeister, Jr.

From: I Know Who I Am

Re: Brolly Lady

Dear Sir or Madam,

We here at Variegated and Heteroclite Images, Inc., thank you for your kind inquiry, and for your time in reaching out to us to permit us the opportunity to clarify this important--if you will pardon us the levity--point.

Many of our esteemed clientele, amongst whom we count you as one of the oldest and most faithful, have wondered the same thing, but perhaps worded their curiosity in a less respectful fashion. Therefore, we have chosen your missive as the vehicle for an official response.

The lissome and delightful young lady in the aforementioned image has had considerable experience in wearing lingerie designed to stifle her attributes through the use of stays, laces, buttons, shoehorns, trusses, and other tortuous devices. Sufficient experience with this has rendered her indifferent to such a trifling inconvenience as the impalement you reference above.

I would like to use this opportunity to respectfully remind you of the amount due to your account having gone over the expected 90-day remission period, and request that you attend to this promptly. We are confident that this was merely an oversight on your part and look forward to having this corrected so that we may send out our most recent catalogue, in which you will see that Brolly Lady is heavily featured and right as rain, except for a few nearly imperceptible scars that have healed over completely.

Remaining most sincerely yours,

IKWIA, Esq.

Acting Ed., PM

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Nov 4, 2023·edited Nov 4, 2023

To: Variegated and Heteroclite Images, Inc.

Mr. Ikwia, Esq.

In re: Yours of the 4th, inst.

My Dear Mr. Ikwia,

Your welcome missive, encompassing many delicious and thought-provoking details anent the aforereferenced Brolly Lady, is most welcome. Please be assured that additional information, be it ever so indiscrete, concerning that entrancing personage would be warmly welcomed by yrs. truly.

If I may venture to ask: Are you, perchance, related to a certain Mr. Ikwia of my acquaintance, whilst I was serving in a junior officer capacity in the Navy of the United States of America, posted to Nagasaki Harbor?

He was not, to my knowledge an attorney and toiled, rather, in the field of personal arrangements (temporary) but highly accomplished at his craft, and a lovely (though Japanese) individual. I credit him with a most delightful interval in my existence.

Sadly, a rather shady Italian fellow took it upon himself to write an entire singing theatrical production upon this history which portrayed myself in rather an unfavorable light. I take heart in knowing that that Eye-tie "gentleman" (I use the term advisedly) is recently deceased and I expect that this opus, with all of his oeuvre of shabby shockers, will fall into the obscurity that it richly deserves.

But, to return to business matters, I note that you reply on behalf of Variegated and Heteroclite Images, Inc., whereas my long association has been with The Exhibit Supply Co. Are you a division of Exhibit Supply or a successor firm of the former? Perhaps you have acquired Exhibit Supply, which now operates as a semi-independent division. Please advise.

I launched a communication to Exhibit Supply noting that a shipment of images described as "Taunting Tess Discovers Ostrich Feathers" resulted in delivery of a series of chromos of St. Teresa of Avila in assorted pious poses. Disappointment does not begin to describe the reaction of myself and my intimates.

I hope this does not mean that V&HII has acquired so many corporate entities that wires have been crossed.

My account should not be in arrears. I have always prided myself upon paying my debts promptly and eventually. Surely this should not interfere with the delivery of my recent order of images described as "Brolly Lady Spit-Roasted ." No Saints, please.

On a bittersweet note, our former Secretary has retired for 20 years to life, and I have taken on the succession.

Please note: in large part his departure is connected with your insistence upon delivering materials clearly stamped on the outside in red, with the words: "DIRTY STUFF": HOTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

The Postal Service can get technical about this and Saint Teresa of Avila got grilled mercilessly.

From now on: "Plain Vanilla Envelope" means just that or delivery will be refused.

On a personal note, Brolly Lady will always be welcome to visit East Jo. Despite our squalid reputation, we are richly endowed in hotels and even motels with chambres séparées.

Yrs ever and always,

Perhaps the guy, perhaps LE.

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My dear R. R. Mehmeister, Jr.,

I hope I may call you that, for that is how I think of you in my heart of hearts. I write this with a trembling hand, for I have been struck a blow in my tender spirit, which might give the impression that I am writing at haste in an attempt to get quit of this scene as rapidly as possible, but that would be an erroneous assumption.

It is with deep sorrow that I must tell you that Mr. Ikwia has been called untimely to face his Maker and receive his just rewards for all the kindness and generosity he has shown in his too-short life. Alas, as an employer, I know it was his intention to be as thoughtful as possible to his trusting protégées, among which I must number myself. For, if you have not guessed as much by now, it is I, your winsome and loyal Brolly Lady--although you may call me `Norah', if it pleases you.

Alas, now that his spirit has departed his mortal flesh, he has left me in the direst of straits. You see, my poor widowed mother, from whom I inherited my looks and who has managed to maintain her own to a marked degree of youthful vigour, was left widowed at a young age with such dependents as Providence was kind enough to bless her. She found it necessary to do whatever she was able to do to keep a roof over our heads, however humble, and food on our table, however modest. As the eldest, as soon as I was able, I began to do a little bit of this and a little bit of that to assist her. I'm confident that I need say no more to a man of your sophistical experience, and I will leave your rich imagination scope in which to fill in what spaces I may leave in my narrative.

Due to the haste of his demise, I find it necessary to look through the office drawer labeled in a fine Spencerian script, `Accounts Receivable', in hopes that I might be able to find a patron upon whose mercy I might throw myself. I was so touched by what you wrote about me, and the concern that you showed for my wellbeing, that I have come to feel that I know you, and, I might blushingly add, care for you deeply.

If you will find it in your heart to remit a thousand pounds by return post, I will be able to secure such lodgings and necessities that will be required for maintenance of my mother and small siblings. I think it would be the course of wisdom for them to be sequestered far from here, perhaps in Bath? I fear that the stress of awkward inquiries my cause my mother to suffer, and I live to ensure that will not happen. I am willing to do *anything* to ensure their safety and comfort.

The moment I have them safely ensconced in lodgings, I will make it my mission to travel to you and enthusiastically thank you in person. I will also then explain about the technology behind the photographs of `St. Theresa', as we like to call her, and show you IN PERSON how the hidden treasures of that series can be revealed.

It becomes necessary for me to close in haste. I will explain everything when I see you soon, my dearest. I may call you that, mayn't I? Also, if possible, more money would be better.

Your affectionate

Brolly Lady

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Dearest Darling Norah, light of my life,

Curiously, I was about to propose that you remit to *me* a substantial sum.

I hope this will not impede our relationship or your ability to be run through-and-through by not-so-sharp ended objects without apparent sequellae.

Dreaming of all that spondulix, my beh.

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Herr Mehmeister,

It has come to my attention that inquiries are being made in certain circles as to who might find themselves indebted to or having the potential of a grudge against the late lamented Mr. Ikwia. And since your account was listed as having a truly impressive arrears, I feared for your safety if this information were to FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS.

It would be most unfortunate if certain names and addresses were to be made available to those who are making, at the moment, discreet inquiries. I took it upon myself to secure that information under circumstances which I prefer not to disclose at this time. Alas, I cannot promise that I will be able to keep this information in confidence unless I receive the means to acquit myself from these surrounds.

I am confident that I make myself clear.

Kind regards,

N, BL

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The following note was found, wrapped in a rock that had thrown itself through the front window of a certain business.

You puttin' the muscle on our boy from New Jersey?

Here's a hint, lady.

We took care of that Puccini guy. He thought he was smart pulling the Madam Butterfly caper. Now he's swimming with the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

Nice parasol you got stuck through your butt. It'd be too bad if something happened to it.

Signed,

One of the boys

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Not enough upvotes in the whole damn world!

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Please submit a mailing address so that we may send you, with our compliments, the current catalogue for your academic consideration.

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Hold on, I have to look it up.

It ends with .ch.

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I'll send you a S.A.S.E. for your convenience. How was I not following you until just now?

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Gorden Brown, texture like sun...

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founding

Yesterday two of my Wingnut co workers were bleating about Hamas being in league with BLM. Discussed building mountaintop refuges in case of invasion from “inner city people “.

Calling them dumb is an insult to dumb people

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Tons of mountain tops in inner cities

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They know 'inner city people' have cars right? And a mountaintop refuge is kind of expensive if you want water and power?

They should just have the courage of their convictions and just say black people.

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I read about people proposing doing that in Idaho.

Idaho. Mountaintop. Winter.

A friend's father moved the family to Idaho and taught them "Don't fight Mother Nature". When a Marine tells you not to fight, listen.

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You'll never beat nature, and nature doesn't care that you exist.

Actually I think that was the sea, but same thing.

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Tops of mountains no longer have the same degree of strategic advantage they had before the development of modern missile technology.

I'm just sayin'.

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Plus there's permitting, zoning restrictions, ecological impact studies.

Just give up and let the urban people take over.

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But... but... Replacement Theory!

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These people are scared of their own shadows.

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My response would have been, "Yes please do. Lock yourself in, right away, and don't come out until I tell you its all clear."

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This is awful. But thank you for sharing the information, my sweet friend.

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Thank you. My filmmaker friend from Kerala documented the 2015 aftermath.

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OT: This woman's daughter passed away in the Uvalde shooting.

Now she's running for mayor.

Learn about her.

https://apnews.com/article/uvalde-texas-mayor-election-e052b6ef51607f6b5fc49f722e4acc27

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founding

Mothers who were mad as Hell reformed DUI laws

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I was just thinking about M.A.D.D. today! Their headquarters were in my hometown, so we had many mandatory school meetings with their members speaking. I think they really made a difference.

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Now there are far fewer drunk driving accidents.

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I would classify it as "dumbest thing I have seen today" and I watched a video of Eric Trump earlier.

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Unnecessary.

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Welp. I need a new thermos. And I think it's kinda cool.

But if enough people here are freaked out I'll return it.

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If you like it, keep it. It's a shotgun shell. People shoot skeet for fun, and shoot game for food. I don't think it's in the same category as a replica of whatever goes in an AR-15 or such as.

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