359 Comments
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thephantomcheese's avatar

So how long before he pulls a Newt Gingrinch and dumps the missus for the side chick? With his attitude, you just know there's gotta be one...

Carthago Delenda Est's avatar

Meanwhile...

His own mother is a highly-trained, well-known professional. A medical physicist, in fact. I sincerely hope that she whups him upside his head for disrespecting her and all women who work outside the home and raise families.

He's garbage. I wonder what his dear little wifey really thinks and how long they're going to stay married after all this shit has hit the proverbial fan?

Sarah Smile's avatar

That hair + that facial hair = red flag. I see a white guy like this and I'm assuming he's a Catholic fundamentalist with a Nick Fuentes poster in his locker until proven otherwise.

Also people on social media acting like NFL players are not in peaker physical condition than 98+% of all humans who have ever lived are just deranged.

Delmarva Peninsula's avatar

So...he's telling half the audience—and their parents!—that they just wasted tuition money? Cool story, bro.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

he's what any AI will spit out when the prompt is "generic white Christianist man"

belfryo's avatar

"All of this made the absolute worst, most joyless people in America so angry, and that added to our joy"

It just dawned on me that 'owning the libs' is RW projection

Meccalopolis's avatar

Football's previously most unfortunately named player, Dick Butkus, was actually a pretty nice guy (off the field) by all reports.

Warped Wheel's avatar

unlike the less hilariously named bears legend Mike Ditka, who is by all accounts a terrible human being off the field.

belfryo's avatar

I hear he punts too

Jen's Taking Greenland's avatar

Edit: Wait. Pride is the deadliest baddest sin to ever sin, but he would meet an AP article with pride?

Hhhnnggghhh?

James Baskin's avatar

'Familiarity breeds contempt’.

Pretty sure Swift did not author that saying.

Ashannfishsticks's avatar

Regardless, this chump should keep Taylor's name out of his weird beard hole.

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

I'll just point out here, with no shade to the artist herself, that "familiarity breeds contempt" is a common phrase, not a Taylor Swift composition.

Ashannfishsticks's avatar

True, but he had to shoehorn Taylor into his bullshit because she's the biggest thing going right now. 🙄

DemoCat's avatar

He told the manly boys to embrace their masculinity, which insecure men often plead, because they feel being “masculine” is under attack, instead of simply being a toxic douche. And while some of the women will probably ignore their godly duty of folding clothes while watching Days of Our Lives until their masculine ball-kicker husbands come home for supper and sex, most will find their way to Shanghai-La by way of kitchen. Lucky Mrs. Butker!

Mike_Cramer's avatar

Hello? He’s a fucking CHRISTIAN. Giving a speech at a CHRISTIAN school.

DID YOU EXPECT HIM TO SAY SOMETHING RATIIONAL?

Jen's Taking Greenland's avatar

Jimmy Carter is a christian and has given speeches at several christian schools. Lots of rationality in all of em. It can be done.

Cock Blockula's avatar

This guy was obviously traumatized by the other kids saying, "Kick your Butker," and so he exists to continue the cycle of bullying.

Tessie's avatar

Telling half the graduating class that their degrees are useless or worse AFTER they've spent four years working for them seems like not the most inspirational speech.

"It is you, the women, who have had the most diabolic lies told to you. Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world. HA HA! ENJOY YOUR MOUNTAIN OF DEBT AS YOU STAY HOME AND MOP FLOORS!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn3hMIJfWTg&ab_channel=superjay35

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

I have my eyes on speed-roll whenever someone uses the terms "diabolic" or "demonic."

thephantomcheese's avatar

In Christianese, "demon"="anyone I don't understand"

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

He would venture to say that, wouldn't he?

I would venture to say that he would venture to say that no woman has ever faked it with him.

Tessie's avatar

Women's place is in the kitchen.

Men's place is in the kitchen.

Nonbinary folks' place is in the kitchen.

Children's place is in the kitchen.

Kitchen has food.

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

This kitchen is f'ing crowded.

ResistanceFictionistaBlondeIQ's avatar

All the best people hang out there at parties.

theblackdog's avatar

Ya know, kickers are one of the more easily replaceable positions in the NFL, just sayin.