Mornin’.
They got that guy who did that shooting. Here’s a New York Times about that guy. As is so often the case with things like this, it doesn’t seem like he fits neatly into anybody’s box. For instance, he’s got a close family member who was Donald Trump’s Maryland co-chair, huh. [New York Times / CBS News]
Want to work for Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in the Department of Health and Human Services? Well, do you believe in telepathy? Do you like showing off your body? Do you like to have sex with human beings who are not yourself? Have you ever seen a grown man naked? Only one of the questions right there is NOT on the questionnaire they’re handing out to people. [New Republic]
Don’t worry, the questionnaire came from a company run by Jordan Peterson, so it’s probably cool and normal. [Slate]
That’s totally different from the loyalty tests potential Trump appointees are having to take, the one that asks them how many hours their erections lasted on January 6. [New York Times]
Tulsi Gabbard was on Capitol Hill yesterday begging for votes, which just shows how committed she was, since she was probably crying inside the whole day about the fall of Bashar al-Assad. [AP]
Does GOP Senator Joni Ernst actually care about the military, or preventing sexual assault in the military, after all? Or does she care about MAGA primarying her in 2026? Will she be caving on Pete Hegseth’s Defense secretary nomination after all? Sounds like maybe, but she’s still not saying for sure! [JoeMyGod]
Here are 75 Nobel Prize winners who think Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and his little worm should maybe not be HHS secretary. [New York Times]
Donald Trump’s new braindead conspiracy theory is that the Democrats want to get rid of the popular vote and only rely on the Electoral College. Which … is basically the system we have. No, we have no fucking idea. It’s a good time to note, though, how small Donald Trump’s popular vote victory was. Sad loser limp senile weenus couldn’t even get to 50 percent, what a fucking sad loser, can you imagine being one of his sons and having to look up to that? LMAO. [Daily Beast]
At my Friday place this week, it was PETE HEGSETH’S GOD IS NOT AN AWESOME GOD, and if you grew up in the evangelical world, you’ll never get the song out of your head the rest of the day. Also, guess we still have to talk about that motherfucker, since Joni Ernst is such a disappointing garbage human. [The Moral High Ground / audio version]
Kari Lake for ambassador to Mexico? Could be! Maybe not! Why wouldn’t she? [Semafor]
How many Trump nominees ALSO sell vitamins? It’s more than none! [Wall Street Journal]
Wanna see some literal human trash Fox News hosts openly fantasize about Jill Biden flirting with Donald Trump? Cool. [Media Matters]
Making this recipe for loubia, after I went to eight stores to find dried cannellini beans, which seems not that difficult, but apparently is, at least where I live. Yes I could have used canned, but once I was on a mission, I was on a mission. Will report back. [New York Times]
And that’ll be enough. More stories when they get posted!
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Goats on a bucket, two bits! Your header image source info, mes amis: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/king-of-the-bucket
And your meme chat thread de jour: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/9c33b3ba-e00b-47df-9fe9-859cec889aa3?utm_source=share
It’s a leetle late in the season, but I finally got around to making the eggnog last night. It’s not going to get the month of aging that I usually schedule in, but given everything (waves hands) I probably wasn’t gonna wait too long anyway.