Never would have known Canadians share that particular food preference with the Dutch...
Cue the pop culture references: "I've seen 'em do it, man. They fuckin' drown 'em in that shit." Meanwhile, congressional GOPturds are drowning in their own shit and blaming Dems for their predicament. I'll stick to ketchup, thank you very much.
Republican Intern Named Zach to Be Speaker of the House
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what they are hailing as a consensus choice, House Republicans have nominated a college intern named Zach to be the new Speaker of the House.
The freshly minted G.O.P. nominee acknowledged that he was “kind of surprised” to be chosen as Speaker but said that he was “totally stoked about wielding that hammer.”
“I’m, like, whoa—all of a sudden, I’m Thor,” he said. “This is gonna be dope.”
Zach, who is taking a year off from his studies at the Northern University of Southern Florida, is well liked within the G.O.P. conference, insiders said.
“Zach never screws up our coffee orders,” one Republican congressman said. “You couldn’t say the same for Kevin McCarthy.”
Any possibility of some Dems joining some Repubs to pick Liz Cheney? Definitely conservative, but believes Biden won, and Ukraine and Israel should get our suppod.
No, she is absolutely awful conservative with the worst trashy conservative positions on everything except that she supports democracy outside of gerrymandering and voter suppression and well it's safer to say she's against insurrection which is good but she's right with the wingnuts in every other way.
Here in Canuckistan our Speaker is just the rule nerd, so no one curr who they are. You get a bigger budget and as long as you don’t honour Ukrainian Gestapo soldiers then you pretty much have the job until government changes or you get bored.
Let's face it, no one in the "Republican" party of today can find their ass with both hands and a mirror. What a bunch of morons. No sense of real patriotism or respect for office or country. For each of them, it's only about what each individual can get. Power, money, cocaine orgies, a handy from Boebert. They learned it all from Dear Leader, Duhnald.
I feel helpless when I see the mayo jar…..but it has to be Hellmann’s. (And my father thought I was possibly a changeling from our Tuscan family roots because I cannot stand the white sauces traditional in Northern Italian cuisine. I’m a red sauce girl all the way. And I don’t like gravy…the mayo is def some strange thing)
You mean like 4-5 House republicans won’t agree that the most Blue Dog Democrat like Jared Golden (D-ME) or Henry Cuellar (D-TX) are better than Jim Jordan or A Great Abyss of Turmoil & Suffering for 14 months? 14 months to do the bare minimum?? Don Bacon, Young Kim, Brian Fitzpatrick, Mike Lawler and David Valadao. All in seats that went Biden/Harris.
I think maybe, possibly some of the more normie-GOPers (lol) would go along with one of those ol' blue doggies, but I kinda don't see a lot of the D caucus voting for them. It's real pickle.
I feel like the latest superseding indictment gives Santos an edge in the race. If credible allegations of him touching kids are made I think he becomes a lock.
I just can't believe they haven't seriously nominated the Bloated Yam for this job.
He'd be perfect!
1. He can't shut his mouth.
2. The job comes with nubile female interns.
3. He'll serve as both Speaker and President after 2025.
The image should have read "With Rod We Thrust" instead, what a waste.
Never would have known Canadians share that particular food preference with the Dutch...
Cue the pop culture references: "I've seen 'em do it, man. They fuckin' drown 'em in that shit." Meanwhile, congressional GOPturds are drowning in their own shit and blaming Dems for their predicament. I'll stick to ketchup, thank you very much.
Republican Intern Named Zach to Be Speaker of the House
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what they are hailing as a consensus choice, House Republicans have nominated a college intern named Zach to be the new Speaker of the House.
The freshly minted G.O.P. nominee acknowledged that he was “kind of surprised” to be chosen as Speaker but said that he was “totally stoked about wielding that hammer.”
“I’m, like, whoa—all of a sudden, I’m Thor,” he said. “This is gonna be dope.”
Zach, who is taking a year off from his studies at the Northern University of Southern Florida, is well liked within the G.O.P. conference, insiders said.
“Zach never screws up our coffee orders,” one Republican congressman said. “You couldn’t say the same for Kevin McCarthy.”
Thank you for this article. I just went and ordered that awesome screaming goat toy.
I got one at our Dirty Santa party last year. I won, because my gift was the awesomest one. I had to trade to get it, and it was a genius move.
Thank you for telling me about that. This is the first I have heard of this item, and I think I am really going to enjoy it.
I'm sure you will. It's a lot of yuck for the buck, as the kids say. Do kids say that still? What about groovy?
Groovy is from when I was a teenager. I can't keep up with what the kids say.
Any possibility of some Dems joining some Repubs to pick Liz Cheney? Definitely conservative, but believes Biden won, and Ukraine and Israel should get our suppod.
No, she is absolutely awful conservative with the worst trashy conservative positions on everything except that she supports democracy outside of gerrymandering and voter suppression and well it's safer to say she's against insurrection which is good but she's right with the wingnuts in every other way.
I agree that she has awful views, but as a Republican speaker of the house, is probably better than we can get!
Here in Canuckistan our Speaker is just the rule nerd, so no one curr who they are. You get a bigger budget and as long as you don’t honour Ukrainian Gestapo soldiers then you pretty much have the job until government changes or you get bored.
Hey! Stop calling Jordan Old Yeller! Old Yeller was strong, clever, brave and loyal: none of those things apply to Jim Jordan.
Old Yeller was also a rabid yellow lab—at the end, anyway. Who ended up being shot in the woodshed.
Sounds about right. Hmmm.
I thought Old Yeller was Josh Hawley’s nickname.
Jim Jordan...what a douche.
Remind me again how things ended for Old Yeller in the movie?
Let's face it, no one in the "Republican" party of today can find their ass with both hands and a mirror. What a bunch of morons. No sense of real patriotism or respect for office or country. For each of them, it's only about what each individual can get. Power, money, cocaine orgies, a handy from Boebert. They learned it all from Dear Leader, Duhnald.
They don’t need patriotism, they need functioning brain cells not infected with MAGA.
If they insist on taking part in the governing of this blighted nation, they ought to be at least partial to it, if not in love with it.
I must be a Canadian…I like mayo peanut butter sandwiches.
your taste buds have lodged a complaint with the UN
I feel helpless when I see the mayo jar…..but it has to be Hellmann’s. (And my father thought I was possibly a changeling from our Tuscan family roots because I cannot stand the white sauces traditional in Northern Italian cuisine. I’m a red sauce girl all the way. And I don’t like gravy…the mayo is def some strange thing)
I'm a registered Democrat but I'll take the job.
How much does it pay?
Is it disqualifying if you took a lot of LSD in your 20s?
What a Shitshow.
You mean like 4-5 House republicans won’t agree that the most Blue Dog Democrat like Jared Golden (D-ME) or Henry Cuellar (D-TX) are better than Jim Jordan or A Great Abyss of Turmoil & Suffering for 14 months? 14 months to do the bare minimum?? Don Bacon, Young Kim, Brian Fitzpatrick, Mike Lawler and David Valadao. All in seats that went Biden/Harris.
Jared Golden is my rep, and frankly he's probably the best centrist between-the-parties candidate I can think of.
He's like a 1-man No Labels. Whatever, he ought to run for speaker.
I think maybe, possibly some of the more normie-GOPers (lol) would go along with one of those ol' blue doggies, but I kinda don't see a lot of the D caucus voting for them. It's real pickle.
That assumes they are there to govern. They are not. The only thing they care about is power.
Qevin is on CNN right now claiming that Gym has the votes. OMFG if true...can't be true since there's a "not Gym" option, right? [*hugs teddy bear*]
That’s garbage I think. Too many purple people will be forced to eat turds if that happens.
Well Nancy Mace did say democrats trust Gym Jordan so…
Yeah, that thought is too horrible to finish.
And Jake Tapper exploded in giggles on air, after he asked her to name just one and she couldn’t.
I read that someone asked Qevin if Gym had the votes (like in the hallway) and he said, I think so. Of course we all know Qevin can't count.
Welcome to the House of Representin'! We need President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho and his Mac9 to get these yahoos in order!
I feel like the latest superseding indictment gives Santos an edge in the race. If credible allegations of him touching kids are made I think he becomes a lock.
But the GOP is not a functioning political party so much as a collection of warlords constantly trying to conquer each other’s fiefdoms.
And that my friends is a wrap.