How Did We Worship Our Lord Satan At The Super Bowl This Year?
Not very effusively, I'll tell you that!
I look forward to the Super Bowl every year. Do I actually watch the Super Bowl? I do not, because I truly have no idea what those people are even doing so it’s not very interesting for me to watch. No, I look forward to it because every year a bunch of weirdos freak out about the halftime show and its various imagined shoutouts to the Illuminati and Satan, which is just adorable.
But this year, most of the Illuminati/Satanist freakout was not, in fact, halftime show related, despite the fact that Alicia Keys did sport a whole sparkly red unitard. Instead, they lost their shit over Ice Spice, who did not even perform and was sitting with Taylor Swift. (Who I believe they currently think is co-queen of the Illuminati, with Beyoncé?)
What did she do? Not much of anything! She wore a cross necklace that could have been an upside-down cross and threw up the “sign of the horns” with her fingers and … adjusted her turtleneck in a way that people thought looked like she was showing off the upside -down cross.
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That is it!
Honestly, if I were Satan, I would be a little bit insulted. First of all, the “sign of the horns” or “mano cornuto” or “fare le corna” or whatever you want to call it has a variety of meanings. Heavy metal types mean it in a tongue-in-cheek “Hail Satan” kind of way, while in Italy and other Mediterranean cultures it is a way to ward off the evil eye, or the same way we cross our fingers. Like, you would say “Spero che i Chiefs vincano il Super Bowl” (I hope the Chiefs win the Super Bowl) and I would say “Facciamo le corna!” while making that sign, meaning like, “knock on wood!” or “got my fingers crossed!” or something to that effect. Of course, we don’t need to do that because the Illuminati obviously rigged the game so that Taylor Swift’s boyfriend could win.
The kind of funny thing about the mano cornuto even being a sign invoking “the devil” is that it comes from Ronnie James Dio doing it during concerts. Dio did it because his Italian grandmother used to do it to ward off the evil eye, but heavy metal types assumed “devil horns” and went with it. Gene Simmons actually tried to copyright the gesture, but “his version” of it, which is actually the sign for “I love you” in ASL. So like, he planned on going around and suing a bunch of deaf people, I guess?
As for the cross, it can be used to represent Satanism, but it can also be “St. Peter’s cross,” which is a Catholic thing — and Ice Spice did go to Catholic school. Or it can just be a cute necklace that doesn’t mean jack shit. Also have these people never worn a turtleneck before? Sometimes you just need to let a little air in there!
However, there is also the possibility that Ice Spice is doing this all on purpose just to mess with these sorts of people, which would be fabulous of her. Honestly, if I were a star of any kind, that is all I would do all day long. Literally my whole career would just be trolling these people into thinking I was an Illuminati Queen. And I know so many more hand gestures!
Of course, that wasn’t all the Illuminati did at the Super Bowl this year. Apparently Usher also danced in an “Illuminati sun,” whatever the hell that is supposed to be.
Again, not a very impressive Satanic ritual — if we are assuming that these people are right and Satan is accustomed to baby sacrifices and what have you.
I was a little surprised that no one accused H.E.R., who made a brief cameo during the halftime show, of selling her soul to Satan at the crossroads in order to play guitar that well, but I suppose that would be too obvious.
Honestly, with the way these people come up with shit, it would take an incredible amount of work to avoid doing anything they might decide is Satanic or Illuminati-related.
PREVIOUSLY:
"San Francisco was way ahead with the most points, a clear victor, and they should have stopped counting right then, but they kept counting the points so of course the other team ended up with more."
Thing is, the incels were going to be butthurt no matter what. Had the game gone the other way, they'd be bitching about "San Francisco values" and rehashing their old Kaepernick rants.
It ain't about the specifics... it's "please spotlight my pathetic neckbeard ass."