Howdy, Real Americans! Texas Gov. Greg Abbott here! Just wanted to take credit for my greatest own-the-libs move yet. I’ve pulled some insane sociopathic shit this year, but I don’t mind saying I may have just topped myself.
Y’see, shortly before Southern California was hit by Tropical Storm Hilary, with the high winds and the flooding and the downed power lines we Texans know from the regular hurricanes that hit our state, I came up with the neatest plan ever: How about sending another busload of asylum seekers from Texas to Los Angeles, and maybe it would arrive right in the middle of the storm? Driver must have chickened out, though, since the bus arrived in LA after the worst of the storm had passed.
As y’all know, playing games with human lives is just loads of fun for me, because once you label them “illegals” and bus them around the country to make the point that NOBODY wants immigrants, not even in “sanctuary” cities, they actually stop being human at all and you can do whatever you want with ‘em, as long as nobody stops you. And nobody’s found a way to stop me yet! And while I haven’t actually declared that I’m running for president, I’d just like to point out to Republican primary voters that I can out-cruel that Florida guy any day of the week!
The great thing about illegals — maybe the only redeeming feature the invaders even have — is that once you stop thinking of them as human, they’re disposable. Hell, you can always get more! Like the ones who’ve drowned or gotten tangled up in bob-wire in the Rio Grande, or families I’ve started separating with the zeal of a Stephen Miller, or that three-year-old who died August 10 while I was busing him and his family to Chicago. He’d have turned four this week. Besides, it was the baby’s parents’ fault for bringing him to a savage land of uncivilized killers like the USA.
But this latest one, I’m real proud of. Nothing like a hurricane to underline what a worthless burden migrants are, because nobody wants ‘em, especially not while you’re cleaning up from a storm — and an earthquake, although I can’t take any credit for the timing on that one.
The bus — the ninth I’ve sent to LA since June — arrived around 6:45 Monday evening, while Los Angeles was still cleaning up after the storm. In fact, it was on the road to LA even while the state was under a tropical storm warning and officials were urging Californians not to travel. How scared the migrants must have been, worrying that the bus might be flung off the road by high winds! Perfection!
LA Mayor Karen Bass, who has no sense of humor at all, issued a statement calling my funny bus stunt “evil,” not even recognizing that if we aren’t as cruel as possible to asylum seekers, they might think the US is safer than the places they’re fleeing.
Bass wrote,
“It is evil to endanger the lives of vulnerable migrants by sending a bus with families and toddlers on board to a city that at the time was under an unprecedented tropical storm warning. As I stood with state and local leaders warning Angelenos to stay safe and brace themselves for the worst of the coming storm, the Governor of Texas sent families and toddlers straight for us on a path through extreme weather conditions.”
I know! Wasn’t that great? Those illegals must have been shitting their pants! And if they were, totally worth losing the cleaning deposit on the charter bus.
Bass also tried to shame me, as if I were capable of anything like shame, saying,
“If anybody understands the danger of hurricanes and thunderstorms, it’s the Governor of Texas – who has to deal with this threat on an annual basis. This is a despicable act beyond politics.”
Oh, honey, you don’t have any idea how despicable I can be. You sound triggered.
The lying LA Times, in an underhanded move to try to suggest these were even people, said the bus carried
16 families, including 14 children and an infant, according to the immigrant rights group the L.A. Welcomes Collective. Twenty of the migrants came from Venezuela, with the others hailing from Guatemala, Mexico, Honduras and Ecuador.
Now y’all just ignore that crap. It was a bus fulla ILLEGALS, and that’s what matters. Guess none of ‘em died in transit this time; probably need to make sure the next bus sits longer in the hot sun before it leaves. We have the budget for the extra charter time.
Now, If I can just manage to find a charter airline that’ll take some illegals to the parts of Canada that’re on fire, I can really make a good point. Don’t go yappin’ at me about some “international incident,” these illegals already created one when they thought the USA would be safe for ‘em.
[LAT / Mike Singleton on Twitter]
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You had one job, tree. One. Job.
If only we had some sort of framework in place to handle situations where the government of one state does something that violates Federal Law, and harms another state.
If only!