Is It Time To Bring Back The Synchronized Swimming Musical?

It's having a moment!

Look at these (almost) bathing beauties! Jake and Elwood, courtesy of our pal Dee!

For the first time in 16 years, the United States Artistic Swimming Team has qualified to compete in the Olympics! Admittedly, that and the dancier parts of gymnastics are really the only things I bother to watch in the Summer Olympics.

They won’t be competing until Monday, but you can see their routine from the World Aquatics Championships, where they came in third and officially qualified for the Olympics. It is pretty awesome, especially the part where they all spit water in the air!

In celebration of artistic/synchronized swimming perhaps having a “moment” again, allow me to also bless you with a scene from Million Dollar Mermaid, in which Esther Williams played Australian swimmer and vaudeville star Annette Kellerman!

It’s a literal water ballet!

Sadly, Williams herself never actually got to compete in the Olympics because of World War II, but even to this day she is probably one of the most famous swimmers in history.

And, of course, what would be a brief foray into the world of synchronized swimming without this classic scene from “Pushing Daisies,” featuring the song stylings of the fabulous Ellen Greene.

I will never, ever stop being mad that this was canceled. Sigh.

Have you been struck with a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, we are on Substack now so you can just go ahead and click subscribe! Click click click!!

 Or if you’d just like to donate just once …

You can also join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link. Or we’re now partnered with Martie, where you can buy snacks!

You can even send us paper checks to:

Wonkette
PO Box 38273
Detroit MI 48238

Talk amongst yourselves!