Is Sarah Huckabee Sanders's Dad Making Threats Or Does He Just Need His Bedpan Changed?
It could be both, we guess.
Mike Huckabee is trending on Twitter right now, because he’s doing that thing old white conservatives do when they’re nearing their expiration date and desperately need to pretend their existence still has some kind of relevance. And that thing is called opening his mouth and talking.
Some people are saying he kinda sounds like he’s making threats. Not that anybody actually thinks Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s gross creep dad is going to get out of his La-Z-Boy and go do violence or anything. He’s talking more in that “Look what you made us do” type way. Specifically he says if Donald Trump does not win in 2024, “it is going to be the last American election that will be decided by ballots rather than bullets.”
Oh really, Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s dad? Bullets from whom, you irrelevant hairy fascist hunk of grundle cheese? White MAGA racists gonna show out even more than they already have been these past few years? Y’all planning to escalate?
You want your country back, you little chittering rodents?
“Do you know how political opponents to those in power are dealt with in third-world dictatorships, banana republics, and communist regimes?” Huckabee asked during his opening monologue of Saturday night’s episode. [He has a show on Trinity Broadcasting Network. You didn’t know because you have a life and you don’t watch televangelist networks because you are not a goddamned fucking moron. — Ed.] “The people in power use their police agencies to arrest their opponents for made-up crimes in an attempt to discredit them, bankrupt them, imprison them, exile them, or all of the above.”
“Made-up crimes.” OK. You mean the way Donald Trump has promised to appoint a special prosecutor to “go after” Joe Biden, not for any specific crime, but just because Trump is a wannabe dictator?
Because all the crimes Trump has been indicted for are very real crimes.
“If you are not paying attention, you may not realize that Joe Biden is using exactly those tactics to make sure that Donald Trump is not his opponent in 2024,” Huckabee claimed.
Tell us about it, you decomposing urinal cake. What is Joe Biden doing? Use your words. Be specific. Show us your evidence that Joe Biden is directing this. Seriously. Pony up, losers.
“Here’s the problem,” Huckabee warned. “If these tactics end up working to keep Trump from winning or even running in 2024, it is going to be the last American election that will be decided by ballots rather than bullets.”
There it is. Is that a threat? Should Sarah Huckabee Sanders tell her father to close the back of his hospital gown and go back to his room and we’ll forget this ever happened, or should we call the cops?
Honestly it’s fine, if he wants to go to prison with the rest of the seditionists. Fuck around and find out, dude.
All of this is so dumb, though.
Donald Trump is the most loathed and mocked man in America and on planet Earth. One recent poll says 52 percent of Republicans wouldn’t vote for Trump if he happened to be in prison on Election Day. It’s 45 percent if he’s merely been convicted of a felony. These are not people who are storming the gates.
One of the best new genres of MAGA humiliation is watching how few people actually show up for Trump when he’s indicted. If/when he goes to prison, many will celebrate, while others will respond with apathy.
Also, let’s acknowledge the giant actuarial table in the room, which totally screws with Mike Huckabee’s underlying suggestion that in 2028 or beyond, there will be enough able-bodied white fascist Republicans left to undertake whatever revolution Mike Huckabee is tickling his dick about. Spoiler. It’s always useful to remind ourselves that the primary reason the MAGA cows are mooing louder than ever these days is because their numbers are falling so fast.
In summary and in conclusion, Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s garbage can of a father can go fuck himself.
OPEN THREAD.
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A slug story story from camping in The Berkshires at Holly and Paul's cabin. I wake up one morning and start to comb my hair. The comb gets stuck because I had a fucking slug tangled up in it! Ugh it still squicks me out. I had to remove a few hairs to get that sticky creature out of my hair while cursing it to hell.
Sitting here reading all of your non-comments and reflecting on SER’s article on COVID from this afternoon, it occurred to me that I have some tests, so I should figure out if this annoying cold is anything more. Of course I do this after 3AM because I’m nothing if not an idiot about time management and my sleep schedule. Aaaaannywhoo, I’m happy to report that I tested negative. So yay for that. I’m still a snotty, drippy mess but I eventually that should go away.