345 Comments

"we no longer have apples to apples analytics because Google did some weird shit this year"

I know it isn't the most important thing, but having to use GA4 has been truly terrible. Our analytics are completely fucked year-over-year and they dropped a lot of the important metrics that we use (nonprofit that doesn't sell things) in favor of monetization.

Yes, I've been bitter about this since the switch in the summer.

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Hey all you Wonkies. Happy 123123!!!

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Admittedly, 2023 was not a great year. I had a few good things happen that I can’t really talk about, but generally it was war, sadness, and rampant stupidity.

But…it was better than 2022, which was better than 2021, and that was better than 2020 because, let’s face it, with the exception of Biden winning in November, nothing had been as bad as 2020 in a long fucking time.

Are we making progress? Let’s hope so because 2024 looks like a clusterfuck for the ages.

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Dec 31, 2023·edited Dec 31, 2023

Happy New Year Wonkette! We here in The House of the Wolf are slowly and pleasantly getting tipsy. Anytime we see the word "Thunderdome", we clink our glasses and declare: "Two men enter, one man leaves!" Whatever. We will miss you Tina Turner. Thank you Rebecca for this wonderful place!

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I find this calendar difficult to masterbate[sic] to.

Difficult, but not impossible.

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Don't come crying to the Red Headed Libertarian if you have a heart attack, because she thinks you should pull yourself up by your own bootstraps if you have a heart attack while fapping to her picture.

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The big one that temporarily kilt me was an epic homage to Elvis, sadly.

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hahahahahahahaha DED

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Happy New Year and all those stories-of-the-month you're gonna provide!! I can't wait! 🥳

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Chris and Dana have a gift subscription for the first person who emails me at rebecca@wonkette.com!

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ok we got a taker!

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Donald Trump tried to kill his own Vice President in an attempt to overthrow democracy after losing both the popular vote and the electoral college. Just go FUCK yourself. I’m so sick of this “Joe Biden is unpopular” bullshit.

———————————————

They’ve written him off’: can Joe Biden beat Donald Trump again?

Democrats are set to enter the 2024 election year with an unpopular and ageing candidate

https://www.ft.com/content/00e33739-7d5d-4cda-9304-89700d2135c3

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The current guy is boring, so I’m going to vote for the known dumpster fire who promises to destroy the Union and destroy the world and is a fucking idiot.

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The candidate is ageing! Unlike other humans.

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If Joe Biden won’t stop age of them I have no choice but to vote for Trump who stopped age of at the age of 4!

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PAB is a nonviable fetus.

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My favorites are the mugshots.

The first, a trifecta of legal seagulls, victims of their idiotic overconfidence. Jenna, Rudy and The Kraken. I bet on Old Glue Factory instead.

Second, the Orange Foolius, glaring into the camera with pivotal very strong leadership, chin down to conceal his gross neck wattle. A pox upon his mold infested mansion.

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In "Making Money" Pratchett has a man's mind put into a Turnip.

Electing the turnip President was a step too far.

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So I would guess that while nobody was looking an intern then snuck the turnip's mind into the man's husk - and that's what we elected president.

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