Jersey Town That Said 80,000 Went To Trump Rally Accidentally Also Counted People Who DIDN'T Go To Trump Rally
They didn't know you weren't also supposed to count people who DIDN'T go.
TINY update on one of Donald Trump’s crowd sizes, and we do mean tiny.
Last week, poor Eric Trump was out there babbling nonsense that Daddy was more popular than Bruce Springsteen, Daddy had 100,000 people come to see him on the beach in New Jersey, Daddy knows my name, Daddy loves me, etc. You know, the typical “pick me” shit that comes out of Trump boys’ mouths on the reg.
At the time, it was kind of unclear how many people were at the Trump rally, even as we all agreed we could laugh at the 100,000 number. Even Fox News was saying it might have been more like 30,000. The town of Wildwood was saying 80,000, but deeper examination by the local news revealed that they are also counting people who weren’t exactly on the beach at the Trump rally.
Also, did you count from the beginning of the rally, or at the end, after thousands of people left out of boredom, because Donald Trump is just an old boring man yelling at clouds?
Now the town of Wildwood has issued a clarification:
InsiderNJ reports:
Wildwood officials who were the source for the Associated Press’s reporting that former President Trump drew between 80,000 to 100,000 to a beach front weekend rally now say it was not the number on the beach at the rally per se, but rather it was the number of people “in our town.”
They didn’t know they weren’t supposed to count people NOT at the rally when you asked how many people were AT the rally.
And if that estimate eats a dick too, surely there were 80,000 people in New Jersey at the time. Or on the entire eastern seaboard, definitely 80,000 people there too.
For the actual rally number “we defer to the Trump Campaign for the exact count on the beach,” the latest Wildwood statement asserts.
The latest Wildwood statement is a naive fucking idiot who was literally born yesterday.
Lisa Fagan, the Wildwood press spokesperson AP originally cited as the source for the original crowd estimate was quoted as saying the eye-popping estimate was “based off her own observations on the scene Saturday, having seen ‘dozens’ of other events in the same space.”
Huh?
Five days later, when asked to explain the wide variance between the AP reporting and the NJ.com video that reveals a crowd in the few thousands, Fagan provided a statement from Mayor [Ernie] Troiano at odds with what the wire service initially attributed to Fagan.
“As a tourist town, we speak in tourism numbers,” Troiano wrote. “When we see that volume of people attending a beach event, we know that 80,000+ people are in our town. We see a quarter of a million visitors every weekend in the summer on our 1.89-mile boardwalk, not to mention our five-mile island, so we know what that volume looks like. They were watching and listening from the beach and boardwalk, in bars and restaurants, at hotels and second homes. People even lined up along the streets parade-style. We defer to the Trump Campaign for the exact count on the beach.”
Uh yeah, sorry, but no, we are not counting people sitting at their Jersey Shore vacay houses in their underpants who can hear Donald Trump babbling about Hannibal Lecter over the loudspeaker from far away. And no, people be-bopping down the boardwalk to buy sno-cones who happen to stumble by while former President Sleepy McCrimeFarts is sleepily crime-farting about whoever is persecuting him that day do not count as “attendees.”
That is not how “counting” works.
Even in “tourist towns.”
Fuck off, loser New Jersey Republicans.
So what’s the real number? As usual, let’s just call it “smaller than whatever Trump says” and leave it there.
[Insider NJ / h/t JoeMyGod]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
If you're shopping on Amazon anyway, this portal gives us a small commission.
Numbers can be tricky. Did you know:
It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach;
A human hair can hold 3kg;
The length of a man's penis is 3 x the length of his thumb;
Women blink 2 x as long as men;
A woman has read this joke in 10 seconds, while a man is still looking at his thumb.
I drove through Wildwood yesterday. I like to check in on the state of central Wildwood, which has had a mild case of steady decline for the past few decades.
I also looked for Trump signs, banners and flags along the way, to see how much of that detritus was left over.
My report:
Signs (0)
Banners (0)
Flags (2), one new, and one very ratty/old
I can feel the momentum.