392 Comments
User's avatar
Appalachian in Thailand's avatar

At what age can someone commit crimes with impunity? Asking for a friend. He may want to return to the US to settle a few scores.

Expand full comment
skinnercitycyclist's avatar

I hope it's "63," I need time to get ready.

Expand full comment
Melissa's avatar

His poor mother. Hasn't he tortured her enough? Hang in there Mrs. Watters! sorrows and prayers

Expand full comment
Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. I've never seen Watters apart from a few clips here, so maybe I'm mistaken, but isn't he the one who slashed his future wife's tires so he could offer her a ride home?

Anyway, it's moot. TFG never exercises. Never. Not even in bed (gag!!). 🤮🤮🤮

Expand full comment
PaulDietzel's avatar

I thought he "only" let the air out of here tire(s), not "slashed" but it's a moot point. He's a sleazeball nonetheless.

Expand full comment
KEITH TAYLOR's avatar

If Watters and the rest of the GOP ever succeed in getting Joe Biden indicted on the spurious charge of having Viktor Shokin removed from his job as Ukraine's Prosecutor General, to protect Burisma and Hunter Biden from Shokin's trenchant investigation, you will not hear any of them saying that Joe is too old. Even though they are constantly claiming he's senile.

Although come to think of it, they would possibly prefer to dispense with a trial altogether and go straight to the gallows or firing squad.

Expand full comment
skinnercitycyclist's avatar

"the gallows or firing squad"

That's the consequence for "senility"?

Expand full comment
DemoCat's avatar

Awwww, Newt is panicking, and poor Jesse is deeply concerned about Trump’s health. Sleeping and farting is all well and good, but a bloated, gassy elderly man needs sunshine and to be walked! Oh, the humanity.

Expand full comment
skinnercitycyclist's avatar

"...a bloated, gassy elderly man needs sunshine and to be walked!"

How far (*gasp*) to the (*gurgle*) golf-cart?

Expand full comment
Sophia's avatar

"He needs the blonde lady to print him out some more newspaper clippings!"

They just left the courtroom. Guess the whiny baby got one thing he wanted

Expand full comment
Dave's Not Here's avatar

"He needs sunlight and he needs activity."

An hour a day in the prison yard will do.

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

They could make him the prison librarian. I hear that's a good job inside. He could turn to dealing, ratting out others and ensuring general unrest occurs.

Expand full comment
Lady MS's avatar

Wow - printer girl has been busy. Cheeto still doesn’t get how court works. “People [witnesses] get to talk about me, and I [defendant] don’t get to talk back,” he pules. Oh, you’ll get your turn, Donny Boy.

Triple dog dare you to do it under oath, hon.

Expand full comment
skinnercitycyclist's avatar

"pules"

Mmm, there's a verb we need to hear more from.

Expand full comment
Mark Linimon's avatar

Your words to Dog's ears.

Expand full comment
Runfastandwin's avatar

jebus h pete again

Expand full comment
Bitter Scribe's avatar

Wah wah Trump has to sit there at the defense table like he's a criminal defendant or something!

Expand full comment
Lady MS's avatar

and listen to sworn testimony about what a liar, fraud, slut, etc. he has been since the jump. Of course, we all knew that. Guess his fanbase never went grocery shopping between 1980-2016.

Expand full comment
skinnercitycyclist's avatar

I liked the tweets/texts/posts of the prospective jurors. If hell is just, that would be Trump's punishment, throughout eternity.

Expand full comment
Mike_Cramer's avatar

What? Too OLD? You guys said Trump was the manliest of mans! His doctors gave him that test, remember? He said he would wade into a school shooting and not only save the kids but take down the shooter too!

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

All Bullshit!

Expand full comment
skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Knock me down feather-fashion!

Expand full comment
Mike_Cramer's avatar

What about all those NFTs and Ben Garrison cartoons!?

Expand full comment
skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Those things. It's like Plato's allegory of the cave, except everyone is crouched in front of an NFT posing Trump as Superman.

Expand full comment
Lady MS's avatar

Oooh, goody! Karen McDougal! Now THAT was an affair, and an ongoing one. Really glad that Stormy is clarifying her hayroll with Cheeto as mos def NOT an “affair” but just a stump bump.

Expand full comment
Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Seeing as how Trump isn't the most imaginative person in the world, I think it's safe to assume he had nine-month affairs with other beautiful women each time Ivana was pregnant.

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

McDougal will do much damage to Trump, especially when Melania hears ALL the details. She's gonna be freakin livid.

Expand full comment
Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

She'll bounce back. One thing you can about people named Trump, they're resilient.

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

Well, she's been paid off as well when they renegotiated the Pre-Nup after Barron was in grade school. Remember she stayed in NYC instead of going to DC with the excuse that Barron needed to finish up that year of schooling in NY.....YA RIGHT!! Though it is possible she didn't want to upset the young-un at the time. She figured it was easier to pull him away from his school friends over the Summer but coincidentally after the Pre-Nup is finalized. He lies to them then buys em off, just like he did to Ivana and Marla.

Expand full comment
Enter Ranting's avatar

"Big strong men come up to me, tears in their eyes, and say 'sir, you're so OLD! You're way to old to sit in a courtroom and be held accountable for your crimes! We've never seen anything like it!'"

Expand full comment
Cakes We Like's avatar

Tbf to PAB (I know, how very dare I, exercise probably would kill him. I imagine him having to walk up a flight of stairs is likely to induce a massive heart attack.

(From my lips to the FSM's ears)

Expand full comment
PaulDietzel's avatar

I'd forgotten about that Corcoran dude. Is he the one that used to play Moochie on "Spin and Marty?" I always had to chuckle when Mr. Markham's butler used to call him "Moss-ter Moochie."

Expand full comment
Sue's avatar

If he's too old to be sitting through a trial while his lawyers do all the work, he's too old to be president.

Also, don't do the crime if you can't do the time in court.

Expand full comment
Mark Linimon's avatar

GMTA

Expand full comment