Jim Jordan Says Indictin' Trump Done UPSET THE HILLBILLIES
He said it, we did not say it, in other circumstances we might have said it, but he said it.
First, a poll.
According to the new Reuters/Ipsos poll, fully 45 percent of Republicans will not vote for Trump if he is convicted. Take that as you will! Additionally, were he to be in prison, 52 percent of Republicans say they wouldn’t vote for him. Only 28 percent for definite would.
Now look, Republicans are fuckin’ idiots, and this is subject to change, or maybe this is a bad poll, or an outlier. We are just reporting, and you are deciding. We’ll see what some more polls say. (Even those numbers are such a condemnation of where Republicans are as a party. Just awful.)
OK, keeping that poll in mind, we want to talk about Jim Jordan’s reaction yesterday on Fox News to Trump being indicted and arraigned for literally trying to overthrow the Republic. Reminder: Jimbo is chair of the House Judiciary Committee. They are interested in the rule of law, no? LOL.
Anyway, he said on Fox News that he’s pretty sure Trump’s indictments are making him stronger because THE HILLBILLIES are tired of y’all elites attacking poor Trump. THE HILLBILLIES.
Now look, we know Trump wants to be tried by a jury of his white peers in West Virginia. We reckon them’s just the types of hillbillies Jim Jordan means. We also reckon this is one of those things where they’re just fine with being called that if Jim Jordan calls them that, but they’d be mad if some wokester like Barack Arugula Dylan Mulvaney Biden said it.
So this ain’t a post about rushing to defend those folks. They ain’t care what Jim Jordan called them. It’s their badge of honor. But let’s look at what-all Jim Jordan said:
Here is the full quote:
“You look at the poll numbers earlier in the week, it’s 54 to 17 in the Republican primary. But more importantly, he’s dead even with Joe Biden in The New York Times poll. So, my gut tells me, if that’s what The New York Times is saying, it’s probably better for President Trump in another poll.”
Jim Jordan’s gut is dumb. There is absolutely no reason to believe that Trump, the most loathed and mocked man on planet Earth, has some kind of hidden groundswell of support that’s not reflected in the polls when that genius theory hasn’t been borne out in any other damn election.
(Do not @ us about 2016. That was a fluke and a joint attack by Russia and rogue FBI agents — which might yet be proven to be one and the same — and the loser still lost the popular vote by almost three million. Jim Jordan wants to tell the rubes — yep it’s different when we say it — that Trump is probably stronger among the general populace now that he’s charged with 78 felonies? Go fuck a lake.
“And I think this only, again, hardens his support, expands his support, because the country gets it.”
“The country.” This is a good example of how when white Christian fascist Republicans say “the country,” they only mean other white Christian fascist Republicans. Much of why Republicans supported and still support Trump’s coup is that they don’t view the huge majority of Americans that hate Trump and walked over glass to vote against him as “the country.”
“And I think the reason that’s happening is because so much of the country is sick of this nonstop attack, this ridiculous attack on President Trump for seven years now, and they’re tired of this, this elite attitude in DC that says, ‘Oh, we’re better than everyone else, there’s a different set of rules.’
Blah blah blah, “the country,” blah blah blah, Trump is a victim, blah blah blah, when you attack Trump, you are attacking his fellow hillbillies. Jim Jordan is just babbling now.
“And I think people in fly-over country, hillbillies in Ohio, or Iowa or Oklahoma, they’re so sick of it, we’re so sick of it. We’re saying, we’re going to support president. I think that’s the take-away, I think that’s the result of all this.”
The flyover hillbillies. Ayup.
So that was cool.
Another funny and desperate defense of Trump yesterday afternoon on Fox News was Jesse Watters saying Trump’s fake electors conspiracy was totally fine and “not a big deal.” That’s right, the guy who admitted to letting the air out of a woman’s tires to trick her into his car is saying crimes aren’t crimes. Not even pretending Trump didn’t do it.
It’s fine. Jesse married that lady! Trump’s coup didn’t even work!
We’d say these people were in for a rude awakening, but that would imply they have the capacity for “awakening.”
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I'm sorry if I am the stupid one here, Jim Jordan, but if I recollect my original collect correct, then "hillbillies" are by definition rural folk from HILL COUNTRY. There are no hillbillies in Oklahoma on accounta the fact that there ain't much hill country in Okalahoma and also, of course, while hillbillies are rural folk from hill country by definition, by tradition they are also specifically from Appalachian hill country, which, I am going to surprise you now, DOES NOT INCLUDE OKLAHOMA.
Look, I get it. Geography has been REALLY HARD for racist Americans ever since Andrew Jackson decided that Oklahoma and Florida were basically the same and therefore a little forced short walk (don't call it a march!) over to OK would be just the thing to make all those indigenous Florida Americans feel right at home.
I understand that without access to atlases and such, figuring out where Oklahoma is and whether it is hill country might be a bit hard for you. But atlases are books, and books are not allowed in Florida, and as far as you know you might be in Florida right now, so you'll probably just have to live in ignorance on a lot of this.
Still, if you can remember one thing out of this, it's that "hillbillies" is classwarfarelibelz that you don't even understand, so best just set that word aside for, say, the rest of your life.
𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 ‘𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘎𝘺𝘮
𝘛𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘮.
𝘏𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘮𝘱 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘵,
𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘢-𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘪𝘯’ 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘵.