Joe Biden Gonna Beat The Fascists With One Hand While Eating An Ice Cream Cone In The Other

MAGA is already running scared.

President Joe Biden is running for re-election — thank God! — and he's already dropped his first official, barn-raising campaign ad, which will air in 15 different TV markets in six key states: Arizona, Georgia, Michigan, Nevada, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin.

Here's how the "Meet the Press" Twitter account, with its Chuck fully up its Todd, described the spot: "President Biden’s re-election campaign is doubling down on its opening message warning that Americans’ freedoms are under attack by so-called 'MAGA Republicans' with its first TV ad of the 2024 race."

"Doubling down" technically means strengthening your commitment to a strategy that is either risky or misguided. But Americans’ freedoms are still under attack by an unhinged authoritarian movement posing as a political party. This is like saying FDR was “doubling down” on his "Stop Hitler" message. Also, Biden launched his re-election campaign on Tuesday. I’m glad he’s sticking with his opening message a full day later. I prefer presidents who aren’t fickle: "Did I say MAGA was an existential threat? Well, I slept on it, and I think they’re more a mild annoyance. Carry on."

 Let's watch the ad:  

“Joe Biden’s first ad is really, really good.”

— Rich Luchette (@Rich Luchette) 1682514014 

PREVIOUSLY: Joe Biden Running For President ... Again 

“As the sun rises, we raise the flag,” the narrator says, specifically referring to the US flag, not the insurrectionist Confederate or MAGA flags. “… a symbol of all that we hold most dear as Americans — courage, opportunity, democracy, freedom. They’re the values and beliefs that built this country and still beat in our hearts. But they’re under attack by an extreme movement that seeks to overturn elections, ban books, and eliminate a woman’s right to choose.”

This is plain-spoken, heartfelt, and to the point. Biden doesn’t back away from the stakes and doesn’t try to paint a rosy picture of the past few years. He doesn't even have to say Donald Trump's name, just show footage of violent mobs attacking the Capitol while waving flags bearing that bastard's name.

Polls have shown that “MAGA” has become a toxic term, less popular than Republicans in general. It might seem like we’re cutting Republicans too much slack by distinguishing the MAGA movement from the Republican Party, considering the former runs the latter, but actual Republicans are unable to distance themselves from the MAGA brand or reject Donald Trump, the inevitable nominee. Biden has kindly forged MAGA into an anchor that will sink the entire Republican Party.

One thing I especially like about this ad and the 2020 Biden campaign ads is that his vision of a folksy, traditional, salt-of-the-Earth America is effortlessly inclusive and diverse. The barber, the factory worker … they are minorities and women. Yes, we see white men, as well. Uncle Joe hasn’t forgotten about them, either.

“Joe Biden has made defending our basic freedoms the cause of his presidency,” the ad declares. This includes the freedom for people to choose an abortion and for children to attend schools with more books than guns. "The freedom to vote and have your vote counted,” because that’s also under assault.

“In small towns and big cities, we raise our heads, our eyes, our hearts for America, for the idea of this great country. Joe Biden is running for re-election to make certain that the sun will not set on this flag. The promise of American democracy will not break.”

Damn, this is like the trailer for a superhero movie. Joe Biden will return in … Get Off My Lawn, Fascists! They need to film some footage with Biden for post-credit scenes in Guardians of the Galaxy   Vol. 3 and The Marvels .

Of course, MAGA feels very put out by all this soaring rhetoric. Brian Kilmeade, filling in for the somehow absent (?) Tucker Carlson, complained Tuesday that Biden is running a “divisive” campaign. Fox News earlier claimed that Biden had abandoned any attempt at unity. Of course, in reality, Biden’s message is consistent with who he’s always been. He believes in the best of America and appreciates all Americans, but he’s also resolute in the face of anti-Democratic extremism. Fox News fills most of its programming with rants about how Biden is senile but also a diabolical mastermind who wants to make cops dance in pink tutus while violent gangs ravage our cities. They won’t even call him “president,” which he is and will remain so while Trump is busy dodging multiple criminal charges.

Meanwhile, the Republican National Committee predictably ran an ad that is actually divisive. Using creepy AI technology, it presents a “nightmare” scenario where Biden wins re-election and the world promptly descends further into hell. International tensions escalate! Crime worsens! Don’t get us started about canine and feline living conditions.

The terrified narrator asks, “What if weakest president we’ve ever had wins re-election?” Look, if Biden keeps beating your fascist strongman, maybe he’s more a political Ali than Jerry Quarry.

Keep it up, Joe. I like where this is going.

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