Joe Biden Up Six Points (22 With Women), And That's Before The Pentagon Even Activates Taylor Swift!
What? All the conspiracy theories are true, obviously.
Look, loser Dean Phillips and the mainstream Beltway media that can’t stop bitching about Joe Biden being too old and, again, loser Dean Phillips!
It’s a poll!
Look, Donald Trump!
It says Joe Biden’s winning!
It says he’s winning by six points nationwide! It’s 50-44!
Joe Biden has Democrats 96 to two!
Which is better than Trump’s 91 to seven Republican lead!
Joe Biden has independents 52 to 40!
It says Joe Biden is winning women by 22 points AKA 58 to 36!
Considering all this, the poll says Dean Phillips should go rub his dick in hell!
Just kidding no it doesn’t!
Quinnipiac didn’t ask if he should do that!
An honest oversight, we are certain!
But it’s really time for him to get out of the goddamned way, please and thanks!
(The poll also has a whole section about Biden v. Nikki Haley, who does better against Biden than Trump does. But she ain’t gonna be the nom unless something truly crazy happens, so fuck writing about dat.)
This is why MAGA is so scared of Taylor Swift, even before she’s been activated.
Just wait until the Pentagon and the Deep State and Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden and the Illuminati lay hands on Taylor Swift and speak that secret incantation “Look What You Made Me Do” and imbue her with the all the powers of God and Jesus and give her the nuclear codes and Dark Brandon is fused with Dark Taylor and they use all that power to tell Americans to write Joe Biden’s name in their Blank Space.
Just wait until the CIA does the Taylor Swift brainwashings to all American women, so they will run, not walk, to the voting booth to tell Donald Trump how they know All Too Well that they are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together with him.
Just wait until Satan reveals himself as the real president who’s been hiding behind Dark Brandon’s eyes this whole time.
It’s gonna be a Cruel Summer for Donald Trump when he finds out who the Mastermind of all this really is. Oh, the Karma.
Ohhhhhhh these Illicit Affairs! Who’s pulling this Invisible String? ‘Tis The Damn Season to find out!
This Is Me Trying to end this blog post, guess we’ll just Shake It Off right now.
… Ready For It?
The end. (Taylor’s Version.)
P.S., if you read this post out loud, you have helped to manifest Taylor’s power. Well done, her good and faithful servant!
OPEN THREAD.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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Most of the time I just use all-purpose flour, because it is easy and I like to make both bread AND cookies.
But the truth is that pizza dough really is better when made with bread flour (which I have had sitting around for a few weeks since I bought some for my big bagel-making project, which I knew wouldn't work without bread flour).
I think I'm gonna stop with the all-purpose flour and just buy bread flour normally. I don't bake cookies that often, and if I need to use extra storage space for pastry flour, that is what I will do. My kitchen is small, but it is big enough for this. If I have to, I'll just stop buying green vegetables to save space. Who needs green vegetables when you have cookies and pizza?
The Republicans walked out of the Oregon lege to prevent the large Dem majority from voting on bills at all. (Dems could never win a vote and enact a liberal policy if there were no votes to begin with.)
Voters in Oregon were understandably upset that Republicans were running not to represent their own districts, but to prevent representation from ANY district. We/they passed Measure 113 which does the incredibly stupid thing which should not be necessary of setting up an "un/excused absences" system, where a legislator is banned from reelection if they miss more than 10 days unexcused.
It was written in a way that if you squint really hard and will yourself to see it, you can kinda see how the law might say that if you miss 10 days in the current term, you can serve again in the next term, but are banned from serving the term after that. Thus, of course, some selfish Republican idiots went and got themselves banned but insisted that no, the ban doesn't kick in for an extra 2 years.
Their objection went to the Oregon State Supreme Court.
The OSSC has just now rendered its decision, siding with the state's position that these stupid GOP losers are stupid losers who lost, stupidly. NICE TIMES!