375 Comments
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Nancy Spider's avatar

I would like to speak out on behalf of the raccoons of the country, who resent being portrayed as imbecilic as any of these stupidhead co-conspirators. To call them "raccoon-brained" is to elevate them to a level of intelligence that they have not attained, let alone even glimpsed in their conspiracy circles of hell. Frankly, if we are positive that if we had opposable thumbs we would have beat you humans to the moon, especially if it's made of green cheese.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

"...crazy assfaced fuckface."

I believe the first faced is redundant and destroys the natural rhythm of the insult. I would like to humbly proffer "crazy ass fuckface," as more flowing with no loss of accuracy.

AboveTheGrayFog's avatar

He would like to be on the pardon list if it is still in the works, unfortunately he's the one who is in the works.

zb23's avatar

the best part about asking to be on a "pardon list" is that a pardon is only relevant if you are convicted of a crime. if there is no crimin' happening then a pardon isn't needed. by even asking for a pardon you are admitting crimes are happening that you could be convicted for.

seems a law talking person would know this?

House of the Blue Lights's avatar

It's kinda chilling how these guys did all the crimes right out in public, and then talked about it right out in public and then got indicted and are STILL TALKING ABOUT IT RIGHT OUT IN PUBLIC. The level of entitlement that takes, just,jfc

The Horned Tulip God's avatar

And are still like "crime? What crime? I never said anything about doing crimes!"

AlanInSF's avatar

...if Fanni Ellis even is her real name.

CambridgeKnitter's avatar

It isn't. You have too many "n"s in it.

Tina Mouse's avatar

“this so-and-so”

I have not heard that since my grandmother died. Good call.

Les Bontemps's avatar

Who among us hasn't decided we should be on the pardon list, if that is still in the works?

Mx.le Maerin's Luxury Comedy's avatar

That's kinda the whole point of Christianity when you get right down to it..

Doug Langley's avatar

Remember the good ole days when lawyers told their clients to SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP? Now we have clients and lawyers and the coffee boy running to Fox and blabbing away.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

When the hammer came down on Watergate, all the press got was terse nonresponses from the attorneys.

bjkeefe's avatar

LSHIJPAL is soooo much better than IJBOL.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

“I’ve decided that I should be on the pardon list, if that is still in the works?”

that's a rather unique way of RSVPing.

meh's avatar

doG, I hate Eastman and Chesebrough with the fire of a thousand suns.

I want their punishment to be appropriate for treason, and instead they'll probably get country-club prison.

Tina Mouse's avatar

We should send them extremely dry feminist tomes. LOL.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

I was astonished to see Ingraham admit that so far she hasn't seen any evidence of voter fraud. Ten to one the lawyers told her, and the rest of the Fox nitwits, to say that.

meh's avatar

They really don't want to get sucked into the RICO thing, and I would guess that several of them are very nearly involved.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

Plus they're still fighting Smartmatic and a few others over their election coverage, IIRC.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

One of the problems inherent in building a mammoth juggernaut intent on taking over complete control of the world, there are so many moving parts.

Crankyman's avatar

Today we are all peeing peerers.

Rhizolith Reborn's avatar

I think the "Is you takin' notes . . ." memes are going to get a real workout before this is all over.

Whatwhomever's avatar

He challenged them to find a single piece of evidence, which is impossible because there is in fact a giant mountain of evidence, not a single piece.

satch's avatar

Can we just pick a few favorites?

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

There's still some gems in there, but you got to go deep.

Rhizolith Reborn's avatar

Well, dismissals and mistrials all around then!