We’ve had a visit this morning with one raccoon-brained Trump coup-plotting lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, indicted in Georgia and being investigated by Special Counsel Jack Smith, who’s very curious how drunk Giuliani has been during all the election-stealing and Republic-overthrowing.
Now let’s go find another raccoon-brained Trump coup-plotting lawyer. Oh hi, John Eastman! The one who is like Will Ferrell’s Harry Caray, but without the charm or sex appeal.
Eastman had an important legal interview last night on Fox News with Laura Ingraham, where he issued a hilariously deranged challenge.
Ingraham explained that in the RICO case in Georgia, they’d have to prove “bad faith” by the defendants, as if that’s a steep hill to climb when the RICO conspiracy in question is a coordinated effort to overturn an election to keep a white Republican fascist in power. (Ingraham did funny quote fingers and referred to it as a “RICO conspiracy, according to this Fani Willis.” You know how 652-year-old white racists say “this so-and-so” when they describe Black people or disrespectful teenagers they don’t want you hanging out with.)
And she noted they’d have to find evidence of the co-conspirators “all basically agreeing — implicitly, explicitly — that you all knew this was phony and that your decision amongst yourselves was to advance the plan to overturn the election.”
And John Eastman was like whaaaaaaaat?
And the line that made the whole internet laugh last night was “I challenge them to find a single email or communication that supports that implausible theory!”
LMAO ROFL LSHIJPAL*!
What about the one where Eastman asked Mike Pence’s lawyer Greg Jacob to get Pence to literally break the law, and acknowledged in his request that it was a breaking of the law. Just “one more minor violation,” he said!
They had been arguing all day, namely the day of January 6, a pretty famous day, the day of a big terrorist attack against the Capitol in support of the thing Eastman and his co-conspirators were trying to make happen. “Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege,” Jacob emailed Eastman at 12:14 p.m. that day.
Later that night, once the Electoral Count Act had been violated, that’s when Eastman said OK do one more little law-breaky? “I ask for you to consider one more relatively minor violation and adjourn for 10 days to allow the legislatures to finish their investigations, as well as to allow a full forensic audit of the massive amount of illegal activity that has occurred here."
So that’s one. And then there are all these coup-plotting memos. They seem important.
“I challenge them to find a single email or communication that supports that implausible theory!”
LMAO. Go to prison, crazy assfaced fuckface.
Hey, remember that time Eastman emailed Rudy Giuliani after the Capitol terrorist attack to say, “I’ve decided that I should be on the pardon list, if that is still in the works?” Fani Willis and Jack Smith and God remember.
Elsewhere in the interview Eastman told Ingraham that he had seen all kinds of evidence of fraud in the 2020 election, and Ingraham agreed that she’d like to see some, because of how she hasn’t seen any. “And I’m always wanting to see everything,” she said. “So, I haven’t seen that evidence. And I’d love to see that evidence.” (Her network paid a voting machine company a lot of money because of all the lying it did about evidence of fraud!)
In related news, before last night’s interview, the last time Ingraham and Eastman appeared so close together was when they both signed a letter as former clerks of Clarence Thomas saying how much integrity that guy has.
Yes, Clarence Thomas.
Integrity.
That’s it, that’s the joke.
*Laughing So Hard I Just Peed A Little
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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OT: Oh shit, my heartbeat needs to return to normal.
I got to work just in time for my assistant to tell me the CEO needed to talk to me urgently.
I called.
CEO: It has come to the board's attention that you have been taking on new responsibilities as our housing projects grow and you train people to help manage them, so we are changing you job title and giving you a raise. Your new title is Clinical Director and Director of Housing Projects. (I was just Clinical Director before.)
(I'm really happy they haven't noticed that I've completely given up on crisis calls because of my health. But, I still train people, so I guess that's a wash.)
Thanks for the heart attack. Oh, and don't get excited. This is nonprofit, so the raise isn't life changing.
Relive Eric Herschmann's glorious 1/6 hearing testimony:
https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2022/06/15/cheney-releases-january-6-video-eric-herschmann-eastman-sot-ac-vpx.cnn
EH to Eastman: "Are you out of your fucking mind? The only words I want to hear coming out of your mouth are "orderly transition." Also, I'm going to give you the best free legal advice you've ever gotten - get yourself a good fucking criminal attorney."
I'm not sure why anyone as innocent as Eastman would need a good fucking criminal attorney, but whatevs!