326 Comments

SMOKIN’!

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“It’s complicatamated.”

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One of my favorite bits of American history is that after the Civil War had been going on for a while, rich Southerners were able to pay their way out of it. I've also always enjoyed knowing that white trash was fighting to make sure that their betters retained the right to make money by owning other people. I guess the white trash was always aspirational, and assumed some day THEY would be wealthy, kind of like the current crop of white trash that votes for the GQP.

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You can make fun of Haulin' Ass Hawley all you want, but his next book , based upon the book Lincoln wrote about his struggles while he was in jail will set you all right.

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(the air is filled with the jungle throb of dicks-that's really what he wanted to write.)

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I believe Abraham Lincoln put it best when he said: "Misattributing quotes to famous people is a time-honored American tradition that predates the internet. And I should know--not only am I a lawyer in real life, but I also play one on TV!"

That last part might actually have been said originally by Morgan Freeman, though. It's hard to tell without "tittle sprinkles" tacked on at the end.

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now I want some Fritos :(

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or alternatively: "pickin' up peenerz, put them in your pocket" if you want to continue the alliteration

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Why not both?

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not like Tim the Enchanter who knows much that is hidden.

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I heard that sometimes if you poke them in the tummy, it will protrude. Oh wait, that's for gerbils. Nevuh mind.

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I thought that was Garrett Morris auditioning for Gigi.

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You sweet summer child. You think he'd fight fair?

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Run away! Run away!

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LOL. Not at all, in my experience.

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A lot of them were converted to fire anti-tank guided missiles through the gun barrel, so "mobile lightly armoured ATGM launchers". Not sure how effective those old ATGMs would be now, though

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