Would somebody, anybody, please, PLEASE tell Kanye West to sit down.
Everyone’s favorite rapping antisemite is back in the news again this week because he issued an apology for that whole thing last year when he proudly announced that he loved Hitler and that he was going to go “death con 3” on Jewish people and accused The Artist Formerly Known As Puff Daddy Combs of being controlled by the Jews and just generally made enough of an antisemitic ass of himself that even Alex Jones was like, Dude, take it down a notch.
So this apology. Ye posted it on Instagram. Let’s take a look:
Sweet Jesus at his bar mitzvah. Ye, bubbe, the first language of American Jews is not Hebrew, it’s English. Lots of us can read it when it’s in a prayer book and someone thoughtfully adds the vowels, but we’re not fluent. We can’t translate it on sight. We weren’t all born in Tel Aviv General. The assumption that we can all read Hebrew is itself a form of antisemitism because it’s setting American Jews apart from their actual native land.
BEFORE!
Now if you want to post your apology in Yiddish, that might at least be funny.
For the record, here’s the English translation, according to The New York Times:
“It was not my intention to offend or demean, and I deeply regret any pain I may have caused. I am committed to starting with myself and learning from this experience to ensure greater sensitivity and understanding in the future. Your forgiveness is important to me, and I am committed to making amends and promoting unity.”
Okay, fine. Ye has apologized and will be more sensitive in the future! After his next album comes out, anyway:
The rapper’s next album, “Vultures,” is set to be released on Jan. 12 after a delay. On its title track, Ye raps that he cannot be antisemitic because he had sex with a Jewish woman.
Sweet lox in a box. And the Times manages to undersell the lyrics:
How I’m anti-Semitic? I just fucked a Jewish bitch.
I just fucked Scooter’s bitch and we ran her like the Olympics.
Got pregnant in the threesome, so who’s baby is it?
“Scooter” is Scooter Braun, Ye’s manager with whom he had a falling out last year. Braun is Jewish and his grandparents survived Auschwitz and Dachau. Braun’s now-ex-wife is also Jewish.
PREVIOUSLY!
So here is the not-at-all-anti-Semitic Ye claiming that he cuckolded his Jewish manager by banging his Jewish (ex-) wife and knocking her up, thus bringing all sorts of religious anxiety and racial panic into the conversation.
There is no word on the most important question facing America, which is whether Ye will once again try to run a spoiler campaign for president like he did in 2020. There was a time when that would have been enough for MAGA to adopt him, but it’s hard to know how well the anti-Semitism goes over this time around, when Republicans have suddenly found bigotry against Jews to be bad.
Also, seeing as how there are already plenty of ratfuckers in the race, Ye might find the field is too crowded for one of his stature.
At least someone is giving him a pass, and of course it’s the Anti Defamation League, because of course it is:
“After causing untold damage by using his vast influence and platform to poison countless minds with vicious antisemitism and hate, an apology in Hebrew may be the first step on a long journey toward making amends to the Jewish community and all those who he has hurt,” a spokesman said in an email.
Note to the ADL: You’re not helping.
Anyway, we’ll mark down January 13 as the day Ye’s going to start with the sensitivity and learning about the Jews and whatnot.
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I remember him harassing Taylor Swift at that awards show (and being cheered on by shitheads like Michael Harriot). Now she's the most popular pop star on the planet, and he's a pariah. Sometimes life 𝘪𝘴 fair.
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
Maya Angelou
I heard you loud and clear Kanye. I believed you then. I still believe you.
Fuck off pissant.