American politics have reached a new frontier in the “unskew the polls” trope thanks to Kari Lake, the Arizona newscaster-turned-desperately-thirsty-politician with an ever-ready supply of Vaseline to smear on the nearest camera lens.
Lake is likely to lose her run for a Senate seat in Arizona to Ruben Gallego. Gallego has assembled a broad coalition that includes Arizona Republicans who loathe Lake’s MAGA aesthetic and her toadying to Donald Trump, on whom she has modeled pretty much her entire shtick since she entered politics. Gallego has consistently run five points or more ahead of Lake in the polls for several months now.
But what Gallego doesn’t know about his polls — what nobody knows — is that Kari Lake has a secret weapon to improve her internal poll numbers. And the name of that secret weapon? AI.
Okay, you may be asking yourself, but how exactly does AI give a campaign internal polls that are better for the candidate? And the answer is, uh, AI! Somehow!
“We’re ahead of my opponent, and I feel comfortable with our polling,” she insisted. “Our polling is a little different. We take polling, but we also combine it with AI, which reads all of what’s happening on social media and across the Internet.”
Do you have any idea what that means? Of course not. No one does. It’s meaningless bullshit. It’s the Internet equivalent of Peggy Noonan in 2012 convincing herself Mitt Romney was cruising to victory because she’d seen lots of yard signs for him in Florida.
Lake might as well be reading chicken entrails or tarot cards. This card of a skeleton squinting at its Apple Watch indicates a great upswell of support on Threads, therefore I’m cruising to victory.
POLITICO did not push Lake on the subject, which probably would have resulted in some hilarious stumbling and grasping for words. Instead the reporter simply pointed out all the actual signs that Lake is going to lose. Traditional signs such as money raised, campaign ads on the air, Gallego-supporting Republicans not disguising their contempt for the candidate who once told all the state’s GOP supporters of revered former Senator John McCain to fuck all the way off, etc. etc:
“When Kari Lake invited all of the McCain people to get the hell out of the room, we did, last election. And I think that we’re still there,” said Deb Gullett, a devoted former aide to McCain. Gullett said Lake had never reached out to her.
Instead, Gullett is campaigning with Gallego. She recently joined him in Phoenix at the home of Robin Shaw, the co-chair of the state’s Republicans for Harris chapter, alongside Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) and a dozen or so other Republicans and independents for a chat about the importance of crossing party lines.
Lake based her Establishment-rejecting persona on Trump’s, but she always seemed unaware of a fact that has eluded better MAGA politicians than she: There is only one Donald Trump, and no one else can get away with the shit he gets away with. He’s sui generis.
One would think Lake might have noticed at some point that Trump’s act only works up to a point. Certainly losing the multiple legal challenges she was still mounting six months after she lost the 2022 gubernatorial election might have clued her in to the likelihood that being a Donald Trump clone was not a winning strategy.
Lake does have her defenders. The Pima County GOP Chair told POLITICO that Lake is “powerfully charismatic,” but her “abrasive” style turned people off. He added, showing all sorts of societal awareness that one does not normally see in a Republican, “Women get judged differently and I know it’s not fair.”
Lake rejected that view:
“Bullshit. That’s just crazy woke talk,” Lake said. “I don’t speak that language. I’m not voting based on somebody’s genitalia. I don’t give a shit about that. I care about what you stand for.”
Kari Lake, the first Republican this entire cycle to say she’s not interested in other people’s genitalia.
[POLITICO]
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Today's election interference story: We dispatched a Hazmat Engine and Hazmat Medic to the County Elections Division. They received some mail in ballots covered in fecal matter and urine. Under supervision of the election Divisions staff, we opened the envelopes, placed them in clear biohazard bags, disinfected the bags and the poll workers are confirming the voter is registered. County sheriff officers have started an investigation and will probably test said fecal matter and urine for DNA and fingerprints. I really hopes this ends in a FAFO story.
Billionaire Home Depot cofounder and MAGAdonor Bernard “Bernie” Marcus has died at age 95. Thankfully, there are no Mexicans looking for work in Hell's parking lot.
Also too, Jimmy Carter still alive.