Kash Patel Is Daddy's Helper! He's Helping With Lindsey Graham Stuff! And Finding The Leakers! And! And! And!
Look, Daddy! Look! Daddy, Look! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Look, Daddy! Daddy, Look!
Bless Kash Patel’s poor loser girl-jacket-wearin’ heart, he’s trying to impress Big Father again.
O rly? What precisely is the FBI assisting with, Ka$h Kan’t Katch Kriminals?
What’s pathetic about this is that it probably stands to reason that the FBI might be on speed dial any time a senator dies so suddenly, especially the day after they were in Ukraine, what with it being quite close to both Russia and Iran. But you know who doesn’t need to make an announcement about that on Twitter? The director of the FBI.
Of course we are talking about needy unqualified loser Kash Patel and his desperate need to prove to Daddy that he’s doing a good job, so …
Look, Daddy! I found a bullet at the crime scene! It says TRANSGENDURRRRRR DID IT! and ICE IS STINKY! I’m putting it in the pocket of my girl jacket for further investigation! Also we arrested somebody! Oops not the guy. Arrested somebody again! Oops not the guy. Daddy look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
Look, Daddy!
Look! Arrested somebody again!
Oops not the guy.
The latest reports suggest that Graham died of an aortic tear. It’s no bueno, clearly.
However, as the Daily Beast notes, MAGA is going buckwild with conspiracy theories about what really happened, and whenever two or more buckwild conspiracy theories are gathered together in a room, chances are lunatic Kash Patel will find his way into that room before long.
Is it wildly irresponsible for the FBI director to be making tweets like this? Why yes! But Kash Patel is too stupid to know how stupid he is, too unqualified to know how unqualified he is, and too desperate for Daddy’s approval to do anything besides constantly slurp and snot for Daddy’s approval with performative tweets like these.
The obvious question here is whether this relates specifically back to three days ago, when Kash’s ass reportedly got hauled into the principal’s office yet again for completely sucking at life and being a total douchebag. He was supposed to be going on the FBI jet on Friday to see his alleged country music girlfriend make alleged music in Chicago, but the White House was reportedly like um no bitch, you get your ass back here.
MS NOW reported that “several people said top Trump deputies were disturbed by a range of actions by Patel,” and that “Some found it confounding that the FBI director was leaving town amid the recent revival of the war with Iran and alleged threats against the president’s life.”
And then there was:
Others cited two unforced errors by Patel that created bad optics for the Trump administration, the first being his early morning tweet bashing MS NOW for its coverage of his high-flying lifestyle, they said, in which Patel boasted: “my jet ski is gold plated…dumbass.”
The second misstep, the people said, was that extensive reports by MS NOW and other news outlets about taxpayers footing the bill for Patel’s globe-trotting ultimately spurred formal questions from Senate Judiciary Chairman Chuck Grassley, a critical ally of President Trump’s.
Oh yeah! Do you know what a fucking failure you have to be to get your ass handed to you during the Reign of Trump by Chuck Grassley? That happened!
The 92-year-old Republican senator asked directly: “For each trip where you used an FBI aircraft for personal travel, have you reimbursed the FBI as required by law? If yes, please provide the records.”
The Senate Judiciary Committee chairman also demanded that Patel explain why he had “decided to purchase BMW vehicles instead of Chevy Suburbans.”
Also people within the FBI were reportedly pissed off about the Chicago trip Patel was literally steps away from taking, so that he could go throw his panties onstage at his girlfriend’s concert:
“Patel was coming (to Chicago) today for a fake office visit for his girlfriend’s country concert this weekend,” one of the sources briefed on the trip said. The source noted Patel “cancelled the trip while on the tarmac at Andrews” and was “summoned to the White House immediately,” adding that it was “apparent panic” and “believed to be in response to his morning tweet today.”
Did y’all know Ka$h calls his girlfriend a “country music sensation”? Take as long as you need to laugh at him about that.
Anyway, there’s much more at that MS NOW link about what thin ice Ka$h has been on, is always on, because he’s such a fucking piece of shit, even by the debased standards of this regime. Lots of background, much of which you know, some you might not, etc., read it when you’re done here.
Of course, the White House went into super-pathetic-lying mode when news started to leak that Kash had to cancel his planned trip on the FBI jet to go place his peni$ atop a “country music sensation,” to instead be hauled into Daddy’s office for a spanking. How very dare the media suggest that the White House was flipping its shit over Kash’s tweet about gold-plated jetskis!
“Nobody was frustrated. In fact, we’ll start boosting and promoting his earlier tweet even more,” Rapid Response 47 posted.
“There has been no frustration over his tweet this morning. I reposted his tweet. Other White House officials reposted his tweet. Him calling MSNOW dumb---es is an accurate description of their sh--ty reporting,” White House Communications Director Steven Cheung wrote.
Bless Steven Cheung’s heart, that’s the one they’re always reportedly worried is going to keel over at any moment. Also, like Kash Patel, he is only and always performing for Daddy’s approval. It’s all very embarrassing.
And now it’s being reported that during Kash’s spanking, and we guess in order to preserve Daddy’s love, Kash was ordered that day to investigate whoever is leaking facts to the New York Times about Daddy’s Qatari bribe plane that humiliated Daddy, things about how Daddy was lying about why the Secret Service wouldn’t allow Daddy to ride on his new Qatari bribe plane back from Turkey because of so-called security issues.
They made Kash work at the White House on this on Friday, for hours. At the end of that day, subpoenas went out to several New York Times reporters, directly to their houses, because that’s what happens when the US regime is just a bunch of little Temu tyrants. The reporters are being demanded to testify before a grand jury on July 15, which is Wednesday.
In a statement, David McCraw, The Times’s top newsroom lawyer, said, “This brazen act should be seen as nothing more than an attempt to prevent the public from knowing what is happening in their country by intimidating journalists from doing their jobs.”
Is Kash a good boy now? Is Kash the bestest FBI director in girl jacket ever? Look at Kash, doing what Daddy likes! Daddy! Look! Look!
Daddy look!
Look!
Ka$h can investigate the New York Times AND be a good helper for Lindsey Graham’s death investigation that may or may not be going on, which Ka$h probably isn’t supposed to talk about!
But Daddy look!
[MS NOW / Daily Beast archive / Daily Beast archive / New York Times]
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Every picture of him in a suit looks like he's desperately trying to avoid drowning in it, like the shirt collar is the waterline and he's aware that at any moment, without continued effort, he's going under.
OT: I was wondering who was going to figure out how to get to the overhead at the Workstation. Lewis figured it out first today. Clark Monster was watching him from below so now he knows it's possible to get up there I figure they will both be up there by tomorrow.
The short focal length lens makes Lewis look like a caracature of himself.
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!teZ-!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fmedia_upload%2Fcomment%2F7f19f614-4887-4166-8398-bbec02ca0959%2Fc6e66884-123d-4670-83ef-efddf9d02ee5.jpeg
Just after I took this pic, Lewis jumped down and landed on my gut scaring the tar out of me. Then he immediately went back up there and jumped down on me again for some reason.