360 Comments

Noem shot herself in the foot by killing Cricket and the goat. She should just pull the trigger and resign now because it's not going to get any better for her.

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She won't resign precisely because she knows it's not going to get any better for her. After her term is up, she'll need to find either a real job or a sucker who will pay her to do nothing. Why should she be in a rush to bring that on?

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I expect that you're correct on this. But I can always hope that she will copy Sarah Palin and resign unexpectedly.

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Okay, I hate Greg Gutfield, but "not yet he hasn't," is a legit funny joke

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Ta, Evan. Beloved fiancé Meccalopolis and are are starting a food garden, but apart from some garlic seed we have yet to put anything in the ground. The rule of thumb for our piece of the Catskills is plant nothing until Memorial Day; snow is still a possibility. Noem is a terrible liar; snow in the Paha Sapa is no excuse. The POS governor lives and works in Pierre (which isn't pronounced like the French name for Peter, but like peer).

ETA: I refer to it as our food garden; Meccalopolis calls it our FARM. It's his right; he owns a tractor.

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May 9·edited May 9

I crave a tractor with the heat of a thousand suns. But by the time I turned it around in my garden I’d have to turn it around again.

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May 9Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

"Yes, in May."

this was my house on monday... https://imgur.com/a/A9faKx3

actually got even worse in the afternoon with tons of big cartoony snowflakes coming down. it was pretty much all melted off again by tuesday though.

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If you're a white conservative person, and you find yourself the butt of Greg Gutfeld's jokes, you are definitely doing something wrong with your life.

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Even with (for once) a target that makes sense like Noem, it was painful to watch Gutfeld deliver his one-liners heavy-handedly, then wait for the laugh. The man has no more comic timing than a six-year-old.

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i don't know. that live laugh track is pretty off-putting.

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What's interesting IMO is that Hannity and that Newsmax nitwit stuck up for Noem at the very beginning. Then Trump turned on her, and that was all she wrote. It's really scary to see how beholden they are to that man.

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If Trump never told the J6 insurrectionists to go home, they'd still be in the Capitol smearing shit on the walls.

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But keep listening because, after the commercial break, we’ll debuting the new single “Dead Cricket will have Her Revenge on Kristi Noem.”

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Damn. Shooter Noem must present in private as a really really really unpleasant person such that others in the conservaturd KKKlan gleefully go after her in public, locked and loaded with this kind of full on snark.

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That's just the way sharks behave when a member of the pack starts bleeding.

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May 9·edited May 9

I think that those of us who live in the city and state of New York should file a lawsuit against her for defllling out fine lands with her presence.

I am aware that there are a number of fine dog kennels in the Hudson Valley where she could be incarcerated where she can serve her sentence if we win the lawsuit. She will be muzzled to proetect the dogs.

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What a day it was. Kristi Noem cancelled her dog-shooting tour because of non-existent snow and gets clowned on Fox News, and it's still only the third funniest thing to happen to monstrous politicians that day. It sure would be nice if we can keep that up. Maybe courtroom sketch artists can catch Trump picking his nose while listening to testimony.

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Let's just get the soaked Singapore rattan out, restraining belts and get her down to business!

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She is basically Sarah Palin without the gravitas

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May 9·edited May 9

Wow. Did the lightbulb finally go off over her head? It took her this long to finally realize that she’s just toasted not only her VP slot but most likely her entire government career.

Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya Kkkristi.

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Don’t you wonder what world they live in where they think it’s a good idea to double down on shooting your dog?

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i feel it is a bit glossed over that she fully intended the "Hey mom... where's Cricket?" line to be a knee-slapper of a punchline.

she thought the story was *funny* and that her child losing their dog was *funny*. and she thought all the readers would think it was *funny*. i'm really curious what the line-reading for that section in the audiobook sounds like.

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TBF, anyone who would buy and read her book unironically would probably have appreciated that story.

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Curse Wonkette for making me look at Gutfeld!'s scrunched-up face, but don't you love the crawl at the bottom, fixated on the Indiana GOP primary results?

Trump: 78.3%

OTHER: 21.7%

I can imagine PAB screaming at the TV: "Get that off the air!!!1!!1! Just say that I won in a landslide!!!!!!!"

And then ketchup was thrown.

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Heinz, man. That's where to put your money.

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The truth is Fox, etc. is throwing her under the bus because she isn't the VP candidate yet. They have other losers to choose from. But if she had already been chosen, we'd be seeing a totally different response to her book. Fox would have been required to defend the puppy killing and the lie about Kim Jong-un and they would have done it with gusto. Commander would have been shredded at every opportunity along with COASTAL ELITES who don't understand how farms work. I can hear it now.

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Even more, they have a vested interest in torpedoing her career and ensuring that she will never be offered the VP slot. A woman who brags about killing a dog is a fucking awful candidate, a sure loser. Kick her and kick her hard, the Republican party needs someone inoffensive and boring!

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But Pence is off the market!

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