Kristi Noem's Aryan Mini-Me Quitting DHS, Let's Wildly Speculate Why!
Noem's top toady had a short run.
Tricia McLaughlin, the assistant secretary for public affairs at the Department of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem’s Yellow Heather, is leaving not only her job, but the whole administration.
No official explanation, so let’s speculate away!
What was the final straw for this professional Aryan liar?
Having to defend Kristi Noem reportedly trying to divert resources away from an ongoing search-and-rescue mission for a 23-year-old Coast Guard seaman who fell overboard so she could hit deportation quotas? A tongue-lashing because she was the one in charge of keeping track of Kristi Noem’s wooby? Carpal tunnel from making AI-slop white supremacist content? Or perhaps McLaughlin is going back to Ohio to make a litter of babies with her husband Ben Yoho. No reason to stick around after hubby’s shit-shining concern the Strategy Group got its $220 million no-bid nut to film Noem’s horsey-riding self-promotional ads.
McLaughlin first came to our attention in May of last year, lying to all of our faces about the events surrounding the arrest of Newark Mayor Ras Baraka and Democratic Rep. LaMonica McIver. We all saw them and Reps Bonnie Watson Coleman and Rob Menendez on video trying to do their jobs overseeing that the for-profit private Delaney detention center facility in New Jersey, reasonably wanting to make sure it was not warehousing people in a way that violated any civil or human rights, or any local building safety and sanitation codes.
And we were shocked, shocked! at the time watching McLaughlin and then-acting US Attorney for New Jersey Alina Habba trying to pass off as real a very obviously edited video and photo stills making it look like McIver shoved someone unprovoked, by giving a shoulder push to the goon in front of her.
And at the same time, the videos/photos conspicuously did not show how McIver was being moshed on from all directions by a gang of ICE thugs and railroaded from behind by a stumpy little shit in a khaki baseball hat and backpack, nor did it show the agent in a camo gaiter grabbing and pulling at her arm, which Some People might also say was assault. Rep. McIver still faces up to 17 years in prison, with a trial in May. Her! The one in red!
And oh, how that emboldened DHS to go balls out everywhere else, with the lying and the violence and the ignoring local ordinances to sardine detainees into warehouses, office buildings, swamp tents and other spaces never designed to accommodate the long-term housing, feeding and sanitary needs of residential occupants, all while locking out Congresspeople and local officials. Bet if one of these places catches on fire and there are mass casualties in, say, Baltimore City, whoever takes McLaughlin’s place will be wetting themselves to call Maryland Gov. Wes Moore, Mayor Brandon Scott, the Baltimore Fire Department’s Vulcan Blazers and every congressperson in Maryland but Andy Harris murderers for making DHS use a building made out of DEI bricks, or something.
We digress. After that, McLaughlin’s lies got only got bolder. Though probably not her lies, she was obviously repeating the DHS line every time, with emphasis entirely on getting the government version of events out first. A version that never varied, no matter the circumstances or what was recorded on video. Anyone goons punched punched them first, said the Regime,; anyone they shot driving in a moving car tried to run them over; anyone they executed with 10 shots to the back deserved it for … whatever reason.
You can see McLaughlin’s eyes get deader and deader as her bald-faced lies get more ridiculous and morally bankrupt. Say the line, Bart! Kilmar Abrego Garcia is a criminal gang member, Alex Pretti was Antifa! Sigh.
McLaughlin also claimed full responsibility for the DHS’s social media feeds, which featured white supremacist slogans like “We’ll Have our Home Again,” and Manifest Destiny memes on the DHS page. She used a neo-Nazi song in a DHS recruitment ad. She sure is mighty hip with what’s going down on that scene!
What the fuck is going on in Ohio that McLaughlin turned out like this? Her grandfather Powell McHenry was director of the Republican Club of Hamilton County, so there’s a clue, and she got a job as spokesperson for the Ohio Republican party out of college. In Trump 1.0 she was chief of staff of the Bureau of International Security and Nonproliferation, and during the Biden years she worked for Mike DeWine’s failed reelection campaign, then Vivek Ramaswamy’s campaign.
And then there she was, riding LewandNoemski’s flank. Yet it’s like we always knew her. There’s a little Tricia McLaughlin in every high school lunchroom, bully crew or corrupt power structure, Head Toady to the Queen Bitch, enforcer of Delta Gamma.
McLaughlin may be from Ohio, but she’s the spittin’ image of a Southern Belle of the pre-emancipation South. Ornamentation on top, active and eager complicity below. Just Donald Trump’s type. But while it’s always better than being on the bottom, of course, a job tending to male overseers and a morally bankrupt system has never been as fun or easy as it’s made out to be.
And that is your history moment for today.
Well, bye, Tricia McLaughlin. May the remainder of your life and beyond be all you deserve!
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McLaughlin is the Karoline Leavitt of Sean Spicer’s.
So, she told a bunch of lies, swung a 220 million dollar contract for her husband's brand new company, then dipped. Sounds like a pretty solid business plan to me. I would love to see the nda she had to sign. Something something, firstborn, something something, leopards, something something, here's 220 million, something something, have a good life on the taxpayers dime. See you in hell sister.