Ladies Crying At Kamala. Tabs, Mon., Sept. 9, 2024

Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Alexandra Petri found the Trump headline machine! Input crazy gobbledygook, and get your sane-washing! Otherwise we would have headlines like this: “Would-Be President Rambles Unintelligibly For Eighty Minutes After Promising He Would Speak About The Economy; At Intervals We Glimpsed Something In The Torrent Of Words That If Pulled Out And Dried Off Might Become A Policy Idea, So We Sent Several Guys In After It, But None Of Them Returned Alive, Except For One Guy Who Just Said ‘The Horror, The Horror’ After We Retrieved Him And He’s Now Staring Off Silently Into The Void. Is Donald Trump Entirely Well? Harris Also Delivered Remarks But Not As Many As We Wanted.” But we don’t! Yay machine! (Gift link Washington Post)

Heather Cox Richardson would have taken the night off, but then Trump was crazier than usual. In particular, he’s repeating the fantasy about schools doing surgeries on kids — when the thing that’s actually happening, school shootings, is MIA. He’s also promising the mass deportations — the only policy he’s actually got a plan for — will be a “bloody story.” (HCR)

Here is a video of ladies crying at Kamala Harris!

Shut up, fuck you, I’m not crying, you’re crying. Jimmy Carter’s son and grandson say he’s eating and talking more, and he’s so excited about Kamala Harris and he’s pretty much staying alive to VOTE. (Gift link Washington Post)

Jeff Jarvis says the story of the election is the grand coalition between Democrats and people like the Cheneys who are putting a principle in front of their tax cuts (and their careers). (Buzz Machine)

Rebecca Solnit namechecks Jarvis among others as moderates who are infuriated by the insipid failures of the mainstream media. (The Guardian)

Russia’s using AI-generated fake news websites — it’s called Doppelganger, and the plan is the Good Old USA Project — to pull in gamers and young men of all races to get Trumpercized. It’s been working! You’ve all seen the young people moving unaccountably to the Right. It’s because there is no one “the news” anymore; it’s all just bullshit and Tikkity Tock. (Wired) More on Doppelganger from Heather Cox Richardson.

A deeper read on Tucker Carlson’s new favorite Nazi. (Unpopular Front)

No, Venezuelan gangs didn’t take over Aurora, Colorado. Republican officials there are like no, it’s just a typical slumlord doing typical slumlord things, and has been since before we got all these nice immigrants. Y’all are being fake-newsed (again). (Colorado Newsline)

Would you like an explanation of just how hard Elno fucked off in Brazil? You would? Thanks, Lawfare!

Amanda Moore wrote up all the different flavors of Actual Nazis she saw protesting at the DNC. (The Baffler)

Fifth Circuit fucked over tipped workers again. (NOTUS)

From April, but an infuriating look at the specific policies that let American cars and trucks get so goddamned big — and much more lethal — on purpose, and with hefty tax credits to buy them. (Vox)

Also big! The greatest drunk (previously) on earth, Andre the Giant. (Drunkard)

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