Lay Your Burden Down. Tabs, Mon., Dec. 30, 2024

It's your last morning news roundup of the bad old year!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Housekeeping again? But we just had housekeeping last week! Well this is just to tell you that Evan is in charge of a regular lazy-ish day today, and then as per usual, your New Year’s festivities will begin at noon Eastern tomorrow, with a year-end post per hour until we blow our … confetti all over our hero at midnight. Wednesday we’ll be off, except for your friend ZiggyWiggy, who has a matinee movie lined up for you at “time.” I am up in the air on whether you’ll get morning tabs on Thursday or whether you will not get that. It is a mystery to all! (You will probably not.)

Now it’s your last morning news roundup for this bad old year!

Ten years ago I thought Jimmy Carter was dying. I was wrong. (Wonkette / Wonkette)

Statement from Joe and Jill. Cry cry cry. (White House)

What, you didn’t know about Amy Carter’s White House nanny, a wrongfully convicted not-murderer? (Time)

Jimmy Carter on Palestine and the Israeli settlements on “Democracy Now.” (Qasim Rashid)

Jimmy and the triumph of diplomacy in the Panama Canal. Fallows posted this moments before learning of the president’s death. Here’s what you need to know about the place Trump wants to invade. (James Fallows)

There will be no links to the New York Times or the Washington Post, who can fuck allllllllllll the way off. (The Times one at least was interesting though.)

With what are we charging our QAnon and incel friends today? Not terrorism! (Lawfare)

Why won’t women submit themselves to this broken MAGA heterosexuality? What a bunch of bitches! (Amanda Marcotte at Salon)

New York and New Jersey increasing their respective minimum wages like whoa, I am pretty sure that is bad somehow, boo New Jersey and New York! (NJ)

Hmmm might not be great for your baby to get COVID while you are pregnant, maybe! (Orange County Register)

Elon Musk hates Wikipedia because he keeps trying to change facts on it and they keep not letting him :( (Arc Digital)

Nashville newsman Phil Williams is a terrific human, and he is PISSED to have a MAGA target on his back. YOU LEAVE PHIL WILLIAMS ALONE. (News Channel 5)

Pahk the electric cah in the garahj. (Chase)

Were people in medieval times always drunk? What a good question, I shall discover the answer right now. (History Facts)

I liked this lady’s essay about working at Olive Garden, the greatest restaurant Donna Rose has EVER BEEN. (Buzzfeed)

My goodness, what a lot of counterfeit coupons! But I wish it was the ringleader instead of one of her minions who was named Cindi Swindle. (Charges)

Speaking of coupons, I am a big fan of Rakuten and made $1059 this year buying shit online with it. (There was a refrigerator in there.) I do not mind the lack of privacy even though I’m sure I should mind the lack of privacy. (They claim they do not sell your data, and hell, maybe they even don’t!) If you are interested, here is my referral code, and I will get $30 if you sign up and then spend $30 within a few months, okay love you, thanks for the money, bye. (Rakuten referral link)

Here is a song by my friend Chris Hanlin that I keep thinking of. I hope you enjoy.

Another fuckin year, huh? Thank you for being our friend and keeping us living forever! The button below will let you donate one time or monthly, in any amount of your choosing.

This is the button for giving us money with Venmo. It’s venmorrific!

From the comments: “Friends, I propose that all of us live out our lives as if we were President Carter himself: decent, humble, hopeful, a champion of the less fortunate, forward-thinking, and utterly despised by some of the worst fucking people who have ever lived.”