Let's Make Up Fake Ukraine History On The Sunday Shows!

We watch so you never have to.

Living in these unprecedented times. but led by morons, means they have to try to justify their authority constantly. Because without the thin veil of legitimacy, all they have left is their ideas and those are all dogshit.

Wanna see? Let’s dive right in!

Not Mullin Over Facts

We begin with the Republican senator from Oklahoma, Markwayne Mullin.

On NBC’s “Meet The Press,” host Kristen Welker tried to get Mullin to thread the needle between old GOP anti-communism/Russia rhetoric and Donald Trump’s new GOP strategy of being Vladimir Putin’s lapdog. So did he succeed?

WELKER: Senator Mullin, do you acknowledge that Vladimir Putin is responsible for starting the war in Ukraine?

MULLIN: You know, I think what President Trump was meaning – not think, I know what he was meaning – is we gave [Ukrainian President Volodymyr] Zelenskyy multiple warnings that there needed to be a negotiations before the war even started. And President Trump is absolutely correct.

Not even close!

Where were those warnings, Markwayne? Was Trump giving them when he was extorting Ukraine to force them to help him steal the 2020 election? We are just curious.

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It's Impeachment-Eve-Thirty, Motherf*ckers! Let's Remember What Trump's Ukraine Scandal Is Really All About.

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Regardless, Trump advocated arming Ukraine with US weapons after Russia failed to take Kyiv in March 2022. That very month, at a rally, Trump said this about Ukraine:

“All of those [Ukrainian] people are dead. Putin’s heinous attack on a proud and sovereign nation shocks the conscience of every person of goodwill.”

Doesn’t sound like Trump believed Ukraine was the aggressor or “ignored warnings.” Just because GOP voters have the long-term memory of goldfish doesn’t mean the rest of us do.

Welker, after playing clips of other GOP senators calling out Putin, gave Mullin a chance to respond toTrump’s lack of criticism of Putin. Mullin’s answer was as cowardly as ever.

MULLIN: I think the president's been very critical of Putin. And I'm not sitting here defending Putin. Putin's not a good guy. At the same time, that's up to the Russian people.

That’s up to the Russian people? Is there nobody in this moron’s office to brief the senator on how that’s up to the Russian people is not a statement that applies to the kinds of dictatorships Donald Trump loves?

Welker moved on to a topic closer to Mullin’s home like the effects of Elon Musk’s DOGE cuts on his constituents. If you are an Oklahoma voter, especially one who lost their career because an unelected tech bro just decided to fire you for shits and giggles, Markwayne Mullin’s attitude here should be disqualifying.

WELKER: Senator, very quickly before I let you go, the national debt is $36 trillion. DOGE is only dealing right now with the federal workers, which is only 8% of federal spending, a small fraction of the federal budget. So how do DOGE's layoffs actually deal with the debt problem?

MULLIN: Take care of your pennies, and the dollars will take care of themselves. Every business owner knows that.

I’m sure Oklahoma FAA employees (who needs those?) and federal workers at the Bureau of Indian Affairs office are so glad to be seen as expendable “pennies.”

That whopping $33,410 is really gonna help balance out things.

Mullin is the type of boss who would cut the office supply budget before actually dealing with his overpaid management salary, while preaching about “shared sacrifices.” Which is on brand for Mullin, as his financial disclosures show.

A Not So Special Envoy

Trump sent one of his billionaire donor-turned-administration officials (so many of them!), “Special Envoy” Steve Witkoff, to talk about Ukraine on CNN’s “State Of The Union” and CBS’s “Face The Nation.”

On CNN, Witkoff tried some of that revisionism that we already got on Mullin about.

WITKOFF: The war didn't need to happen. It was provoked. It doesn't necessarily mean it was provoked by the Russians. There were all kinds of conversations back then about Ukraine joining NATO. The president has spoken about this. That didn't need to happen. It basically became a threat to the Russians.

Cool victim-blaming there.

Jake Tapper, after Witkoff spoke of very specific concessions like mineral rights that Ukraine would have to make as part of a peace agreement — AKA Donald Trump’s latest criminal extortion of Ukraine in exchange for helping them not die — asked what concessions Russia would have to make. You know, because that’s usually how fair and equitable deals go. Witkoff’s answer was not very reassuring.

WITKOFF: Well, I think, in any peace deal, each side is going to make concessions, whether it's territorial concessions, whether it's economic concessions. I think there's a whole array of things that happen in a deal. And you will see concessions from both sides. […] And I think you're going to see a very successful result here.

Trump has been using the bold gambit of unilaterally giving Russia everything they want and using that as the starting point for negotiations. Art of the deal, we are sure!

On CBS, Witkoff was practically bragging about having multi-hour meetings with Putin without any intelligence officers. But toward the end, he accidentally revealed what the true motive of these “peace talks” is.

WITKOFF: But, I think that- that obviously there would be an expectation that if we get to a peace deal, that you would be able to have American companies come back and do business there. And I think that everybody would believe that that would be a positive good thing to happen.

It’s all a grift to enrich every one of these assclowns at the expense of the safety, security, and happiness of the Ukrainian (and American!) people.

Have a week.

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