Lindsey Graham Gettin' The Angry Meat Sweats For Herschel Walker Just Like He Did For Brett Kavanaugh
Uh oh here it come.
Quick, close your eyes and have a flashback to the confirmation hearings for Brett Kavanaugh. When you weren't seeing the Supreme Court nominee himself blubber and cry and whine and scream and wet his tighty whities about how unfair it was that all these people were totally credibly accusing him of sexual assault, Lindsey Graham was doing it.
Seriously, Kavanaugh was like this, and every other hilarious face he made:
And Lindsey Graham was like this, and every other hilarious face he made:
We regret to inform you that Lindsey Graham face might be on its way back, because mean Democrat media liars* are saying Herschel Walker is a hypocritical fucking dirtbag who abandons his children and pays for abortions and all kinds of other stuff.
You do not say mean things about Republican men Lindsey Graham feels compelled to protect without hearing about it from Lindsey Graham!
"If you’re waiting on the media to tell you about what’s going on in Georgia … you’re going wait a hell of a long time. Remember Kavanaugh? Remember how they played the game right at the end? They come up with some letter, take the guy, blindside, another allegation, another allegation trying to drive him out,” Graham said in an interview with Fox News’s Sean Hannity.
Insert your own heavy breathing sound effects here. And close your eyes and imagine the angry meat sweats running down Lindsey's face and armpits.
Haha, made you imagine Lindsey Graham's flowing meat sweats.
Or you can just watch the video.
“Lindsey Graham on Hannity about the Herschel Walker allegations: "Remember Kavanaugh?"”
— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1665537193
Granted, he's not absolutely losing it to the degree he did with Kavanaugh, but there are still several weeks before the election, and Lindsey Graham feels entitled to have Herschel Walker win that Senate race, so it's only going to get more hysterical between now and then.
He'll get there. Ohhhhh, he'll get there.
In the full interview, Sean Hannity and Graham whine about how these unfair attacks are only happening to Herschel Walker, and the lamestream media won't tell you about the problems with Raphael Warnock, and please give Herschel Walker all your money. Graham claims it is "two billion a week" to run ads in Georgia, and that Warnock has raised "90 billion," so he's good at numbers. As he bellyaches you can feel his temperature rising, feel his impotent rage bubbling under.
Did Lindsey Graham mention to please send money to Herschel Walker? He says none of Raphael Warnock's money is even coming from Georgia, it's coming from "THE SAME DAMN PEOPLE THAT TRIED TO DESTROY ME!"
Oooooh, that rage! It's the type of rage little boys get when they're furious but also furiously need their mommies and they're running and crying and running and crying and running and crying, desperately hoping nobody sees them running and crying.
A really good way to make Lindsey Graham's face rage completely overtake him would be for Raphael Warnock to just entirely kick Herschel Walker's broken-brained ass in a few weeks.
He will lose it on the Senate floor, and we will write a funny blog post about it, the end.
* The people who know Herschel best, like his oldest son and the ex-girlfriend whose abortion he reportedly paid for, who's also the mother of one of his forgotten children, who he also encouraged to get a second abortion, but she had to keep bugging him for the money for it.
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