Louisiana Is The Latest State To Try To Ban Non-Existent Chemtrails
Kind of love how the people who don't believe in actual climate change believe in this nonsense.
Welcome to life in the stupidest possible timeline, where the state of Louisiana is now the latest state to attempt to pass a law banning the use of chemtrails … which, you should probably know by now, are not real things that actually exist. If you are not familiar, however, the long and the short of it is that people think airplane contrails — the white stuff that comes out of airplanes when they fly — are made up of chemicals meant to do a variety of nefarious things.
The bill was introduced in the state House of Representatives last week by Republican Rep. Kimberly Landry Coates, who acknowledged the fact that it might “seem strange” to those less hep to this inanity than she is.
“This bill is to prevent any chemicals above us in the air, specifically to modify the weather,” she said, adding that “I’m really worried about what is going on above us and what is happening, and we as Louisiana citizens did not give anyone the right to do this above us.”
“Other than the nanoparticles of aluminum, what else have you found?” State Rep. Candace Newell (D-New Orleans) asked Coates.
“Barium. There is a few, some with long words that I can’t pronounce,” Coates said.
Now, you may laugh at this, but “chemicals I can’t pronounce” is a longstanding trope in anti-science bullshittery, most often found in the “clean beauty” nonsense sector. It’s supposed to make you gasp in horror, not sigh in exasperation. Basically, stupid people like to claim that you shouldn’t eat anything or use anything with “chemicals you can’t pronounce” in it, because they assume that all chemicals are bad, rather than understanding that literally everything on earth, no matter how natural, is made up of chemicals.
Like, for instance, a banana.
Some chemicals are good, some chemicals are bad. Like anything else.
“Who is doing this?” asked State Rep. Matthew Willard (D-New Orleans).
“There are multiple people. Multiple groups, contractors,” Coates said, without ever actually naming any.
“Who are the contracts with?” Willard asked.
“I’ve seen the documents with at least nine federal agencies,” Coates said.
Now, surely, if you or I were to really believe in this shit and introduce a bill, we would have brought in some of these contracts, some kind of evidence showing that what we said is true. Not Kimberly Landry Coates, whose only evidence is “Trust me, bro.” But hey! She sees them all of the time so it must be true, right?
“(Do you see them) once a week?” asked State Rep. C. Denise Marcelle (D-Baton Rouge).
“At least, yes — from my house all the way to the Capitol. So when you look up in the air, you look, watch for the big white lines across the sky,” Coates said.
“So once a week you see people releasing stuff in the air on the way to the Capitol? So I just need to look up? I probably haven’t been looking up,” Marcelle, who I hope will be my new best friend, said.
To be fair, she probably does see those white lines. I see them, too! They’re called contrails. They are what happens when the hot air from the plane hits the cold air. Of course, there are now a bunch of people out there who don’t believe in jet fuel, so I can see how that might seem a bit sus to them.
The bill itself states that no person shall:
Intentionally inject, release, apply, or disperse, by any means, a chemical, chemical compound, substance, or apparatus into the atmosphere within the borders of this state for the express purpose of affecting the temperature, weather, climate, or intensity of sunlight. The provisions of this paragraph shall not apply to the injection, release, or dispersal under one thousand feet above ground level of fire retardant or fire suppressant substances for purposes of extinguishing or suppressing fire, or to the aerial application under one thousand feet above ground level of seeds, fertilizers, or pesticides for agriculture or forestry
Not only did the bill pass, but legislators added amendments to it requiring the Louisiana Department of Environmental Quality to record chemtrail sightings and complaints from residents and report them to the National Guard. If it is signed by Gov. Jeff Landry, it will become law. On the bright side, I guess, it will not actually do anything, because, again, chemtrails are not real.
Now, you may be wondering, “Why are all these conspiracy theorists so very worried about weather control?” And if you lived in Louisiana, of all places, wouldn’t you kind of want someone to be able to control the weather, if it perhaps meant that you would be less likely to lose your home in a flood? Or that it wouldn’t be 10 million degrees in the summer?
The truth is, that’s really only the window dressing. Cloud seeding is a real thing that is used to make it rain (with actual rain, not dollars) during a drought, and the chemtrail people think that attaching their nonsense to that “real thing” makes it seem less absurd. The “real” concern, you see, is mind control. Or population control. Something like that. Usually it has something to do with making people stupid enough that they are willing to accept tyranny.
Perhaps ironically, the best argument in favor of the idea that chemtrails being used to dumb down the populace enough to accept tyranny is the existence of people who believe in chemtrails and voted for Donald Trump. That being said, it seems that most of them came by their ignorance honestly and without much outside assistance.
A really good way, I have found, to determine if something is bullshit or not is to look at the ways people have found of dealing with it. People ward off chemtrails, for example, by spraying vinegar into the sky or with “orgone blasters” or prayer or “Tesla purple plates” or … whatever on earth it is that this man is doing.
It will probably shock you to hear this, but that guy is also a “Targeted Individual” and a believer in some kind of Ascended Masters nonsense, because while chemtrails are not real, crank magnetism definitely is.
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