MAGA Still Out Of Its F*cking Gourd Over Zohran And Other Election Night Losses
The excuses for Republicans’ resounding and humiliating losses on Tuesday are getting more copey and strangey.
Since the 2024 election squeaker, Democrats have gone through a lot to try to figure out the lessons, and sometimes have been at odds with each other, but we don’t think it’s ever looked as weird and pathetic as what MAGA and its media are doing right now. The levels of denial here, well, they’re exactly what you’d expect from people who literally still cannot mentally or emotionally process the fact that they lost like losers in 2020. Who cannot look in the mirror and admit how much normal people loathe them and think they’re weird. Who in order to survive without ever having to become self-aware, concoct elaborate fantasies about how everybody else secretly thinks just like they do, it’s just that everybody else is too scared to say so.
Unlike them, who are brave. And likable. And smart, from all the Their Own Research they do. And wanted. And needed by society. And loved.
Granted, these are people who never even consider trying to win elections by making more people like them, because we guess on some level they know that’s not an option in their book of dirty tricks. No, everything has to be deceit and fearmongering and lying. And it works for them sometimes. Other times it bites them on the ass and mocks them.
Fox News and its guests are telling viewers that they lost because they are simply too popular and voters are simply too happy with how things are going under Donald Trump. (Record numbers of Americans — fully two-thirds — now say that the country has “gotten pretty seriously off on the wrong track.” That must be the happiness they’re talking about.) And they’re telling them that actually the Democrats winning means the Democrats are losing, and the Republicans losing means Republicans are winning.
And it gets weirder from there.
We’ll start with Laura Ingraham, scoffing in her contralto register that used to (presumably) whisper sweet eroticisms into Dinesh D’Souza’s ear, back when they were exchanging gonads with each other on purpose to express their animalistic sexual attraction.
Ingraham blah-blah-blah-ed some self-soothing words about how Democrats are going to be a failure because nAmE oNE cOunTrY wHerE sOcIalIsM haS wOrKed, and predicted the worst for the places that elected communist socialist liberal Democrat shari’a law practitioners:
She said:
“New York will have to learn the hard way. New Jersey will be poorly governed, as usual, with mega red tape and high taxes. And in Virginia, parents are gonna be disenfranchised from the education of their children, and taxes are likely to go up there as well.
“So by winning, Democrats are, in a way, losing, because they’re gonna simply drive more people to the red states where life is easier, safer, and less expensive, and the government generally more responsive.”
Fine, America! Go do hot sexy socialism and/or moderate liberalism! You’ll see! Everybody will BE SORRY and come crawling back to the good governing of the red states! Only losers win elections!
So that’s some cope.
Then there was this Republican, known dimwit and Michigan Congresswoman Lisa McClain, who told Jake Tapper on CNN that the reason people didn’t vote for Republicans is that they’re just so happy already. No need to rock the boat by waddling to a polling place, we guess!
“Yeah, well, let me give you the other side of that story, is voter turnout from Republicans was not high. Not high at all. But I think part of that reason is because Republicans, for the most part, are happy with what’s happening. The border’s closed, crime is down, inflation under Biden used to be nine percent. It’s now down to three percent. Interest rates are down, mortgages down …”
Well okeydoke. Maybe by next year, Trump’s Hitler-ing and his constant failing — plus the rapidly advancing dementia — will have Republicans so overcome with happy-gasms that they never show up to vote again!
Tapper did note that that was the natural conclusion of McClain’s logic, that Republicans could be so deliriously happy they just forget to vote during the midterms.
Please remember that back in 2022, Lisa McClain was pretty sure Donald Trump had killed Osama bin Laden. The neurons in her brain aren’t sending their best.
A Newsmax dipshit, Rob Finnerty, continued to cope with the losses by saying Zohran Mamdani is the new Jefferson Davis, that “Republicans did not win last night, but Democrats really didn’t win either.” His meltdown continued, as he then whined that Ilhan Omar tweeted something in Arabic (literally all she said was “Alhamdulillah”) on election night:
“Ilhan Omar tweeting last night praise be to Allah in Arabic because that’s a normal thing for a United States congresswoman to do, isn’t it? Tweet something out in Arabic. Tweet in the language of the country that you immigrated from, not the country that you immigrated to, a country that’s so amazing that it made you a member of Congress and you’re tweeting in a foreign language.”
A foreign language? How can anyone even possibly!
He seems hysterical, bless his heart.
Anyway, then he got to the Jefferson Davis thing:
“And after eight years of Bill de Blasio and four of Eric Adams, the people of New York City just elected the most radical politician in American history, right up there with Jefferson Davis. He was the president of the Confederacy during the Civil War. And if you’ve ever been to New York City — maybe you haven’t, but if you have been to New York City, hold on to those memories, because the city will never be the same again. Which is exactly what Zohran Mamdani wants to happen.”
Is saying that Zohran is like the leader of the Confederacy the best way to convince Newsmax viewers that Zohran is bad? Seems misguided. But yes, it’s true, it’s no longer safe for Newsmax watchers to go to New York, because of Zohran, and because Ilhan Omar tweeted an Arabic word.
For a Newsmax runner-up, there is the other nondescript white dude named Rob, last name Schmitt, who whined last night to Mercedes Schlapp that “young women in this country have become a very scary demographic,” explaining that the little ladies in New York “voted to make the city dramatically less safe for themselves.”
But for just a weird unhinged rant, we’ll finish back at Fox News with host Emily Compagno, who said, um, all this, and broke a land speed record for being wrong and out of her fucking gourd:
“I don’t care who he is. He’s a blatant anti-semite,
Cite primary source? Because a lot of people say that, but they’re not showing their work.
who has never had a job in his life,
Three-term member of the New York state Assembly, since 2020. Before that, he was a foreclosure prevention and housing counselor. She could check Wikipedia, it’s easy and free!
who enjoys a royal wedding in Uganda,
who lives in a Chelsea multi-million dollar apartment
$2,300-a-month rent-stabilized one-bedroom in Astoria, Queens, but aside from that, she almost nailed it.
thanks to the hard work of people he knows nothing about. The million people who voted for him were because he was viral, clearly.
He was viral?
All of them all sedated and seduced by the clickbait that he is.
He sedated them, then he seduced them? Sounds more like a MAGA bro dating manual than Zohran’s campaign strategy.
We have anecdotal people who went to college with him
They have anecdotal people.
that said, ‘Yeah, he was a drinking bro.’
Drinking? IN COLLEGE?
He did whatever it was to be popular. And now his insides are coming out.
Oh no, Zohran, your insides!
I consider him an absolute joke, and I look forward to him totally failing. But I am horrified by his policies and his communism and his anti-semitism spreading even further across this rot.”
Well, if this weirdo considers him a joke, how ever will he recover and move into Gracie Mansion and serve as the mayor of New York?
Guess he’ll have to manage somehow.
Or they’ll just have to cope harder.
OPEN THREAD.
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'DOJ tells Republicans that Epstein files even worse for Trump than they thought: report'
"Several House Republicans have reportedly heard from the Department of Justice (DOJ) that the unreleased Jeffrey Epstein documents are especially compromising for President Donald Trump.
That's according to reporting from former MSNBC, CNN and Fox News reporter David Shuster, who posted to his X account on Wednesday that there is "speculation/rumors sweeping through [the] GOP caucus" about the details of the Epstein files.
"A few GOP house members say they’ve heard from FBI/DOJ contacts that the Epstein files (with copies in different agencies) are worse than Michael Wolff’s description of Epstein photos showing Trump with half naked teenage girls," Shuster wrote.
The veteran journalist further reported that Republicans were "spooked" by Attorney General Pam Bondi's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, after she refused to answer a question from Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI) about whether she had personally seen the photos after the contents of Epstein's safe were confiscated."
https://www.rawstory.com/doj-tells-republicans-that-epstein-files-even-worse-for-trump-than-they-thought-report/