Manly Man Andrew Tate Arrested In Florida, In Man Capris And A Purple Man Blouse
For rape and charges 'relating to indecent images of a child.'
It’s always unfortunate when bad things happen to good people, so it’s nice sometimes to see bad things happening to really, really terrible people. Professional misogynists Andrew and Tristan Tate were arrested by US Marshals this weekend in Miami, Florida, fresh from what we can only assume was a shopping spree in the Liz Claiborne section of a JC Penney in a half-dead mall.
Sadly, their reported BFF Barron Trump could not save the pair — at least not so far — from being arrested by US Marshals to face possible extradition by British authorities on 38 charges of rape and sex trafficking, plus an additional 19 charges for Andrew “for offences relating to indecent images of a child and extreme pornography.”
Should you need a little pick-me-up, here is a video of them actually getting arrested, wearing especially undignified ensembles, and Tate being assisted in the removal of his jewelry by a manservant in a golden smoking jacket who seemed to be having quite a bit of trouble getting the chains over his head.
Personally, I plan to bookmark it so that I can watch it whenever I feel gross about the state of the world, which is most days lately.
These, by the way, are new charges from a new group of women, spanning the years 2010 to 2017 in the area north of London where they grew up .
They have already been charged with multiple counts of “bodily harm, human trafficking and controlling prostitution,” based on complaints from three other women, between the years 2012 and 2015. Truly, they’ve been keeping very busy, allegedly! They’re also still technically facing charges of “forming an organized criminal group, human trafficking, trafficking of minors and money laundering” in Romania, though their trial has been held up with procedural delays. They may also be under a federal investigation in the United States, as four people they are trying to sue for defamation (really?) asked that the lawsuit be paused “until the United States federal investigation and/or prosecution by the Department of Justice for the Southern District of New York of Andrew and Tristan Tate has concluded.”
In fact, according to Joseph McBride, the incredibly douchey-looking lawyer representing the brothers, this is all “filth and slander” intended to derail said defamation lawsuits, which doesn’t even sort of make sense.
“They’re pulling out all the stops to make sure these guys never get their day in court,” McBride said. “We are confident that once a competent judge sees the facts, and once the Department of Justice confronts this egregious abuse of its own authority, Andrew and Tristan Tate will walk free. America does not do Britain’s political dirty work.”
Wouldn’t that technically be Britain doing America’s political dirty work, if they were intended to derail defamation lawsuits in the United States? And in any case, it’s also pretty hard to make the case that one could defame Andrew Tate by saying that he “human trafficked [them], abused [them] and held [them] against [their] will,” when he’s publically bragged about doing exactly that to women, and encouraged other men to do the same.
In non-rape or sex trafficking criminal issues, a British court allowed the British government to seize $3.4 million from Andrew Tate after he publicly bragged about all the tax evasion he did when he lived there.
It’s almost as though bragging about crimes is a bad idea! Or even publicly talking about how you want to move to Romania because of what you believe to be their lax rape laws.
The brothers actually have so many legal issues that there is literally a Wikipedia page titled “Legal affairs of the Tate brothers” — a very exclusive genre of Wikipedia page that appears to exist only for very special folks like them, Donald Trump, Elon Musk and Andrew Jackson. But sure, they’re totally innocent of all of the things they openly bragged about doing and, again, encouraged other men to do as well.
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It’s also not exactly true that anyone is preventing the Tate Brothers from having their day in court. In fact there is even a live feed of them having a day in court, today, should you need any further schadenfreude.
Enjoy!
Just had a 20-minute conversation with Lindsey Graham, who LOVED Andy's ensemble.
"In Man Capris"
(aka, how I knew this is a Robyn post)