Marjorie Taylor Greene Goes After Anthony Fauci With Darkest Timeline Snoopy Scenario

She's so, so, so, so, so, so very, very, very, very nuts.

Poor Anthony Fauci. The man is a much-lauded, highly regarded doctor, immunologist, and disease specialist who had a long career in government, where he headed the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases for decades. He was on the front lines of the AIDS epidemic beginning in the early 1980s and has been recognized mostly as a positive force in pushing forward the study and development of drug treatments for the disease. (Even Larry Kramer came around on him.) He has advised every American president going back to Ronald Reagan. He is 83 years old and a year and a half into a well-deserved retirement.

And yet he still has to drag his ass up to a hearing on Capitol Hill so that a bored dipshit suburban CrossFit housewife who lacks the brainpower that God gave a turnip can hit him over the head with garbage conspiracy theories written by weirdos with screen names like FauciIsANazi and HeilTrump88 (these guys are not always ideologically consistent) that she pulled off a QAnon message board.

The hearing was for a House subcommittee investigating the origins of the COVID pandemic. The bored dipshit suburban CrossFit housewife is, of course, Marjorie Taylor Greene, who spent her allotted five minutes of speaking time berating Fauci because children had to wear masks for a while during the pandemic and also because he killed some beagles being used in a medical experiment or something? We don’t know, Charlie Brown was unavailable for comment.

Here is Marge’s full questioning in all its glory, if you have the stomach:

If you do not have the stomach, Aaron Rupar posted some clips. Here is one in which old Marge yells at Fauci because he murdered Snoopy:

“As director of the NIH, you did sign off on these so-called scientific experiments, and as a dog lover I want to tell you this is disgusting and evil, what you signed off on, and these experiments that happened to beagles paid for by the American taxpayer. And I want you to know Americans don’t pay taxes for animals to be tortured like this, so the type of science you are representing, Mr. Fouchy, is abhorrent and it needs to stop.”

Fauci was never head of the NIH. But good news for Marge: He has retired, and we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that he is not spending that retirement carrying out dog murder. Also, Congresswoman, PETA is on line one. Something about making you their spokeswoman? 

The “Fauci murdered beagles” story is an old myth that the Washington Post debunked in 2021, not that wingnuts like Greene have stopped bringing it up at every opportunity anyway.

Rupar also posted this clip that got weird fast as well. After Greene sneered that she would address Fauci as “Mister” and not “Doctor” because she doesn’t think he’s a doctor and also he should be in prison, another member of the committee tried to invoke “decorum” to get her to be polite. That led to fresh word salad about syphilis for some reason:

CONGRESSMAN: Is this what we have devolved to? No decorum.

GREENE: You know what, we can do that hearing about the poor men that were injected with syphilis because I support you in that that’s horrific, and this government that does things like that to Americans doesn’t have decorum to the American people.

The Tuskegee Experiment was indeed horrific, but it is unclear what Fauci had to do with it, seeing as how it started in the 1930s before he was born and was overseen by the CDC, an agency he never worked for. Also, may we suggest some ESL classes so you won’t have to resort to your native gibberish?

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But Marge was rolling. Here is a clip where she accused Fauci of selling out America’s children for his paymasters in the pharmaceutical industry. Keep in mind that Fauci was a high-level (and already well remunerated!) government employee, so if he was taking outside compensation from a private company, that would be worthy of investigation.

Marge doesn’t actually have a specific allegation that Fauci was taking outside money so Pfizer could boost its stock price. But specific allegations are very much beside the point. They just get in the way of mindless rants:

“But yet children — children! — all over America were forced to wear masks. Healthy children forced to wear masks, muzzled in their schools, and then they were forced to work from home because of your so-called science and your medical suggestions while you and all your cronies get paid from Big Pharma.”

Then Greene ranted some more while Fauci kept removing his glasses and putting them back on while looking as if he was trying very, very, very hard to keep from busting out laughing. Frankly, we would have liked to have seen that. Laughter is the only reasonable response to this nonsense.

Mercifully, after five minutes Marge was out of time. If only we could say the same about her congressional career.

[YouTube]

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