249 Comments
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OftenConfused's avatar

I had to look up the only woman on the list. She's obviously a token, since the crime she pled to is nowhere near as egregious as the men's. Or, as a county commissioner in Florida, she knows where a few bodies are buried (figuratively)

thixotropic jerk's avatar

How come nobody’s talking about how Mattman learned how to share thanks to his good procuring buddy Joel? If this isn’t evolution happening right before our very eyes I don’t know what is! A Republican who shares! Ok it was young vulnerable paid and in some cases maybe even underage women, but still. Babby steps.

Sean Jungian's avatar

Taking calls from the President of the USA while on the terlet or in the middle of jerking off isn't impressive. Anyone would do that.

The President of the USA taking your calls while on the can or masturbating? Now that's impressive.

tex7's avatar

Me, too. The creep factor was so obvious. I never watched another Woody Allen film after that.

Catbird's avatar

True, but your birthright isn't worth much if it is only used to keep you out of jail. Well, his daddy's money probably also played an outsized role in getting his congressional gig. Which he most probably will lose.

Meccalopolis's avatar

LBJ used to get briefings from aides while on the can.

GoodToGoFreeWilly's avatar

I keep seeing how Gaetz didn't get a pardon because he didn't put up the money.

Think people.

How do we know Dumpty didn't take his pardon-for-pay kick-up, and then didn't keep his promise?

There were plenty of reports of people paying huge sums for pardons, and not getting them.

What is DoorMatt JailBaetz going to do? Sue? Complain loudly? Quit?

I am willing to bet that Gaetz and his GOP cohorts did the Jan Sixx riot as instructed, but since they did not deliver, Orange Bad Man isn't giving them shi-

Bageled Mind Virus's avatar

keep yapping, Blabbercock. just keep yapping.

Monty Market's avatar

Faux equivalence! LBJ was passing legislation; Matt was passing underage girls, allegedly.

Wookie Monster's avatar

And Biff was passing undigested Whoppers.

Meccalopolis's avatar

Just a point of general historical interest.

H0mer0's avatar

I usually ignore calls when in the throes of passion or even "routine" sexytimes. He's gross

H0mer0's avatar

apparently to intimidate them with HIS Johnson.

H0mer0's avatar

She gave an interview in a magazine about depression that her parents were so star struck with Woody Allen, they were encouraging her to go to Paris with him and "share" a hotel room. She felt like "aren't they supposed to protect [her]?"

H0mer0's avatar

I regret I have but only one upfist for you.