636 Comments

I hope every person involved in this finds the result they deserve. That's the kindest thing I can think to say.

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Y’all - all this joking about closets and latent sexuality is doing more harm than good. It plays right into the Right’s narrative that all of us LGBTQ+ are groomers and predators.

This man is an actual predator and his preferred victims are male. That does not necessarily make him gay. 96% of child rapists are male and of those, 76% are in heterosexual marriages.*

Men are much less likely to report sexual violence than women. Schlapp isn’t going after men in with equal power to his. He is going after campaign aides, interns, and the like. Men who are just starting in politics. Men who are more likely to fear for their jobs, their reputations, and repercussions than more politically established men.

My heart goes out to the victims, the ones who have bravely come forward, and the ones who can’t come forward but are bravely trying to heal and protect themselves, too.

*https://www.ywca.org/wp-content/uploads/WWV-CSA-Fact-Sheet-Final.pdf

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I think the rule of thumb has been: for every woman who reports being assaulted, there are two other women who don't report it. One wonders what the numbers are for men :/

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“I’m a man of God and I’m here to take you to my private rectory."

You misspelled "rectumry." Or was one of the puns you mercifully spared us?

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"...and the ACU’s own bookkeeping..."

When they start coming up with reasons you can't look at the books just now, it's time to start calling in the lawyers.

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My guess is that's why this is popping back up into the spotlight. These people are comfortable turning a blind eye to sexual assault, but threaten their money and it's game over.

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I hope EVERYONE the creep's attacked come forward, and bury him.

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Ta, Evan. The jokes write themselves in this case.

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It's interesting how these right wing organizations (NRA, CPAC/ACU, Project Veritas) keep imploding because their leaders are found to be grifting criminal conmen and/or sexually repressed abusers.

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If I'm casting "Oklahoma," I choose O'Keefe for Curly. But Schlapp would be in the running for Judd Fry.

Let the magic of the stage happen!

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That "the ACU's own bookkeeping" jumped out at me in that list of things he wasn't being transparent about.

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Aunt Slappy libeled. She's grumpy, but not conservative.

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"... backdoor negotiations..." Would I be showing my age, if I got in touch with my inner Bevis and/or Butthead?

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You can't Schlapp that Schlapp down!

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Matt "Schlapp Happy" Schlapp was just doing what Jesus would do: "Get thee behind me, Satan!" (Matthew.16:23).

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"The offer from Schlapp was in the low six figures..."

It's probably best not to try to cheap out on these types of deals.

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100 large for each inch

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Heh. “Back door negotiations” were what got Schlapp into all this trouble, eh?

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junk pummler gonna junk pummel

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"...and the journalist was like LMAO I didn’t ask about money laundering, just “financial ties.” But ¡gracias!"

Austin: "I understand that cat's involved in big underground drills."

Alotta: "How did you know?!"

Austin: "I didn't, baby. You just told me."

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"Back door negotiations....!" LOL!

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