Maybe Elon Musk *Is* The 2024 Russian Election Attack
We are just asking questions.
With a week and a half to go until the election — and nothing but chaos in sight between now and then — a huge article has come out in the Wall Street Journal about Elon Musk’s secret telephone tonguefuck sessions with blood-covered Russian baby murderer Vladimir Putin, which brings to mind just one question for us:
Is the 2024 Russian attack on the US election actually just one pathetically needy absolute loser of a richest man in the world named Elon Musk?
It might make a lot of sense.
First of all, we learn a number of things in this article, some of which we already knew some things about, like for instance:
Putin and Elon been having their little secret fuckchats for a while now, going back as far as 2022, plus Elon’s had other fuckchats with other Russian bigwigs close to Putin.
Putin was like hey Elon, can you plz not let Taiwan have Starlink? Asking for a friend who is the dictator-for-life of China.
Though Elon was initially supportive of Ukraine’s side in the Russia/Ukraine war— as one would expect any decent person to be, since it’s customary to defend the side that gets invaded for no reason, which in this case also happens to be our ally, as opposed to the side that does the invading/baby murdering — he quickly changed his tune on that later in 2022, when he wouldn’t let Ukraine’s military use Starlink for any kind of offensive operations. Guess who benefited from that? Elon has said he wouldn’t allow it because he — in his infinite fucking wisdom about goddamned nothing — was pretty sure it would cause a nuclear war. Any idea who whispered that Kremlin lie in his butthole? We can only imagine.
One of the Russian officials Elon has fuckchatted with is Putin’s first deputy chief of staff Sergei Kiriyenko, who according to the US government has created domains for the spread of Kremlin disinfo, including on the Nazi hell-husk formerly known as Twitter, which Elon owns.
The Kremlin has put pressure on Elon and his businesses, and there have been “implicit threats against him.” Cool friends, dude. Beggars can’t be choosers, we guess.
As we have discussed previously here, there is just about no Russian propaganda Elon Musk isn’t a stupid enough useful idiot not to fall for. Whenever he speaks on the subject, it’s amazing how he just barfs out whatever Putin wants.
LIKE ALL OF THESE.
But this shit has kind of been in plain sight for a long time, if you knew what to look for.
We wrote this in early 2023, after Elon had been babbling out so-called peace plans for Ukraine that contained everything Putin wanted, plus oddly specific information he had no reason to know:
Elon's “prediction” for Ukrainian peace was specific and oddly aligned with Vladimir Putin's exact views. It was like they had been on AOL Instant Messenger or something. It called for new elections in the areas of Ukraine that Russia stole, thereby giving legitimacy to the idea that there were two sides to the question “Should Russia invade and steal Ukraine's land?” It went ahead and gave Crimea to Russia. (Russia apologists have since last year's invasion tried hard to separate the 2022 Russian stealing of Ukrainian territory from the 2014 stealing of Ukrainian territory, desperate for us to believe that the 2014 seizure of Crimea is OK now.)
But Elon's “prediction” also mentioned water supply issues for Crimea. Timothy Snyder noted wryly that it was kinda weird that Elon mentioned the water supply thing, since it was something “well known to Russian authorities but not common knowledge.” In other words, it was something Elon would know fuckall about. (Snyder is good at noticing things that are kinda weird.)
Also we know they have talked on the phone before.
And now here we are.
As the WSJ notes, Elon Musk has billions of dollars of US government contracts, and is the “primary rocket launcher for the Pentagon and NASA.” He has a classified clearance. So it’s kind of weird to have him tongue-fucking our sworn enemies’ assholes on the side, yeah? Could all this be a problem, eh, President Joe Biden?
But aw shucks, guess this is what happens when the government is always outsourcing everything to outside contractors:
One person aware of the conversations said the government faces a dilemma because it is so dependent on the billionaire’s technologies. SpaceX launches vital national security satellites into orbit and is the company NASA relies on to transport astronauts to and from the International Space Station.
“They don’t love it,” the person said, referring to the Musk-Putin contacts. The person, however, said no alerts have been raised by the administration over possible security breaches by Musk.
Putin is having secret chats with Elon. Putin is having secret chats with Trump. Trump and Elon are publicly bumping their pubic bones together on stage in Pennsylvania while Elon basically bribes people to vote for Trump.
Sure, sounds cool!
Elon is one of the loudest voices in the room for fucking Ukraine and leaving it to die, stomping his feet and sneering with his beady little apartheid eyes when Congress is trying to pass aid for our war-torn ally.
Meanwhile, Elon and his Twitter are some of the foremost purveyors of Russian disinformation on the globe, particularly as it pertains to the US election. Here is a good report from NBC News’s Brandy Zadrozny on the current Russian lie factory-to-American mainstream superhighways. Plus, here’s a story on the former deputy Palm Beach County sheriff who’s working with Russian intelligence to seed America with deepfakes and hurt Kamala Harris’s campaign. Guess where some of his work has ended up?
Elon constantly falls for Russian propaganda and shares it incessantly. His Twitter is the biggest disinformation/bullshit factory on the planet, the happiest host to Russian lies.
Trump supports Putin. Putin supports Elon. Elon supports Trump. Putin supports Trump. These guys are all from the same exact strain of medication-resistant butt herpes.
Just kind of seems like all of this is the same story, yeah?
And now Elon has basically moved to Pennsylvania to help “stop” (start) the steal for Donald Trump, who has basically promised that if he’s elected, Elon will get to be the secretary of making sure nobody ever tells Elon no.
Seems like in an ideal world the US government would probably immediately cancel all of Elon Musk’s government contracts, immediately open a criminal investigation, and perhaps even confiscate all the Walmart wastebasket-on-wheels Cybertrucks to make sure they’re not covertly spying for the Kremlin. (Sorry, dads trying to impress their daughters’ underage friends!)
But we don’t live in an ideal world, so.
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(OT and tangential)
So the most beautiful woman in the world (who coincidentally is my actual girlfriend which I am not making up for purposes) let me know that she went to work last week and met one of those wild things known as an "undecided voter". I had thought such things were just another media hoax but the GF said it was true. So we discussed various approaches to capturing this skittish and wild thing's vote and giving it to Ms. Harris.
Since the wild thing is a school teacher working in a Head Start program I thought mentioning Project 2025's plan to eliminate Head Start might bait the wild thing into the trap of continued employment.
Well the next day my GF says that did NOT work. What to do?
Fortunately my GF is also a card carrying AARP cultist with a regular Social Security check being deposited at her bank in her account. She decided to mention Donold's plans for Social Security. The wild thing may not give a shit about continued employment but the wild thing is koo-koo for Cocoa Puffs all in on retiring in three years and is VERY MUCH interested in Social Security being there for her.
My smug GF announced victory yesterday. Chalk another vote up for Ms. Kamala.
And chalk up another reason why my Beautiful Friend is the love of my life and there is no other.
The problem isn't that the government uses contractors--there's a lot of things that they simply cannot create in house--the problem is when you become dependent on a particular contractor to the point that if it is run by a major security risk--the asshole seems to at the very least be a Russian asset, if not an actual fucking traitor--you have any hesitance about terminating the contract right away.
Can you imagine if Boeing (or whoever made the B-17) had this chummy relationship with Hitler, and the War Department just had to be like "well shit, we still need the planes, so let's keep this going."