They did it. Mike Johnson counted on his fingersies and his toesies and his Covenant Privates until he got to 214 and they impeached the motherfucker Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas. For what? They cannot explain using words. He just is bad at border. Didn’t they just have an opportunity to do something about border?
SILENCE!
This just goes to show that Mike Johnson can too count votes (214-213) as long as the Democrats don’t pull any sneaky Hidden Democrat moves to mess up their brains and make them start counting all over again. (You think it’s gross to watch Mike Johnson using all his appendages to count? Wait until he starts enlisting the other members of his caucus for help because he’s run out of fingers and toesies and Covenant Privates.)
Later on in the evening last night, voters in New York’s Third Congressional District — George Santos’s old seat — had their special election and SURPRISE! voters kicked Republicans in the fucking teeth. George Santos won that district by seven and a half points, Tom Suozzi the Democrat right now is up eight with 97 percent of the vote in. (That, by the way, is roughly how much Joe Biden won that district by in 2020.)
But plz tell us more about how immigration is a winning issue for Republicans, considering how their entire playbook in NY-03 was to be real Nazi about immigration.
Also tell us more about how Joe Biden’s oldness will prevent voters from continuing to kick Republicans in the teeth, polls be damned.
Marjorie Taylor Greene is celebrating, though it’s not entirely clear she understands that Mayorkas still gets to go to work today. (It’s also not entirely clear that idiot Mark Green, the Republican chair of the Homeland Security Committee, understands this. Or Ronny Jackson.) MTG has moved on to impeaching Biden, so it’s possible she thinks she’s playing Pokémon Go and she’s found a nest of Democrats and she’s catching them all. What we’re saying is that she’s dumb as shit.
Here is a video of Mike Johnson celebrating:
Ha ha ha HA HA AH aha aha ahaha Hhahah! We were just saying a tease!
That is actually Mike Johnson four years ago explaining that “the founding fathers, the founders of this country, warned against single-party impeachments, and they had a very specific reason for warning us against that. They said that it would be bitterly divisive, perhaps irreparably divisive for the country.”
Awwww, he looked so young. Don’t know if he and his son had their special Christian porn-vanquishing software on their phones at that point. You could be looking at a Mike Johnson video from before he conquered masturbation with the handy assistance of the Lord. Could that account for a change in his feelings about single-party impeachments as well? You’d have to ask him, but no Beltway reporter has the courage.
Anyway, this was indeed a party-line vote, and three Republicans still voted against these dipshits. (Same as last time: Ken Buck, Tom McClintock, Mike Gallagher.)
Democrats are making fun of them:
Schumer in a statement called the impeachment “another embarrassment for House Republicans,” adding that they “failed to present any evidence of anything resembling an impeachable offense.” And the White House panned the “baseless” vote: “History will not look kindly on House Republicans for their blatant act of unconstitutional partisanship that has targeted an honorable public servant in order to play petty political games.”
Republican James Lankford is also making fun of it: "It'll fail in the Senate," said Lankford to CBS News. "If I could use the House term, it'll be dead on arrival when it comes over."
We guess we’ll have a Senate trial next — February 26, Schumer says — which if Senate Democrats have any backbones to speak of, they’ll turn into a full-fledged campaign commercial for Joe Biden and an opportunity to show the world what a babbling criminal authoritarian piece of shit fuckshow Donald Trump really is.
Or maybe they’ll just dismiss it and go back to whatever they were doing before this (unclear).
Either way.
[Playbook / video via Aaron Rupar]
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Senate Dems may be inclined to squash this pronto, but I think Republicans are handing them a huge opportunity for hearings that will focus on how (1) Republicans complained incessantly about the border and begged for border security legislation, (2) Democrats said "ok" and offered them a border security deal, and (3) Republicans killed the deal just because Trump told them to, so (4) Republicans impeached Mayorkas as though 1-3 didn't just fucking happen.
Keep this issue front and center, use hearings to get the sound bites in, and drag Republicans hard over this. Take their strongest issue and hang them over it.
1: Sister and niece have registered to vote
2: Older sister and husband who voted PAB twice won't vote for him again
3: Bro's friend has switched from R to Independent
Keep it up asswipes.