327 Comments
User's avatar
Sleepmonger's avatar

I think Evan is more obsessed with Mike's Johnson being masturbated than Mike is.

zb23's avatar

personally i think it is 4000% improper to have third-party software company run by rando nutjob evangelicals having full access to the computers and phones of the Speaker of the House. 🤷‍♂️

insane it isn't being talked about MORE honestly. seems like a massive security breach that makes the butter emails server that conservatives still hand-wring about pale in comparison.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

🎯Yes, it has probably been hacked by Russia long ago, (for kompromat puposes) because the covenant porn-peener software idiots don't understand actual security measures.

GrannysKnitting's avatar

MTG is one of those 'tick and flick' workers - as long as she can say she ticked it off, she counts it as a win, no matter that the thing she ticked is stupidly pathetic and highlights her complete ignorance

Greg's avatar

Evan, that's it. You're on a timeout until I read your next article, for making me laugh too much and making my sides hurt from said laughing!

;)

Greg's avatar

"Mike Johnson counted on his fingersies and his toesies and his Covenant Privates until he got to 214 and they impeached the motherfucker Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas"

I already blew my coffee on the first line! LOL. Let me read the rest.

Way Left of Center's avatar

This morning, MSNBC ran a column by By Susan Del Percio, "Republican strategist".

She writes "Democrat Tom Suozzi ultimately pulled out the victory on Tuesday night,.."

"Pulled Out" What is this? Teenagers in a car on a hot July night?

It was a fucking 7 point ROUT! 53.9% to 46.1%!! There was noting "close" about it. So she is going to call this a "teachable moment" for the Democratic Party?? What we continue to learn is that not just blue, but swing states and districts recognize the abject failure of leadership put forward by the Republican Party.

We still have to vote as if our lives depend on it, but come on. Suozzi smoked Pilip.

But I guess MSNBC had to run this to be "fair and balanced".

SMH!

fuflans's avatar

that lady drives me nuts. i occasionally drop in to the never trumper podcasts - just to see what the Not MSNBC are saying. she's a regular on one of them and everytime i hear her voice i flee.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

She means "pulled off" but they are idiots who don't do english very well.

Brianna Amore's avatar

Why the fuck do they think anybody is interested in what a Republican strategist has to say about their shellacking in NY last night? Why not ask a DEMOCRATIC strategist, MSNBC?

zb23's avatar

they are probably in too much disarray!

Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

The NYT's points out that recent history has cheapened the impeachment process. However, they fail to point out that impeaching a known criminal, rapist for obvious high crimes and misdemeanors was a perfectly acceptable use of the procedure. It's like we're supposed to figure it out for ourselves that it is the GOP who is cheapening it and not a general us. Because both sides must be adhered to at all times. The NYT's pretending that they don't know this is a lie wrapped in a cloak of journalism.

You Should Ice That Burn's avatar

Don't ever wait for the NYT to explain who the villains are in any given story, spoiler, it's republicans and to point that out would be too close to giving away the game.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

the NYT has to bothsides everything.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

What I want to know is, will the trial be managed by Marjorie Taylor Greene?

Because if so, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let it happen. It would be so much fun to watch her fall apart in real time.

Steven McCrary's avatar

Why don’t the House GOP fire Mike Johnson and vote Marge Taylor for Speaker of the House? (Answer from GOP to me…because WE’RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT, YOU IGNORANT SLUT).

DemoCat's avatar

So Mayorkas keeps his job, won’t be removed in the Senate, and if they have a “trial,” he can simply answer every question with “didn’t your colleagues in the House kill the immigration reform bill? Adding 20,000 border patrol and administration officials would have gone a long way to improving the situation. Instead, they want to preserve the issue and accuse me of imaginary high crimes and misdemeanors.”

Brianna Amore's avatar

I really really really hope they have a trial. Just to watch Republicans fall flat on their faces.

DemoCat's avatar

I’m wondering if a trial was never part of the plot. Even Senate Republicans aren’t jazzed about wasting time with this political diversion. Certainly it ends in an acquittal, which does nothing for the House wingers. I bet they simply keep talking about this “impeachment” and “scheduling” a “trial” for fall, or December, whatever they think will be most useful. Who knows. Most Republicans are in Congress to make money for themselves and their friends, enjoy/abuse their power and play political games.

Kobayashi Marooned's avatar

I'd make sure he specified "Republican colleagues" in his responses.

DemoCat's avatar

Look at those sad faces behind Mike Johnson. Getting caught in the background of a Mike Johnson photo is similar to when basketball players try to get out of the frame when being dunked on. You don’t want to end up on a Mike Johnson poster in some Bible college someday. How embarrassing.

fawkedifiknow's avatar

I don't know whether the sight of MTG presenting her "case" to the Senate would be worth the price of admission or not. It would be the dumbest shit you have ever seen on television, that's for sure.

Emmanuel Goldstein's avatar

I'd put it in a tie with "My Mother the Car."

DogParent's avatar

Explaining this to those who are too young now to understand (assuming global warming doesn't end civilization as we know it before we have to do that) is going to be completely bizarre. I had a flash of my high school history teacher talking about WWI trench warfare, while we all sat agog at the absurdity and waste.

Brianna Amore's avatar

When I was a kid I thought Watergate had something to do with a gate in the water.

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

When I heard tv news discussing a "gangland style murder", I was imagining a very violent theme park.

HarryButtle, degenerate artist's avatar

Nice to see Manchin isn't being a prick about this.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

He's trying to burnish his 'cred' for a no labels candidacy.

Fender Deluxe's avatar

What grinding my gears is that the Democrats like Schumer are very clear that there is no evidence of anything to support impeachment, yet news headlines claim that Democrats oppose impeachment over “policy difference.”

Christ on a popsicle stick.

Caepan's avatar

That's what pisses me off so much about the constant whining about "dEmOcRaTs ArE bAd At MeSsAgInG!1!" It's really hard for Democrats to get their message out when it's forced through the "bothsides" grinder that always winds up making things taste bland and ineffectual.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Thank you! When the message carriers, fuck up the message on purpose, it's infuriating!

Shawn Davis's avatar

🤣🤣🤣 I love it here!!!

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

We get to swear like real adults here!

Lyndsey Loves tRump Farts's avatar

They should hold the trial. On the weekends.