408 Comments
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Atrele Kasha's avatar

"Maybe he’ll run into Melania between now and then, but probably not more than one time? Or maybe she’s making herself even more scarce than usual? Probably should not get high hopes for “see wife.”"

Melania has probably fucked all the way off. Can you blame her?

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Mark Linimon's avatar

Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe because I'm listening to Sun Ra, but the "list of items" made me crack up.

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BigBoppa AKA Masto♾️Don's avatar

By coincidence, April 15 is also the day that trump will not be paying his taxes again.

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human being's avatar

Cackled my way through this.

Many reasons I come here, but sussing out how many fucks Evan has left to give to this particular bit of bullshit- it occurs to me now- has the makings of an excellent drinking game

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Tessie's avatar

"between now and April 15 there are:

Eleven days.

Ten sleeps.

253 hours.

15,220 minutes.

913,194 seconds.

Probably like 56 real terrifying poops, considering his diet.

76,857,482 misspelled rage tweets on Truth Social."

Worst Barenaked Ladies cover ever... or possibly best.

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Zap's avatar

"Most rational observers don’t think even Trump’s partisan hack Supreme Court will go down that road with him, so it’s probably pointless." I'm irrational enough to believe they never should have taken the case at all.

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insert_something_creative's avatar

Absolutely. The did him a solid by delaying the case even further, likely until after the election, regardless of the eventual outcome (which I agree/hope will be that they rule against him).

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

So, when his other cases all come due after the election, because he's run out of either time or money or both, will the media call him former President Trump or failed presidential candidate Trump?

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JR's avatar

Can only pray that this trial drags into November, since PAB has to be in the courtroom for it all. We'll see if their tune changes and might want to expedite the conviction, so his ratings can surge and he can be out raging about how unfair and he never knew NY and its real estate, not his type.

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oscarphile's avatar

An innocent person, as has been pointed out a trillion times, would have wanted everything to be over with quickly as possible.

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Bitter Scribe's avatar

Sometimes I wonder if Cannon truly is a fucking MAGA idiot. The alternative that occurs to me is that she knows perfectly well that once trials start, they go quickly, and she also knows quite well that Jack Smith will stomp Trump and his lawyers into pudding. That would put her in the position of having to pronounce sentence, and possibly imprison, a former and potential future SCOTUS, and she's willing to do anything and everything to avoid that.

In the end, I don't suppose her motivation matters. All that matters is that Smith find a way to get around her.

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Tessie's avatar

To be fair, even someone of Judge Qanon's rather strikingly limited intelligence presumably realizes that she cannot QUITE just hand him a crown and scepter without incurring negative consequences, but she's still puzzling out how close to that she can get without going over, like some horrible version of "The Price is Right".

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Stulexington's avatar

Also, didn't this crime happen before Trump became God Emperor of Usa?

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

He has always been God Emperor of Usa.

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Zap's avatar

Doubleplus good!

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DDB9000's avatar

Just saw a clip of a Kennedy ad using the theme from ''Golden Girls'' (thank you for being a friend).

I SO wish that Betty White was still alive so she could beat the living shit out of him!

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Caepan's avatar

With that charming smile on her face as well!

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oscarphile's avatar

BEA ARTHUR* WOULD HAVE TORN OFF HIS NUTSAC WITH ONE BURNING GLANCE

*who, never forget, "bequeathed $300,000 to the Ali Forney Center, a New York City organization that provides housing for homeless LGBTQ+ youths" [snif]

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DDB9000's avatar

I did not know she did that - thsat's great!

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Zap's avatar

Would pay.

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Johnny Appleseed's avatar

I'd chip in too!

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Emil Muz's avatar

Haha...Jack Smith made Cannon blink.

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Free beach's avatar

This cannon person somehow seems disingenuous to the whole blind justice precedent thing.

She almost acts as if she runs interference for Ttump or something. I wonder how this can be?

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Emil Muz's avatar

from what I read, her ruling was full of implied butthurt about being called out.

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oscarphile's avatar

She sees him as her ticket to SCOTUS

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Chino Cherokee's avatar

I'm going to go on national television and slam Judge Marchon's daughter, knowing FULL WELL that (of course) nothing is going to happen to me.

If he says anything, I'll do it again.

etc......

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Zap's avatar

Then ask for favors.

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Buz 13's avatar

If I were being falsely accused and witch hunted , I’d want to go to trial immediately, but I’m a righteous good person and not an orange wannabe dick-tater (or taterdick?) It never ceases to amaze me how his Fox fans scream about trumped up charges and his supposed innocence, but not a one suggests he speed up things and go to trial before Election Day. It’s like they know he’s guilty

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Caepan's avatar

Oh, they don't care whether TFG is guilty or not. They just want him to get away with everything.

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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Okay, this is now officially a day to celebrate. Champagne in the fridge.....

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Also his $175mill bond was rejected for deficient paperwork. Not sure if he gets time to fix his homework or if he's judged not to have posted a bond at all and the seizures can begin.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I would assume he's got to the end of the 10 day extension to get his bond in. After that?

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Tosca's avatar

Ok, THAT'S fucking hilarious. You mean Habba fucked up his paperwork AGAIN???

Add in the plummeting value of his Truth Social BS shares, and Tucker's having a bad week.

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Tessie's avatar

Not Habba this time.

"Mr. Hankey" did not include the required information/documents about his financials.

No word on what sort of documentation of Ol' Stinky's financials might be required.

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Turns out the company needs to file financial statements that basically proves they have enough capital to actually make good on the bond if Trump loses.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I assume no one mentioned that to Mr. Hankey when he said, "Sure."

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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Company is reportedly very under capitalized. Also not licensed to in NY. 😂

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

How unexpected.

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Rhiannon's avatar

Indeed.

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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

IKR? Doh! Nice try Donnie.

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Anzu's avatar

As much as I loathe states rights arguments, this is one of the things the Founders got right with the Constitution. A state is its own little fiefdom and can set its own laws, and if someone violates those laws in such a way that they don't also violate federal laws, the state has a right to bring charges against that person on their own terms. The SCOTUS would have to rip the Constitution in half to say otherwise.

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Just_Jim's avatar

Justice Alito says hold my beer.

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Tessie's avatar

Rapey Kavanaugh slaps it out of his hand and chugs it.

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Anzu's avatar

I'm not sure even he wants to say that states are unable to enforce their own laws ever again, because suddenly all the abortion rulings they made become null and void if they are unenforceable at the state level, no?

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