Mercury, Venus, Trump And Mars. These Are The Planets That Dwell By Our Star.
Not a good day for 'SHUT UP, MAGA IS NOT A CULT!'
Them: SHUT UP, MAGA IS NOT A CULT, WE DO NOT WORSHIP DONALD TRUMP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Also them: Ooh, let’s rename the ocean after Trump!
We wish we were kidding. We are sitting here amazed that in the year of our Lord 2024, this is a real story. This is not North Korean shit, as we have never in fact heard of a North Korean congressman suggesting they rename the Pacific for Kim Jong-un. (It could have happened, we just haven’t heard of it. Do Your Own Research and find out!)
But an American Republican MAGA congressman has made that suggestion for Trump.
Congressman Greg Steube, everyone:
Note the ratio on that absolute dipshit’s tweet.
So yeah, Greg Steube wants to rename all the coastal waters — you know, the waters in the oceans that surround the United States — the “Donald John Trump Exclusive Economic Zone,” because we guess it was easier than putting both of Trump’s balls in his mouth without attracting attention.
He’s introducing it today, which is also Trump’s 78th birthday.
If you want us to write about this like it’s a real proposal by a real human man, go read the New York Times or Politico or something.
We thought that would set the record for grundle-caressing MAGA cult worship toward Trump at least for the week, but six seconds later, Aaron Rupar tweeted this video of Kansas GOP Senator Roger Marshall just absolutely babbling about how beautiful and impressive and athletic Trump’s fastball was during the congressional softball game the other night. OH WAIT JUST KIDDING.
Actually he was just talking about how “electric” Trump and his “fastball” were during their congressional meeting yesterday, the one where Trump showed up to beg Congress to unconvict him of all his New York felonies, which is probably not how anything works, but hey fuck it.
MARSHALL: He’s electric! He’s got an incredible fastball! And I think it was just exciting after all he’s been through, how strong this MAN is, I’ve never seen someone be able to take all the heat that he’s taken and come in there, ready to lead.
Cleanup on aisle Larry Kudlow, the senator from Kansas seems to be having an accident. Oh wait, the Fox Business host sounds like he was into it too.
Gross.
Rupar also put together this supercut, including Marshall above, of Republicans being visibly emotional after the meeting as they talked about touching the hem of Trump’s garment. Marjorie Taylor Greene was about to cry because he said hello to her. Really.
In summary and in conclusion, no Republicans have proposed renaming planet Earth after Trump yet, but it’s his birthday, the day is young, and he hasn’t named a running mate yet.
[Vid via Rupar]
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Naming the oceans after the PAB is something I cannot fathom. It is leagues beyond my capacity to understand it.
PAB is such a rugged, barnacle bitten old salt. He's Cockeye the Failure man.