MI Republican Flees Own 'Ban Gay Marriage' Presser, Gay Dem Helpfully Takes Over!
Good format for all future Republican announcements if you ask us.
A Republican lawmaker in Michigan, state Rep. Josh Schriver, believes so strongly in his Christian Faith that yesterday, he introduced a resolution condemning the United States Supreme Court’s 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges decision, with a bunch of whereases about how it’s against “natural law” and the Constitution somehow. Hilariously, it doesn’t directly call on the Supremes to overturn Obergefell, which is fine since that’s not how the Supreme Court works anyway.
Schriver is quite the far-right MAGA idiot, as you may have guessed already. A little over a year ago, he lost his committee assignments, his staff, and even his office in the state Capitol after he endorsed the racist “Great Replacement” theory about how THEY are using immigration to “replace” wonderful white people like him and Tucker Carlson and other Twitter Nazis. If only! The fuckers are still here!
In December, Schriver was mocked widely after he tweeted “Make gay marriage illegal again. This is not remotely controversial, nor extreme.” Needless to say, it was both, and so many people called him a bigoted jerkwad and said he should mind his own damn business that he knew he had to be right, so that’s how we got to yesterday’s nonbinding resolution, which has so far has attracted only six Republican cosponsors and is unlikely to pass anyway.
But hey, it was a chance for a visibly nervous Schriver to hold a brief press conference where he advised the godless heathen media he would not take questions, then launched into a bunch of lies about how gay people getting married is bad for families, tramples on Christians’ sacred right to tell other people how to live, and other horrors. Schriver insisted that the 2015 Obergefell decision had “widened the portal for gays, queers, transsexuals, polygamists, minor-attracted persons and other perverts to advance attacks on our children,” although for some reason he didn’t also call for outlawing the most dangerous category of perverts, youth pastors.
Schriver even got all scientific, explaining that marriage must only be between heterosexual people, a “biological necessity to preserve and grow our human race,” which doesn’t actually seem to be running out of babbies anyway. He also said a lot of God stuff about the need to recognize the “sovereignty of Christ as our King,” which did you know actually has fuck-all to do with our actual Constitution?
True to his word, after spewing lies and invoking God’s blessings upon those assembled, whether you people want ‘em or not, Schriver then hurried from the room.
Here’s video! (If you get tired of Schriver and his preaching, skip to the 5:33 mark, where Schriver leaves and the cool fun part starts. This is what we call a “teaser,” another word that will never ever be used in reference to Rep. Schriver.)
Schriver might have been a tad flummoxed because sitting right in front of him was Democratic state Sen. Jeremy Moss, who’s gay. Bridge Michigan reporter Jordyn Hermani got this beautiful shot of the presser. (Updated with link to post, not her profile, yeesh, DOK.)
After Schriver preached and fled the room so he wouldn’t be infected with “gay” or “journalist,” Moss, the state Senate’s first out LGBTQ+ member, generously stepped up to the microphone to continue the press conference, which we think was mighty civil of him:
“I think this was, this was just as buffoonish as I expected it to be. I think this has fallen flat with people in the state of Michigan. I think that people respect their LGBTQ neighbors, their LGBTQ family members. These marriages have been the law of the land for 10 years; they contribute to family security, they contribute to economic security.”
Moss went on to say he was pretty sure Michiganders had better things to worry about than their next-door neighbors’ marriages. But then a GOP staffer in the room finally thought to end the presser, and that was that.
In response to Schriver’s bill, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer released her own video, in which she was succinct: “Hell no.”
Calling the question non-negotiable, Whitmer added, “We fought a long, hard fight to win marriage equality, and we will always protect our family, our friends and neighbors from hateful attacks. […] This is personal for me, just like so many Michiganders, and I’m not gonna allow the people I love the most in this world to have less rights than anyone else.” This made us simultaneously cheer and whisper “Fewer, governor. It’s fewer.”
Michigan’s constitution still includes an amendment restricting marriage to heterosexuals (and maybe only if they fuck in the missionary position for the purposes of procreation, we’re just guessing). In addition, it also banned civil unions, just to keep LGBTQ+ people from getting any ideas. It was passed by voters in 2004 when that was the sort of thing that got panicky people to the polls, but it was overturned, like other state laws, by the Obergefell decision. For good measure, Sen. Moss also took to Facebook to urge a new voter initiative that would remove the now-moot amendment from the state constitution, just in case Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito get the chance to actually overturn Obergefell.
Hell yes to that, and thank you Sen. Moss.
[Bridge Michigan / Detroit Free Press / Michigan HR 28]
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>> "This is personal for me, just like so many Michiganders, and I’m not gonna allow the people I love the most in this world to have less rights than anyone else.” This made us simultaneously cheer and whisper “Fewer, governor. It’s fewer.” <<
This is the grammatical analysis that keeps me reading Wonkette.
Because I am classy as fuck, I did NOT follow the bit about how Obergefell “widened the portal for gays, queers, transsexuals, polygamists, minor-attracted persons and other perverts to advance attacks on our children” with a link to GOATSE, though that really was the first thing that came to mind.
Aren't you glad I kept that gross thought entirely to myself?