209 Comments

I originally read this headline as referring to space aliens, and it speaks to the ridiculousness of the current GOP that I thought that was something they would actually say.

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Ta, Dok. No. Just no. Also too, if Mikey's got no bank account, where does Congress direct deposit his totally undeserved paycheck?

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I imagine he has to go to an old-timey bank teller's window where an old man with wire-rimmed glasses and a visor licks his thumb before counting out cash (I'm guessing 20s and 50s). Just like in the Good Old Days ™️.

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See why “faith” is so popular among conservatives? It allows all manner of sins as long as their floaty god is ok with it, and they can “just know” bad things about people they don’t like and YOU can’t convince them not to! They just know. They feel it. They say it, repeat it, insist upon it. But it’s all bullshit because reality is inconvenient and pretty terrible for conservatives. Sad trombone.

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"We all know intuitively ... "

Oh, Judas Iscariot on a Harley-Davidson. As someone said, "When 'everybody knows' such-and-such - then it ain't so, by at least ten thousand to one." And one could add thereto, when everybody knows it INTUITIVELY, it just means, "This is what I want to believe and don't bother me with facts."

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founding

Also, Mike sure doesn't sound like he's from Louisiana. Hmmmm? Do you want to know my intuition about THAT!?

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Louisiana... .where they bury the dead above ground, to make it easier to get to the polls.

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founding

Also, Mike sure doesn't sound like he's from Louisiana. Hmmmm? Do you want to know my intuition about THAT!?

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If republicans really had intuition they wouldn't be republicans.

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“We all know intuitively that a lot of illegals are voting in federal elections, but it’s not been something that is easily provable." Because it's not true? Also don't include ME in your "we all know" you fucking disingeuous god-bothering idiot.

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He needs an app to tell him when he can wack off but when it comes to destroying the foundation of our constitutional democracy he's fine with his gut.

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"Know intuitively" is GOPspeak for make up random shait that feeds the predetermined narrative. You know, like "we all" do.

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All the retrumplicans suck.

The end.

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As Dok mentioned, being an undocumented immigrant does not mean you are as stupid as the average MAGA. Because their objective is to stay as invisible and undetected as possible. While walking into a voting location with a fake ID or claiming to be someone you are not is a good way to become very visible. What if the person you are stealing the identity of has already voted, or even that an election worker knows the person you claim to be? Plus, with the heavily gerrymandered districts in most red states, a vote for a Democrat is not going to change the results and may land you in prison. In fact, getting caught voting as an undocumented immigrant in a heavily Democratic district in heavily Democratic California will at least get you deported if not sent to prison. So MAGA thinks millions of undocumented immigrants are going to flood voting booths in Mississippi or Alabama to vote for Biden or whoever is running in a heavily gerrymandered red district and risk years in a Mississippi or Alabama prison followed by getting kicked out of the country. Probably along with your entire family as soon as you are arrested. So they are doubly screwed, losing a wage earner and being deported without the father or mother. Only Trump cultists are that stupid.

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Making an unprovable crime even 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 of a crime is just the kind of outside-the-box solution this country needs.

Wait. Not needs, 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴.

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Not sure about the country but definitely a solution republicans deserve.

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Making an unprovable crime even 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 of a crime is just the kind of outside-the-box solution this country needs.

Wait. Not needs, 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴.

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This will reappear in in every "Magic Mike" Johnson story for a while. Possibly NSFW if you work in a Baptist church office.

https://substack.com/@paulomatic/note/c-48999507?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=edsu

Someday it may grow up and become an animated GIF!

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Dems need to tack on a million amendments concerning REAL election integrity.

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And amendment #1 should be to prohibit partisan gerrymandering.

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Let's shoot for the moon: end the Electoral College.

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