"LMAO. This mediocre zero among men think God takes time out of bibbity-bobbity-boo-ing planets into existence and giving angels love-pats on their bottoms to talk to him. "
C'mon. We know how God *really* occupies His eternal time:
It requires a monumental ego, colossal self-regard, to assume you've been picked out by Providence to lead the country. In fact it requires precisely the kind of characteristics Christ warned against. I do believe in some kind of Deity. But I'm not arrogant enough to assume they've picked me for anything special, except to finish my book, keep drawing, and try to be decent to other people.
Nancy Pelosi needs to punk Mike Johnson... show him a new Montblanc fountain pen and tell him that they are on sale at Pen Island dot com. Shouldn't be long before the little Johnson texts him, "DAD!?!?!?! What were you doing at PenisLand?!?!"
If I remember correctly, Moses fucked up once, exactly once, and was denied entry into the Promised Land because of that. The Israelites were forced to wander the desert for forty years until he died before they could enter the Promised Land. I can imagine the conversation every morning in every Israelite household after about Year Twenty.
“The Lord began to wake me up, through this three-week process, in the middle of night to speak to me,” Johnson insisted.
Doesn't The Lord have any respect for your sleep schedule, Mike? You're a busy guy who needs a good night's rest! Can't The Lord send you a message on burned onto a piece of toast or something? Can you get something in writing?
Thanks Evan, you made me go to Pretty Neat Boobies dot com. Good thing I don’t have Covenant Eyes on my laptop. That app would crash from all the alerts about my…behavior.
Because weirdos like this clown refuse to give up the fantasy that sexual orientation is learned, and a choice. For deeply confused people like Mike Johnson, young people don’t know what gay is until they see gay in a gay book, then they become indoctrinated, and are unable to not be gay. It’s a lot to unpack, and entire camps, churches and other groups have devoted themselves to “conversion” therapy, to make gay people straight by carefully monitoring boner stimuli and immersion into all things heterosexual. Despite the idiotic concept being universally rejected as highly dangerous, abusive and ineffective by medicine and psychology, these wieners still think people learn gay or catch gay. “God chose me to be speaker” is the bestest story this twat could bring to this sad group.
I feel sure someone has pointed this out already, but saying "The Lord told me to [do a thing]" is the same reasoning a lot of serial killers trot out. I'm just saying.
I wish the Almighty would spend less time pulling Johnson’s chain (Johnson’s Johnson?) and more time eliminating war, pestilence, etc. tip for Johnson -- don’t hit a rock with a stick. El -Shaddai don’t like that.
Hey if Mike wants to lead all the MAGAts across the sea to another country, that’s fine with me. We can even skip the 12 plagues and they can leave right now.
". . . 'my chosen guy who spends all his time being mad at gay buttsex he's not having.'”
FIFY
"LMAO. This mediocre zero among men think God takes time out of bibbity-bobbity-boo-ing planets into existence and giving angels love-pats on their bottoms to talk to him. "
C'mon. We know how God *really* occupies His eternal time:
https://youtube.com/shorts/xE1qvrfMDfQ?
It requires a monumental ego, colossal self-regard, to assume you've been picked out by Providence to lead the country. In fact it requires precisely the kind of characteristics Christ warned against. I do believe in some kind of Deity. But I'm not arrogant enough to assume they've picked me for anything special, except to finish my book, keep drawing, and try to be decent to other people.
"Jim Jordan, a big brother of mine."
Yeah. That fits.
Riiiiiight. God took one look at Johnson and said: "You're my guy, bucko! Strap in and let's get you a gavel!"
Maybe it was a bit of undigested beef.
Nancy Pelosi needs to punk Mike Johnson... show him a new Montblanc fountain pen and tell him that they are on sale at Pen Island dot com. Shouldn't be long before the little Johnson texts him, "DAD!?!?!?! What were you doing at PenisLand?!?!"
This quote belongs here:
Voltaire — 'Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.'
If I remember correctly, Moses fucked up once, exactly once, and was denied entry into the Promised Land because of that. The Israelites were forced to wander the desert for forty years until he died before they could enter the Promised Land. I can imagine the conversation every morning in every Israelite household after about Year Twenty.
"He dead yet?"
"Nope."
"Fuck."
“The Lord began to wake me up, through this three-week process, in the middle of night to speak to me,” Johnson insisted.
Doesn't The Lord have any respect for your sleep schedule, Mike? You're a busy guy who needs a good night's rest! Can't The Lord send you a message on burned onto a piece of toast or something? Can you get something in writing?
Thanks Evan, you made me go to Pretty Neat Boobies dot com. Good thing I don’t have Covenant Eyes on my laptop. That app would crash from all the alerts about my…behavior.
Because weirdos like this clown refuse to give up the fantasy that sexual orientation is learned, and a choice. For deeply confused people like Mike Johnson, young people don’t know what gay is until they see gay in a gay book, then they become indoctrinated, and are unable to not be gay. It’s a lot to unpack, and entire camps, churches and other groups have devoted themselves to “conversion” therapy, to make gay people straight by carefully monitoring boner stimuli and immersion into all things heterosexual. Despite the idiotic concept being universally rejected as highly dangerous, abusive and ineffective by medicine and psychology, these wieners still think people learn gay or catch gay. “God chose me to be speaker” is the bestest story this twat could bring to this sad group.
I feel sure someone has pointed this out already, but saying "The Lord told me to [do a thing]" is the same reasoning a lot of serial killers trot out. I'm just saying.
Poor guy, does that mean he’ll never get to see the Promised Land?
I wish the Almighty would spend less time pulling Johnson’s chain (Johnson’s Johnson?) and more time eliminating war, pestilence, etc. tip for Johnson -- don’t hit a rock with a stick. El -Shaddai don’t like that.
Hey if Mike wants to lead all the MAGAts across the sea to another country, that’s fine with me. We can even skip the 12 plagues and they can leave right now.