Mission Accomplished! Tabs, Fri., April 10, 2026
Morning news roundup and things to read!
Good morning, get ready for all the news in the world. Or actually not that much news. Some of it. Some news.
Mission Accomplished. Which mission? All of them. Probably. Maybe? Maybe not. It’s secret? It’s secret. (The Fucking News)
Big day on the Internets yesterday afternoon! A day after Trump told a reporter it was a “beautiful thing” that Iran was going to put a tollbooth in the Strait of Hormuz, and that he was thinking about joining their cartel for a cut, he posted on his fake Twitter (Bluesky link) that this very new information to him was very they BETTER NOT and if they were they BETTER STOP. Then he called Alex Jones, Megyn Kelly, and Tucker Carlson stupid people, said they know it and their families know it, said he hoped Brigitte Macron took all of ugly Candace’s money, said Alex Jones was horrendous and should have lost all HIS money to the Sandy Hook parents, and it just went on and on and on and for the first time ever I got what some idiots see in Donald Trump.
Hey, so, anybody know why Melania chose yesterday to take to the White House podium and deny a friendship with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell? Is she trying to distract from the Iran Not A War That We Won Already that we launched to distract from … my brain hurts.
I do hope a JD Vance acolyte at State and other minions threatening the Pope will be more than a one-day story! Vance smarmily shrugged it off, as is his habit, as not worth commenting on since it is “unconfirmed.” (Letters From Leo)
All the rightwingers who took secret money from Russia want other rightwingers to go to jail for taking (?) secret money from Iran (?). Yes please. (The Bulwark)
The CDC is burying a study showing that COVID-19 vaccines cut your chance of getting hospitalized by more than 50 percent compared to idiots who keep refusing to get the jab? Well how the fuck ‘bout that! (Gift link Washington Post)
This poor young man’s parents are suing for his wrongful death after the “telehealth ICU” didn’t have any fucking doctors to see that he was dying. AIYEEEE. (People mag)
The Pitt’s doing a really really good job on all these awful healthcare issues and how Trump and RFK Jr. are murdering us. Look for that one to run next season I bet. (Don Moynihan)
I do not want to read about the chimp civil war and I’m not going to! (National Geographic)
Does Kevin Hassett mean “employment boom” like it got droned? (Steve Benen at Maddow Blog)
From last week, Madiba K. Dennie explains this whole stupid thing about the Alabama courts trying to decide if the (Black, obvs) pastor could sue the cops who cuffed him for watering his neighbors’ flowers or if they could Get Out Of Lawsuit Free. (Balls & Strikes)
Oh dear, I hope President Trump will force Virginia Gov. Abigail Spanberger to un-delete the Robert E. Lee license plates she just went General Sherman on :( (WAVY)
Wonkette friend Harryeagar has died. He was a retired newspaperman — I hope he got hugged on Hug A Newsperson Day last Saturday — and loved all of you. Probably except some of you, I bet. I am told he did love to argue. Here’s to Harry, and here’s to us all.
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Have a good weekend!
Highway Patrol: License and registration please. Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Melanie: I do not consent to you to lookeeng in trunk.
HP: Ma'am?
M: Thees baseless accoosayshuns uff epstein in trunk compleetly unfounded.
HP: Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the vehicle.
M: Also absolutely NO hoookers unt blow in trunk.